07-26-2002, 02:40 AM
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#1 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Where it's 72 degrees year round most of the time
Posts: 160
| 10 ways to tell your fencing someone better then you. I saw this on a T-shirt from a guy in Texas. I could only remember Five of them..........Sorry. But feel free to add on!
[list]
5. Your opponent has a nickname for each weapon
4. Corporate Sponsor
3. Uses Jedi mind tricks to influence judges in their favor
2. Has a lacky to carry all their equiptment
1. 0-15 in under a minute
<small>[ 07-26-2002, 06:41 AM: Message edited by: It ]</small> |
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07-26-2002, 04:51 AM
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#2 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 1999 Location: Australia - various
Posts: 2,764
| 6. People actually make a path for them when they walk into a venue.
__________________ Theses are evil....VERY evil, someone rescue me pls! |
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07-26-2002, 05:07 AM
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#3 | | Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Scotland
Posts: 5,523
| 7. They have their own theme tune
8. Everbody gasps when you tell them who you're Fencing. |
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07-26-2002, 05:22 AM
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#4 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Hamilton, Ontario
Posts: 782
| I've won 15-0 in less than one minute. At first, I fenced her to see how good she was. After seeing she was a novice, I just did a string of simple attacks and kept on scoring as quick as possible, merciless... yet fun.
10. Your opponent uses you as practice for the harder bouts.
9. Your opponent practices their scoring yell, modifying it each time they score to make sure they sound cool.
8. Your opponent does show-off moves for their girlfriend and/or friends.
7. Your opponent switches to the traditional fencing en garde (back arm up with wrist hanging loose) for kicks. |
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07-26-2002, 10:00 AM
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#5 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Beaverton, OR, USA
Posts: 1,781
| 11. "Oh, sh**, he can hit on the front, too?" |
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07-26-2002, 11:43 AM
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#6 | | Fencing Expert
Join Date: May 2000 Location: The valley of the -hot- sun, NorCal
Posts: 3,185
| 12- Your opponent can play xylophone with your vertebrae
13- Your opponent uses a French grip
14- Your opponent's name ends with -in, -sky, or -ov
15- Your opponent looks like a cold blooded killer.
<small>[ 07-26-2002, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: veeco ]</small>
__________________ - Epee is the Louis Vuitton bag of fencing: only the best can get it, and the rest of the masses must content themselves with cheap knockoffs (sabre, foil)
- To not recognize the power of the French grip is to be in denial
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07-26-2002, 11:51 AM
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#7 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gulf Coast Division
Posts: 2,414
| I like numbers 13 and 14.
Esp. 14 since many French grip fencers are just newbies.
__________________
... without remorse for the past, confident in the present, and full of hope for the future, [d'artagnan] went to bed and slept the sleep of the brave.
- The Three Musketeers
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07-26-2002, 12:13 PM
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#8 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gulf Coast Division
Posts: 2,414
| </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Helvetica, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">Originally posted by three_hundred_fifty_five:
<strong>I've won 15-0 in less than one minute. At first, I fenced her to see how good she was. After seeing she was a novice, I just did a string of simple attacks and kept on scoring as quick as possible, merciless... yet fun.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">Evil, pure evil.
On the switching to tradional form, I've done that before. It was because I felt that I was getting beaten because I was out of control. However, I quickly switched back because I realized I was too tired and lazy to keep my arm up and not bounce.
__________________
... without remorse for the past, confident in the present, and full of hope for the future, [d'artagnan] went to bed and slept the sleep of the brave.
- The Three Musketeers
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07-26-2002, 02:21 PM
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#9 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 4,952
| 16. Your opponent scores using a different action for every touch, just to keep from being bored.
__________________ I'm not anonymous. We just haven't been properly introduced. |
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07-26-2002, 02:27 PM
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#10 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: NJ, USA
Posts: 1,245
| 17. Fifteen separate bruises in a beautiful geometric pattern utilizing your torso and each limb.
Paolo
__________________
"He is a man of splendid abilities but utterly corrupt. He shines and stinks like rotten mackerel by moonlight." "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats."
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07-26-2002, 03:28 PM
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#11 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: 40D 34' 7.046" N by 74D 26' 23.503" W
Posts: 817
| 18. Your opponent yawns as you are attacking, and still gets the touch.
19. You keep slashing at air on every ripost.
20. Your opponent thinks of you as target practice.
__________________
Don't take life so seriously... You'll never live through it.
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07-26-2002, 03:54 PM
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#12 | | Quit (no longer with us)
Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: usa
Posts: 1,307
| i can never tell. but if a fencer is a lot larger or heavier than me, i understand that it will be very difficult for me to fence them. |
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07-26-2002, 10:46 PM
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#13 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: CA
Posts: 407
| </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Helvetica, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">Originally posted by Peach:
<strong>16. Your opponent scores using a different action for every touch, just to keep from being bored.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">21. Your opponent scores using the same action for every touch, and every time it works.  |
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07-27-2002, 08:36 AM
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#14 | | Just Joined
Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Somewhere east of Hell
Posts: 2
| 22. Your opponent takes requests on where to score a touch from bystanders.
23. Your opponent snaps your suspenders...from the base of your knickers.
__________________ Rhia |
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07-27-2002, 08:53 AM
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#15 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 4,952
| </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Helvetica, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">Originally posted by shyHeidi:
<strong>21. Your opponent scores using the same action for every touch, and every time it works.  </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">Gawd, ain't THAT the truth.
<small>[ 07-27-2002, 12:54 PM: Message edited by: Peach ]</small>
__________________ I'm not anonymous. We just haven't been properly introduced. |
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07-27-2002, 09:48 AM
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#16 | | Fencing Expert
Join Date: May 2000 Location: The valley of the -hot- sun, NorCal
Posts: 3,185
| Along the same lines:
24. In Epee, after the bout, you have to have a cast made around you big toe.
__________________ - Epee is the Louis Vuitton bag of fencing: only the best can get it, and the rest of the masses must content themselves with cheap knockoffs (sabre, foil)
- To not recognize the power of the French grip is to be in denial
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07-27-2002, 12:39 PM
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#17 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Panorama City, ca USA
Posts: 7,972
| </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Helvetica, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">Originally posted by maniacalfencer:
<strong>22. Your opponent takes requests on where to score a touch from bystanders.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">25. You opponent does the "Called Shot" and points at a specific spot on your bod...then nails it. |
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07-27-2002, 12:59 PM
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#18 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: USA
Posts: 924
| 26. In sabre, when your opponent scores almost all their touches on just faster advance lunges (well, slow advance, fast lunge) in a would-be simultanious action. 
__________________
-Sabresque
"Those whippernsapper Be-Bop Bohemians!"
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07-27-2002, 03:21 PM
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#19 | | Member
Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 97
| This could be a sign that you're fencing someone better than you. I saw something funny at the club a couple of nights ago. A guy and a girl were fencing epee together and on one exchange he somehow yanked her body-wire right out of her jacket. Everyone cracked up when they saw what happened. Has anyone else seen or experienced something like this? |
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07-27-2002, 03:58 PM
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#20 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,201
| 27. Your opponent never seems to move but always hits you.
<small>[ 07-27-2002, 07:59 PM: Message edited by: swordsen ]</small>
__________________
If you give a man a fire, he is warm for the night.
If you set a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life.
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