The 'You Know You Fence Too Much When..' Thread

[ParryRiposte]

When you hoard old bits of PVC pipe in the shop to use as blade covers.

When you're never free on weekends due to fencing, and thus have a struggling social life.

When the sound of a (scoring) machine is like heavenly music.

[Fencergrl]

YKYFTM when you spent last night thinking about building an outdoor piste in your backyard. I was thinking something wood.... easy on the joints, perhaps something portable that can be taken down.....

[ParryRiposte]

When you make your own fencing alphabet (i.e. a-advance, b-balestra, c-corps-a-corps) and use it to spell things out to people...

"Yes, that's 'Hall;' homologated, advance, lunge, lunge."

[fences_like_a_lemur]

When you send Zeus hate mail because there isn't a god or goddess of modern day fencing.

[the maple epee]

You lunge in your sleep.

[fences_like_a_lemur]

YKYFTM when you convince your parents to build a fencing strip into the patio in your back yard.

...when you are practicing advancing and retreating drills in the road that goes by your house.

...when as you're driving, you keep on playing bouts over and over in your head.

[Phaeton]

You know you fence to much when you're surprised that someone's name isn't on the back of their jacket and/or leg.

[tehcow]

A lot of these are hitting home pretty close, but there's one I've found myself doing in reality and it's a little more specific: You know you pommel too much when you try to figure out how close to the end you can hold your knife and still have enough control to cut your food.

[fences_like_a_lemur]

A lot of these are hitting home pretty close, but there's one I've found myself doing in reality and it's a little more specific: You know you pommel too much when you try to figure out how close to the end you can hold your knife and still have enough control to cut your food.

Which reminds me of a certain Thanksgiving dinner...

YKYFTM when you start doing blade drills with your dinner while everyone is looking at you like you're going to kill someone.

...when you shape your mashed potatoes that you're not going to eat into the shape of a sabre while waiting for everyone to finish eating.

...when you can't but help not posting on the "You Know You Fence Too Much When...' Thread

[ParryRiposte]

...when you turn in an exam and in the space where it says "DO NOT WRITE," you draw pictures of sabres and fencing stick figures.

...when you can explain math problems with fencing... and vice versa.

...when you buy new clothes and the first thing you think is "I wonder what I'd look like fencing in them?"

...when your project at home is to create a fencing sculpture out of old lawnmower parts.

[MessiahFencing]

when you describe the law of cosine fitting in the words 'it's kinda like the parry riposte of the math world'

[jBirch]

You know you fence too much when the social worker stops being concerned about the bruises.

James.

[fences_like_a_lemur]

YKYFTM when you're watching an action movie with your friends and they get mad when you start criticizing how the guy with a sword should have gotten cut down numerous times and not lived because he sucks...

[Asprin]

When friends ban you from saying fencing!

[fences_like_a_lemur]

YKYFTM when you wonder how a lemur would fence.

...when you dream of foilist lemmings running off a cliff.

[ParryRiposte]

When you buy music based on whether it is good fencing music or not.

When, instead of going shopping for heels, you buy fencing shoes.

[Fencergrl]

YKYFTM when you tell everyone you're not going to fence in a big tournament because you've been sick for 3 weeks prior and you haven't recovered. So you go to the tournament to help out and end up fencing two events back to back because you can't stand the sound of crashing blades and scoring machine and not having a blade in your hand.

[remistress]

YKYBFTM

When you've "taken a break from fencing", and go buy capris because they remind you of fencing knickers.

When entertainment in the lines at Disneyland is composed of hand-fencing with other fencers.

When your fuzzy dice are missing all their dots, because the fencers you've been carpooling with have decided they make excellent targets for flicks.

On your way to tournaments, you check people's quads to potentially *size up the competition*

You go see a prof., for whom you have no classes enrolled, to discuss a potential graduate thesis on game theory and team fencing (we didn't tell him it was a potential paper).

En guarde in EVERY sport (WII tennis, hockey, baseball...you name it).

[Hobbes]

YKYFTMW you can't sleep because you are going over mistakes from the previous weekend's tournament and are deciding how to train to eliminate them.

I'm so tired.

[ParryRiposte]

You know you fence (epee) too much when you find it impossible to stand still without bouncing back and forth a little bit... or you have to take medication for so-called "restless legs syndrome."

You know you fence (foil) too much when you go golfing and wear bermuda shorts, a zipped-up vest, and a long glove... and you insist on wearing a mask to complete the outfit.

You know you fence (sabre) too much when you get into massive, screaming arguments over trivial things... and your reasoning is that "I obviously parried him!"