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Senior Member
Array *Brings bottle of Yellowtail* Good thing I have my handy dandy Spanish
translator!
Argentinian: Donde Estoy?!?
Maple: He's saying "Where am I"? Mess with my cows and I'll break your knees U.S. OUT OF VERMONT More Cowbell -
Senior Member
Array Oh, thanks maple! *pours a few glasses*
What? He wants me to taze people? Okay! *runs around tazing people* -
Senior Member
Array Andre Moreau: I fall in love constantly, indiscriminately! The effect is the same as if I never fell in love at all. -
Senior Member
Array Haha! *tazes him more and laughs like a ditz* -
Senior Member
Array *Pulls out beer bong*
We better keep this away from PR! Mess with my cows and I'll break your knees U.S. OUT OF VERMONT More Cowbell -
Senior Member
Array Bong! Weed! Beer meets weed! Gimme! *tazes self* oww! Stoppit! -
Senior Member
Array *Maple takes tazer from PR* PR, Why don't you just sit down and take it easy for a minute. We don't want you to hurt yourself, right?
*Argentinian grabs tazer from Maple, holds it the wrong way round and pulls the trigger, accidently tazering himself* *everybody stares in stunned silence and then they burst out laughing* Pour me some more Yellowtail, PR. That was funny! Ooh boy, I'm glad he didn't get a hold of the cattle prod! Yaaay!
Who wants a cattle prod? I've got enough for everybody! *Starts prodding people* Mess with my cows and I'll break your knees U.S. OUT OF VERMONT More Cowbell -
Senior Member
Array *grabs maple and pours wine down his throat* There you go! Cattle prod? Yaay! Why do you have a cattle prod in a penthouse. Let alone more than one...
Did I ever tell you the story about the gun/tazer mixup? -
Senior Member
Array  Originally Posted by ParryRiposte Did I ever tell you the story about the gun/tazer mixup? No you didn't, please tell us.
*SF gets himself a plate of spanikopita* Andre Moreau: I fall in love constantly, indiscriminately! The effect is the same as if I never fell in love at all. -
Senior Member
Array No, tell me some time!
*Pokes SF with cattle prod*
Hee hee hee! He's still out! *Pours wine on SF*
*Pokes things with cattle prod*
Whoo! Hee hee. Mess with my cows and I'll break your knees U.S. OUT OF VERMONT More Cowbell -
Senior Member
Array Look!
My internet works again!
And I bet you all thought you were safe.... The preceding post brought to you by Rabid Monk (TM). Rabid Monk: informative, irreverent, interesting, random and downright odd posts, done with pride since 1983. -
Senior Member
Array *tackles maple to the floor* Sit down! Stop being pseudo-drunk! Okay, the tazer story...
So a friend of mine is a cop, right? One day she's on call; dispatch calls up and they tell her that there's a guy in the park who's run up a tree and refuses to get down. He was retarded or something, I guess. So she leaves to go deal with this guy. Anyway, she arrives at the park, there's people everywhere, and she's trying to talk him into getting down. He's carrying on and totally not listening. It gets to the point when she decides that the only way to get him down is to tranquilize him, i.e. taze him. Now, a tazer and a handgun have exactly the same feel and the same weight; the only way they can tell them apart is that they have a designated side for each. But she, of course, had them mixed up. She pulls out her gun and shoots the guy. She was fired the next day. Hah. -
Senior Member
Array Dude! That's awful and hilarious at the same time!
Now, back to being pseudo drunk.
*Dresses unconscious Argentinian in Santa costume*
Hahahaha! Whooooo! Mess with my cows and I'll break your knees U.S. OUT OF VERMONT More Cowbell -
Senior Member
Array Isn't it though! Now that I think about it, you bear a strong resemblance to that guy... 
Oh, psuedo-drunk. Right.
Oh, my, God. Did you see that? The big shiny guy in the middle of the living room just told me that I'm a superhero! Watch what I can do - I can break the coffee table in half with my forehead! *bangs head on table* -
Senior Member
Array *The Argentinian dressed as Santa start shooting up the penthouse with a machine gun*
(Hey have you ever noticed, Santa uses the same letters as Satan) Andre Moreau: I fall in love constantly, indiscriminately! The effect is the same as if I never fell in love at all. -
Senior Member
Array *Takes machine gun from Argentinian, throws it out window*
Hey! Didja hear about the dyslexic guy who sold his soul to santa? Mess with my cows and I'll break your knees U.S. OUT OF VERMONT More Cowbell -
Senior Member
Array No... do tell! Did he sell his soul?
Hey! That was mine! *dives out window to retrieve rifle* -
Senior Member
Array *Leaps out of window, grabs PR in mid air and opens parachute*
*Gives PR rifle and jet packs her back up to penthouse*
How heroic was that!?!
Ice cream anybody? Ive got every flavor of Ben & Jerry's! Mess with my cows and I'll break your knees U.S. OUT OF VERMONT More Cowbell -
Senior Member
Array *gasps* Oh! I am so offended by your so called "heroics," maple! You think that I can't take care of myself? I had everything totally planned out. But no, you had to save the day yet again. Thanks for nothing! *races to a back room to stew in egotistical irritation* -
Senior Member
Array Oh jeez...
*Rushes after PR*
PR? I'm sorry PR, I thought you were falling.
*Gives PR ice cream*
Will you come back and have fun with the rest of us?
Whaddya say? Mess with my cows and I'll break your knees U.S. OUT OF VERMONT More Cowbell Similar Threads -
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