The 516,649 post thread

[the maple epee]

*Fishes RM and Lemur out of pond* Alright everybody, hop in the truck. Oh, by the way, can RM or Lemur, can one of you drive? I'm a little banged up!

[ParryRiposte]

Drive? In that? *indicates truck* You've got to be kidding me... we're at an airport, right? So why don't we hijack a luggage trolley? The pub's downroad from here, isn't it?

[the maple epee]

Well, I suppose you know your way around F.net city better than I do.
*Grabs baggage handler off lugagge trolley and hits him* Thats for the wheels on my fencing bag! Hop on everybody! *Everybody jumps on. Peels out* Point the way!

[ParryRiposte]

Great, I can find Seattle... but where exactly are we? *pulls out handgun and shoots the cop pursuing them*

[the maple epee]

Uhhhh, I think that Seattle's thatawa... Aaaaaaugh! Moose in the road! *Swerves, loses control. Luggage trolley hits guardrail and flips, sending everyone into the ditch. Maple hits head on rock and loses consciousness*

[ParryRiposte]

"And so maple was ultimately vanquished by a rock in a ditch..." Poor you. Maybe the quest should continue on foot. I think the pub is thataway. *picks up maple and begins to half-drag, half-carry him down the road*

[Smyles]

*random filler post*

[ParryRiposte]

Yeah! Thank you, Smyles! I know now that somebody cares about whatever this thread stands for!

[the maple epee]

Wh... Where am... *Lapses back into unconsiousness*

[ParryRiposte]

Get up. Keep walking. I will kill if I have to sleep on the side of the road with you lot tonight. *smacks maple to revive him*

[the maple epee]

Wha? Wh... Who are you? Who... Who am I? Oh god! I can't... I can't...
I can't remember anything!

[ParryRiposte]

Really, now... *laughs maliciously and smiles sweetly* well, I'm sorry that happened. You seem to have hit your head while we were on the way to a tournament. A tournament, as in a sabre fencing tournament. Do you know what that is?

[the maple epee]

Sa... Sabre? No. Who am I? Who are you? Oh my god, I can remember an airplane. It... It... Crashed. *Sits up, looks around. Looks at PR* Who?..

[ParryRiposte]

*slowly* You are John. John Smith. Don't be frightened; calm down. We were in a wreck on the way to a fencing tournament; in the crash when you tried to save the life of an epeeist, they clubbed you over the head. Because of their rash, ungrateful actions, most of your memory is gone, and you may never recover. Wouldn't you like to exact revenge on them and everything they stand for? Wouldn't you like to make them feel as much pain as you do now? Well, I don't need your answer now, I want you to think long and hard, and when we get to the sabre tournament you can tell me when you're ready to fight back. *extends hand* What do you say?

[SFfencer]

*they get to the pub*
*and soon SF, PR, John Smith(Maple), Lemur, and RM all get drunk on Guinness*
--
*Just then the pub gets held-up by four masked gunmen*

[ParryRiposte]

John Smith! Look! It's those blue dudes we saw on TV with the drums and the fire and the funny music... haaa, those were good times, good times... OH MY GOD! He's got a gun! And he does too! Here, take these! *hands out a ladle, a fake rifle from over the door, some darts, and a TV. PR brandishes a handbag.* Yeaaah, get out of here. Chaaaaaaarge! *runs at the first gunman with her handbag*

[the maple epee]

OH MY GOD! Why do I have a ladle?!? *Swings ladle wildly, knocking one of the gunmen unconcious*

[ParryRiposte]

You moron! How dare you wear a mask! *shoves the handbag down the second guy's throat* John, quick! Where is lemur?!

[D'Art]

Where is lemur?!

He's inside Inq.

Now, then, wtf is going on here? I feel like I've been eating dodgy mushrooms while watching a Tarantino film here....

[UnorthodoxEpeeist]

So I was gone a couple of days...

And I have no idea where this thread is going, other than being an area where people can post random things.