Feeling Stressed?

[Catlady]

I redecorated my room this week, and let me tell you it was an adventure, but I won't go into it--just the usual contractor difficulties mostly. Anyway this forced me to go through all the stuff I had lying around and I found this list. I thought I'd pass it on.

Ways to Relieve Stress
1. Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa.
3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
4. When someone says "Have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.
5. Forget the Diet Center. Send yourself a Candygram.
6. Make a list of things to do that you've already done.
7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him off to preschool as if nothing's wrong.
8. Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
9. Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
10. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
11. Leaf through a National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.
12. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
13. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
14. Drive to work in reverse.
15. Relax by reflecting on your favoriate episode of "The Flintstones" during that important finance meeting.
16. Refresh yourself, put your tongue on a cold steel guard rail.
17. Tell your boss to blow it out his mule and let him figure it out.
18. Polish your car with ear wax.
19. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
20. Bill your doctor for time spent in his waiting room.
21. Braid the hairs in each nostril.
22. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
23. Stare at people through the tines on a fork and pretend they're in jail.
24. Make up a language and ask people for directions.
25. Act like a big tree.


I don't know who to credit this to, it was printed in a newsletter I got a few years ago and they didn't attribute it. Anyway, enjoy. <img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[Jester]" />

[ 03-30-2002: Message edited by: Catlady ]</p>

[D'Artagnan1673]

That's pretty funny, someone out there is really crazy!!!! Its got to take a warped mind to come up with that.

I've often contemplated just how warped Monty Python's mind is too. Who else would put a scene in a movie where an old hag is slamming a cat against the wall as a leasure activity? LOL!

[Fencing Angel]

hehe.... the flip side to that is a healthy level of insanity...

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has Gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Dont use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of MS"
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity......

[Scaramouche]

Angel, that was classic! Did you write that?

This entire thread is great! Not sure I'd try any of it in reality though. The ATM thing is quite amusing, I'd love to try that one with a huge line of people behind me.....

<img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[Jester]" />

[Haze]

on a similar note, I got this in an email:

---------------------

Subject: Fun Things To Do In An Elevator
Date: Tue, 20 Nov 2001 12:38:14 -0000

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"

---------------------

I don't take any responsibility for consequences if you try any of these. And yes, I am stressed.
<img src="confused.gif" border="0">

[D'Artagnan1673]

This thread is crazy!!!!

[Fencing Angel]

yes you right it is..

to answer you question though.. no i didn't.. found it one day while browsing.. gotta love it..

<img src="graemlins/jester.gif" border="0" alt="[Jester]" /> <img src="graemlins/blah.gif" border="0" alt="[Blah]" /> <img src="graemlins/fett.gif" border="0" alt="[The Fett]" />

[Scaramouche]

This is not the best version of this list I've ever seen, but some are amusing nonetheless!

