The 516,649 post thread

[the maple epee]

*Lemur drives over landmines that Maple had placed in road and dies instantly.*
*Maple smiles* See you in the afterlife Lemur! *Maple dies due to loss of blood*

[fences_like_a_lemur]

*Lemur -notice the usage of the shift key- walks to the gates of Heaven*

Hey St. Peter! Short time no see! Oh Look! My camera!!!! So...err, can I please go back to earth?

*gets sent back to earth via the divine writ of the Whale Gods of the Lemurs*

Now where did Maple go? Hell maybe since I didn't see him on the way to Heaven...hmm

[ParryRiposte]

You can't sit for a moment, can you? Ah, well. Tell me the extent of his injuries! *stands up* *to the gunsmen* Well, I think I should get back to the penthouse, it's getting late. *jumps in DB9 and drives off to penthouse*

[the maple epee]

*The Maple Flavored Demon relaxes in his penthouse in hell*

[ParryRiposte]

*reclining on couch* This has been an awesome day! Maple died, I got a sweet penthouse, I went to dinner with a crowd of stud-muffins courtesy of a super talking lemur! *yawns and shambles off to bed*

[the maple epee]

*Timed explosives in penthouse go off, killing PR instantly*

[ParryRiposte]

*with dying breath* maple... I never did anything to you after... the truce... I sat and waited... there was nothing I could do... *dies*

[the maple epee]

You took advantage of my hospitality and trust.
I... Oh you're right. I shouldn't have... I... If there was only a way to undo the damage. *single tear runs down Maple's cheek*
Hey, what's that? Its a time rewind button! I could undo it all!
*Sets time rewind button and pushes it*

(In the penthouse, a number of hours earlier)
Something to eat, PR?
I'm gonna call up SF to see if he still has that keg.

[ParryRiposte]

*smiles* allow me, maple! I'll cook a spanakatiropita, if you are so in the mood. Put on some music, will you?

[the maple epee]

Sure!
*Puts on the can can song*

SF should be here soon.

[ParryRiposte]

How do you know that? Stalking him or something? Anyway, he'd better get here soon. Do you have any beer in the meantime?

Dammit, I was laughing so hard at my camera phone that my makeup is running. Excuse me. *runs off to find mirror*

[the maple epee]

There's a nice Boujolais in the wine cabinet.

I'll check on the spanikopita.

[ParryRiposte]

Hmm, pour me a glass.

AHH! No, that's okay, er, don't go in there! There's a... I can't... just... DON'T!

[the maple epee]

*Opens oven door*

What did you say?

[ParryRiposte]

*black smoke pours out* Aah! Uhh... aah!

[the maple epee]

Uagh! What is that?!

[ParryRiposte]

Er... I don't know, oh, look! Whatever happened to the oven?

(It's the library computer that I burned, actually. It's going hella slow, so I think I'll call it an afternoon... see ya 'round, brother!)

[the maple epee]

Where is that SF?
He really should be here by now. Oh well. PR, how's that Boujolais?

[ParryRiposte]

I don't know... perhaps someone killed him. Monk is gone too. Hm.

Oh, the wine's excellent-

*At this point in the story, PR suddenly jumped out the window.*

[the maple epee]

PR! Where are you going?!
*Jumps out window after PR*