The 516,649 post thread

[fences_like_a_lemur]

I don't drink coffee, it's yucky...and as for the tea, I don't trust you.

80 inch TV screen? Isn't that a card board box with a sheet of smoked glass in it?

*continues story* ...well you see, I went up to hang out with old friend St. Peter and we were sitting around having noon tea when all of sudden...*glares at pizza man...jumps and rips out his throat in one fell bite*...now maple, it is polite to listen to someone when they are talking...and it isn't polite to start striping a pizza guy in front of everyone else...

[the maple epee]

Why do you always expect the worst from me?
I didn't poison the tea. See?
*Drinks tea* I'm fine!
*Goes to get pizza*
*Looks out peephole, sees guys with uzis*
Oh my god! It's the guy I stole the paintings from! Quick! Follow me!
*Pushes revolving bookcase out of the way to reveal stairs. Runs up stairs to roof hatch. Gets out on roof and rushes to waiting private helicopter. Opens door of helicopter* Quick! Into the chopper! There is no time to waste!

[ParryRiposte]

I think it is... maple, I knew you were a poser!

maple, you're ruining the story. Go away! Get a room with your dead pizza man! You were saying, lemur, all of a sudden... did someone die?

[ParryRiposte]

Why do you always expect the worst from me?
I didn't poison the tea. See?
*Drinks tea* I'm fine!
*Goes to get pizza*
*Looks out peephole, sees guys with uzis*
Oh my god! It's the guy I stole the paintings from! Quick! Follow me!
*Pushes revolving bookcase out of the way to reveal stairs. Runs up stairs to roof hatch. Gets out on roof and rushes to waiting private helicopter. Opens door of helicopter* Quick! Into the chopper! There is no time to waste!

He's out to get you, not me. Why were you playing up to him if he's out to get you? *sniggers as she thinks of how she drained the fuel tank*

[fences_like_a_lemur]

Just a second PR, I believe that someone is at the door...and it's always polite to open the door for guests.

*walks over to the door an opens it*

May I help you Mr. Tough-Guy-With-A-Gun? If you're looking for one Maple Epee, I believe that he just fled through a secret passage way and up to his personal helicopter. What he failed to notice was that I already found the passageway and tampered with his helicopter...it won't start.

Good luck!

*walks over to PR and sits down on couch*

[ParryRiposte]

Just a second PR, I believe that someone is at the door...and it's always polite to open the door for guests.

*walks over to the door an opens it*

May I help you Mr. Tough-Guy-With-A-Gun? If you're looking for one Maple Epee, I believe that he just fled through a secret passage way and up to his personal helicopter. What he failed to notice was that I already found the passageway and tampered with his helicopter...it won't start.

Good luck!

*walks over to PR and sits down on couch*

As opposed to letting them walk through the door?

Hey, big guy! Shoot maple extra hard for me, okay?

Did you call him over here, lemur? Bravo. Shall I call for some Italian food?

[fences_like_a_lemur]

Well I gues...*gets interrupted*

Darn! *pulls out secret red phone* Hello? ...*listens*... WHAT?!?!?

Sorry PR, but duty calls! *runs and jumps out of window, then flies off into the sunset*

[ParryRiposte]

Don't-

*walks over to wide panorama window and watches the lemur fly off into sunset* Wow...

*looks around the nice penthouse* This... is all mine now. Excellent. *runs around checking things out*

[the maple epee]

Maple speaks to gunmen. There is a young girl in the apartment. I want you to take care of her as efficiently as possible. Dipose of the body in the river.
Be careful. She is dangerous. Go now and be quick!
*Base jumps off tower*

[fences_like_a_lemur]

*Flies back to the tower and cuts Maples rope so that he falls all the way down to the concrete*

Maple...when are you going to learn that base jumping is bad for your health? And also...those gunmen are loyal to me...sorry to disappoint you!

[ParryRiposte]

*watches from the top of the stairs* does that mean now you're going to set them on me?

[fences_like_a_lemur]

does that mean now you're going to set them on me?

Yup! Men, please escort Mrs. PR to the nearest restaurant that she wants to go to, and you guys have to pay...

Now Maple, I think I still wanted to gloat about something...

[ParryRiposte]

Hmm, sweet! Wait - *looks down at bloodstained clothes* let me get changed first. *runs into giant walk-in wardrobe* Womens clothing... maple... what? *selects a black cocktail dress* I don't even want to imagine maple in this...

[the maple epee]

*Lands on strategicaly placed awning, slides off and gets into Mini Cooper. Drives away*

[ParryRiposte]

You know, you won't get very far in that...

[fences_like_a_lemur]

*jumps into Aston Martin DB9 and drives after Maples*

*pulls up along side Maple, while I'm driving in reverse*

Heya Maple! Hows your day been so far?

[the maple epee]

*Sigh*
I'm leaving. I'm going to find myself. I'm going to find the real Maple.
My trust has been betrayed too many times.

Goodbye.

*Maple drives off into the sunset*

[fences_like_a_lemur]

*Maple crashes into a big spot light*

...err Maple are you okay? That wasn't the sunset...

Monk, are you out there? I seem to have lost my camera, do you know where I left it?

[ParryRiposte]

*meanwhile, PR is at an Italian restaurant downtown, when she sees a mini cooper screaming down the road and a DB9 driving in reverse* Maple must be leaving... yes! We have won! *toasts gunmen and lemur*

[fences_like_a_lemur]

*quickly drives back to Italian restaurant and grabs something to eat with PR*

Well I should probably go and see how Maple is doing...maybe he's died of loss of blood already! Keep your fingers crossed!

*drives back to find Maple*