coaching classifieds in New American Fencing Magazine

[fleuretrogue]

Hi all,

Does anyone else find this to be extremely funny? Swear to god, this was in the magazine...:-)

<Snip>
xxxx club is looking for an established fencing coach who has a unique ability to teach and develop Youth, Jr., and Adult fencers to the national level. Must have a strong competitive background with modern day knowledge of the latest techniques. Able and willing to teach school/college programs that are already established. Must give great lessons that produce results in a short order.

[coup de grace coming up here...]

Must be able to speak English fluently, with little effort to understand what you are saying, if you are not a native American.

<snip> ad goes on...THEN.

You must be able to provide for your own travel to xxxxx and obtain your own vehicle and housing. Must be self-sufficient monetarily.

<snip>


still laughing...this deserves hall of fame status in the book "Eats, Shoots and Leaves". If you don't know this book, look it up.

{edit} ok, I keep reading this ad over and over again. I am now OK with it...because I figure if you apply for this position you deserve it..:-)

[CvilleFencer]

Not really that funny when you hear some of the stories, especially involving self styled "Olympic Level Coaches" coming in from the former Com Block and Middle East a while ago.

I will agree that it is worded a bit oddly, but if I were hiring another coach for my club they would need to:

Speak and read English to a reasonable level.

Understand that their salary does not include room, board or transport.

Be willing to work with recreational fencers at my school and Parks and Rec programs in addition to the "elites" of the club.

Have strong people and mentoring skills.

Have a verifiable and truthful resume.

Must know a fair bit about fencing all three weapons also!

If you think those things are assumed, you have never went looking to hire a coach and thrown your net out to include all of the FIE. It can be pretty amusing some of what you get. One of my favorite offers (unsolicited believe it or not) was from a polish "coach" who was willing to allow me to fly him to the US to interview him as long as I provided his airfare, hotel and arranged for a car to be under his use for the (minimum) 3 days he would be visiting. In addition to salary he expected to have housing and such arranged and/or (not sure about this as it was a bit hard to understand him) live on site at the club... And no, I nor anyone I know had ever heard of the guy...

[fleuretrogue]

CvilleFencer..

HIRING OF A COACH IS NOT THE POINT! come on.. lighten up...this is a funny ad.

1. Must give great lessons that produce results in a short order.

(now read this aloud and think, think about what it says)

2. Must be able to speak English fluently, with little effort to understand what you are saying, if you are not a native American.

3. You must be able to provide for your own travel to xxxxx and obtain your own vehicle and housing. Must be self-sufficient monetarily.

and the reasons that the above are funny...

1. No coach is a short order cook..
2. "with little effort to understand what you are saying" Nuff said though I know one "native american" coach.
3. "...must be self-sufficient monetarily" If I were self-sufficient monetarily, I wouldn't need a fencing coach position.

sheesh! do I have to spell it out.

[fleuretrogue]

In addition, is not the unintentional butchering of the English language cause enough for laughter..it's funny dammit, laugh!

[HDG]

Originally Posted by fleuretrogue

In addition, is not the unintentional butchering of the English language cause enough for laughter..it's funny dammit, laugh!

If you have to tell someone something's funny...

[oiuyt]

Originally Posted by fleuretrogue

1. No coach is a short order cook..

I know a coach who was/is a short order cook. Not sure if he's still doing that, but for at least a while that's how he was supporting himself while coaching in the evenings.

Originally Posted by fleuretrogue

3. "...must be self-sufficient monetarily" If I were self-sufficient monetarily, I wouldn't need a fencing coach position.

Might not need such a position, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't be looking for one. Lots more reasons to coach than for the money (thankfully!).

-B

[edew]

Originally Posted by oiuyt

I know a coach who was/is a short order cook. Not sure if he's still doing that, but for at least a while that's how he was supporting himself while coaching in the evenings.

Well there you go. A match made in heaven.

Might not need such a position, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't be looking for one. Lots more reasons to coach than for the money (thankfully!).

-B

Maybe that's the same person? Maybe your short-order cook/coach is now extremely wealthy and is looking for yucks in fencing.

It is sort of funny in the butchered English angle. Seems like the originator of said ad just emailed the ad in.

It also does seem to be a rather tall order to get someone who is independently wealthy and a known entity who has a recent record of developing people from scratch.

Hah! A tall order for a short order cook coach.

[fleuretrogue]

"...A tall order for a short order cook coach."

beautiful!

[Beowulfman6]

Originally Posted by HDG

If you have to tell someone something's funny...

I agree. It is mildly funny- but not funny enough to warrandt a laugh, smile, or even a smirk. Well, maybe a small smirk.

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

Hah.

That coach doesnt exist.

[CvilleFencer]

Originally Posted by D+F+P=Hadouken!

Hah.

That coach doesnt exist.

Sure they do. They are just running their own clubs and/or coaching national team members...