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  1. #1
    It
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    10 ways to tell your fencing someone better then you.

    I saw this on a T-shirt from a guy in Texas. I could only remember Five of them..........Sorry. But feel free to add on!
    [LIST]
    5. Your opponent has a nickname for each weapon
    4. Corporate Sponsor
    3. Uses Jedi mind tricks to influence judges in their favor
    2. Has a lacky to carry all their equiptment
    1. 0-15 in under a minute

    <small>[ 07-26-2002, 06:41 AM: Message edited by: It ]</small>

  2. #2
    Senior Member Array Zelda's Avatar
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    6. People actually make a path for them when they walk into a venue.
    Theses are evil....VERY evil, someone rescue me pls!

  3. #3
    Gav
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    7. They have their own theme tune

    8. Everbody gasps when you tell them who you're Fencing.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array three_hundred_fifty_five's Avatar
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    I've won 15-0 in less than one minute. At first, I fenced her to see how good she was. After seeing she was a novice, I just did a string of simple attacks and kept on scoring as quick as possible, merciless... yet fun.

    10. Your opponent uses you as practice for the harder bouts.
    9. Your opponent practices their scoring yell, modifying it each time they score to make sure they sound cool.
    8. Your opponent does show-off moves for their girlfriend and/or friends.
    7. Your opponent switches to the traditional fencing en garde (back arm up with wrist hanging loose) for kicks.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array darius's Avatar
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    11. "Oh, sh**, he can hit on the front, too?"

  6. #6
    Fencing Expert Array veeco's Avatar
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    12- Your opponent can play xylophone with your vertebrae
    13- Your opponent uses a French grip
    14- Your opponent's name ends with -in, -sky, or -ov
    15- Your opponent looks like a cold blooded killer.

    <small>[ 07-26-2002, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: veeco ]</small>
    • Epee is the Louis Vuitton bag of fencing: only the best can get it, and the rest of the masses must content themselves with cheap knockoffs (sabre, foil)
    • To not recognize the power of the French grip is to be in denial

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array D'Artagnan1673's Avatar
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    I like numbers 13 and 14.

    Esp. 14 since many French grip fencers are just newbies.
    ... without remorse for the past, confident in the present, and full of hope for the future, [d'artagnan] went to bed and slept the sleep of the brave.
    - The Three Musketeers

  8. #8
    Senior Member Array D'Artagnan1673's Avatar
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    </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Helvetica, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">Originally posted by three_hundred_fifty_five:
    <strong>I've won 15-0 in less than one minute. At first, I fenced her to see how good she was. After seeing she was a novice, I just did a string of simple attacks and kept on scoring as quick as possible, merciless... yet fun.

    </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">Evil, pure evil.

    On the switching to tradional form, I've done that before. It was because I felt that I was getting beaten because I was out of control. However, I quickly switched back because I realized I was too tired and lazy to keep my arm up and not bounce.
    ... without remorse for the past, confident in the present, and full of hope for the future, [d'artagnan] went to bed and slept the sleep of the brave.
    - The Three Musketeers

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array Peach's Avatar
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    16. Your opponent scores using a different action for every touch, just to keep from being bored.
    "Arm yourself, Watson, there is an evil hand afoot ahead." -- Dennis Pierce, 2010 Bulwer-Lytton contest, detective fiction category runner-up.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array damianip's Avatar
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    17. Fifteen separate bruises in a beautiful geometric pattern utilizing your torso and each limb.

    Paolo
    "He is a man of splendid abilities but utterly corrupt. He shines and stinks like rotten mackerel by moonlight." "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats."

  11. #11
    Senior Member Array counter riposte's Avatar
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    18. Your opponent yawns as you are attacking, and still gets the touch.
    19. You keep slashing at air on every ripost.
    20. Your opponent thinks of you as target practice.
    Don't take life so seriously... You'll never live through it.

  12. #12
    Quit (no longer with us) Array 135711's Avatar
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    i can never tell. but if a fencer is a lot larger or heavier than me, i understand that it will be very difficult for me to fence them.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Array shyHeidi's Avatar
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    </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Helvetica, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">Originally posted by Peach:
    <strong>16. Your opponent scores using a different action for every touch, just to keep from being bored.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">21. Your opponent scores using the same action for every touch, and every time it works.

  14. #14
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    22. Your opponent takes requests on where to score a touch from bystanders.

    23. Your opponent snaps your suspenders...from the base of your knickers.
    Rhia

  15. #15
    Senior Member Array Peach's Avatar
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    </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Helvetica, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">Originally posted by shyHeidi:
    <strong>21. Your opponent scores using the same action for every touch, and every time it works. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">Gawd, ain't THAT the truth.

    <small>[ 07-27-2002, 12:54 PM: Message edited by: Peach ]</small>
    "Arm yourself, Watson, there is an evil hand afoot ahead." -- Dennis Pierce, 2010 Bulwer-Lytton contest, detective fiction category runner-up.

  16. #16
    Fencing Expert Array veeco's Avatar
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    Along the same lines:

    24. In Epee, after the bout, you have to have a cast made around you big toe.
    • Epee is the Louis Vuitton bag of fencing: only the best can get it, and the rest of the masses must content themselves with cheap knockoffs (sabre, foil)
    • To not recognize the power of the French grip is to be in denial

  17. #17
    Posting Hound Array Purple Fencer's Avatar
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    </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Helvetica, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">Originally posted by maniacalfencer:
    <strong>22. Your opponent takes requests on where to score a touch from bystanders.
    </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Helvetica, Arial">25. You opponent does the "Called Shot" and points at a specific spot on your bod...then nails it.
    Need fencing equipment? See me at H.O.M. Fencing Supply

    Going to your first tournament? Read "Choose yer weapon, Laddie (or: Dude, where's my foil?)"

  18. #18
    Senior Member Array Sabresque's Avatar
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    26. In sabre, when your opponent scores almost all their touches on just faster advance lunges (well, slow advance, fast lunge) in a would-be simultanious action.
    -Sabresque

    "Those whippernsapper Be-Bop Bohemians!"

  19. #19
    Member Array SäbelFechter's Avatar
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    This could be a sign that you're fencing someone better than you. I saw something funny at the club a couple of nights ago. A guy and a girl were fencing epee together and on one exchange he somehow yanked her body-wire right out of her jacket. Everyone cracked up when they saw what happened. Has anyone else seen or experienced something like this?

  20. #20
    Senior Member Array swordsen's Avatar
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    27. Your opponent never seems to move but always hits you.

    <small>[ 07-27-2002, 07:59 PM: Message edited by: swordsen ]</small>
    If you give a man a fire, he is warm for the night.
    If you set a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life.

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