Things to do when you're stuck in traffic...
1. Honk your horn (old favourite)
2. Sing to the song on the radio
3. Sing to the song on the radio of the car beside you
4. Make up your own song to sing
5. Put on a Barry Manilow tape/CD/8-track (it is suggested that you try everything else on this list before you try this one!)
6. Play the drums on the steering wheel along with the song
7. Lay the seat back down until it is horizontal and do sit-ups
8. Use your windscreen washer until it runs out of water
9. Get out of your car and jog in circles around it, occasionally pausing and leaning on the surrounding cars to stretch your calf muscles
10. Get out of your car, shout "Taxi!" and then stand waiting for one.
11. Drive backwards and forwards in the space you have until your car runs out of petrol
12. Jump out of your car and shout "Everbody slow down! You're freaking me out!" (It's best to look really upset for this one)
13. Get out of your car, walk to the car in front of you and ask the driver if you can join them. Regardless of their response, get in the car and start talking about the most annoying subject you can think of until they kick you out. Repeat this proces with every car in front of yours. When you reach the car at the front of the line, kick the driver out and drive off
14. Ask the driver of each car if they want their windscreen washed for $5. If they do, reach in and turn on their windscreen wipers
15. Start playing the theme from Mission Impossible and run between the cars, occasionally diving to the ground and rolling underneath them. When the song ends, casually walk back to your car and get in, acting as though it wasn't you
16. Sit on your head
17. If you have electric windows, wind the window up and down continuously, all the time watching it as if it's possessed
18. If you have a CB radio, select an open channel and start speaking in martian
19. Climb onto the roof of your car and start reading the newspaper to the cars behind you. If you don't have a newspaper, use your car's manual
20. Pretend you're Al Unser Jr racing at Indianapolis (include sound effects)
21. Fart, then blame it on the guy in front of you
22. Pretend you're doing the traffic report from a helicopter
23. Pretend you are a helicopter
24. Write a suicide note, randomly pick a car, give the note to the driver and then lie in front of their car
25. Snore
26. Pretend you're the commentator from your favourite sporting event from history
27. Sit calmly in your car and then act as if the car's been rear-ended (throw yourself about in the car) and then abuse the guy behind you and complain about the damage
28. Practice your opera singing
29. Walk amongst the cars trying to make words starting with the letters on the number plates
30. If you have a mobile phone/car phone, find a vehicle with a phone number on it and dial that number
31. Walk through the cars and laugh at anyone driving cars such as Volvos, Goggomobiles, etc
32. Rewire your car stereo system
33. Rewire the neighbouring car's stereo system
34. Turn on the airconditioning to cool down the radiator (connect a pipe from the vent and make it blow on the radiator)
35. Get out of your car and run screaming from the giant alien spaceships that just began blowing up the nearby buidings
36. Turn off your air conditioning (if you have it!) and find another car that has it and share with the driver your theory of relativity
37. If you have a sunroof, shout "up periscope!" and stick your head through the sunroof, look around, shout "down periscope!" and sit back down
38. Drink plenty of fluids and then run through the cars asking each driver "can I use your toilet?"
39. Get out of your car, find a nearby phone booth, change into your superman costume and fly off into the sky
40. Ask each driver if they would like some bacon & eggs while they wait. If they say "yes", proceed to cook it on their engine block
41. Pick out a car, ask the driver if you can measure their steering wheel. Before they answer, put your steering wheel lock in their steering wheel, lock it and say "Hey, it's the same size as mine" and walk off
42. Try swapping adjacent cars' hubcaps over
43. Let the air out of the tyres of the car next to yours, breathing it in as it comes out. Then try and blow it back up again
44. Get in the car next to yours, fart, and get out
45. Headbutt the steering wheel, making sure the horn honks each time
46. Using any object that even closely resembles a microphone, start interviewing the other drivers about an imaginary crime
47. Pretend you're filming the new Lethal Weapon movie (it helps to have your own Uzi)
48. Pretend you're filming the Basic Instinct sequel (eg run naked through the cars carrying an ice pick)
49. Rotate your tyres so they get even wear
50. Flick peas in to your neighbour's car by rolling them from the sunroof down the windscreen on to your windscreen wipers. Use both wipers for multifire
51. Flick your headlights on & off indicating you wish to overtake the car in front
52. Get everyone to floor the accelerator while in neutral and give a prize to the person whose engine lasts longest
53. Pretend you're driving a monster truck and attempt to drive over all the cars in front of you.
54. Hitch a ride with a passing snail
55. See how many other cars your keys will unlock/start
56. Swap number plates with the car in front
57. If there is a limo nearby, do a blowfish on one of the windows
58. If there is a limo nearby, ask them if you can watch TV with them. If they decline, refer to the previous item and then bend their TV antenna
59. Find a car with an identification ball on the aerial (the one's the owners use to find their car) and take it off and put it on an identical car
60. Pick a fight with another driver, when he gets out of his car, lock the door, close it and run
61. Approach the driver of a sedan, ask them to open their boot. When they do, mumble something about not paying for the drive-ins and jump in their boot and close it
62. Find some people having a domestic argument, watch them until they are finished, applaud, tell them how enjoyable watching them was and then go back to your car and try to re-enact it
63. Stand next to the engine and use one of the spark plugs to try and ignite a fart
Author : A Clark

[shyHeidi]

Just wondered if anybody here or anybody you know has ever done one of the things listed on this thread...

[Zelda]

I have done or know of ppl ho have done no 2 & 6 in Catladys list

[Scaramouche]

Heidi,

well when my friends and i are stuck in traffic everyone but the driver runs around the car like mad and then hops back in when the light turns green eventually. oh the beauty of chinese fire drills <img src="graemlins/dunce.gif" border="0" alt="[Dunce]" />

[Methix]

[quote]Originally posted by Scaramouche:
<strong>Heidi,

well when my friends and i are stuck in traffic everyone but the driver runs around the car like mad and then hops back in when the light turns green eventually. oh the beauty of chinese fire drills <img src="graemlins/dunce.gif" border="0" alt="[Dunce]" /> </strong><hr></blockquote>

Ever seen a chinese fire drill on motorcycles? That's funny!! Everyone jumps off, runs around, when the light turns green, just jump on whoever's random bike is next to you and continue on to the next light.

[Scaramouche]

Methix,

Never but I like the sound of it! I can just see it now though, two bikers dashing madly around the bikes with dark visers (visors? that stupid face shield! you know) not paying attention and running BAM! right into each other. Talk about a mess once the light turns green!

[shyHeidi]

HAHAA.. Mm, sounds entertaining... I wonder if I could get the people on the bus to do that... I don't suppose the driver would let us out though.

[Catlady]

I've created a monster! LOL everyone.
I have done #15 before if you replace The Flinstones, with Highlander. I haven't ever made up a language although I have been known to switch to German in mid conversation to annoy my (non-German speaking) relatives. I wish I had the guts to try telling someone I had other plans when they told me to have a nice day. As a matter of fact that's why I never used the phrase when I worked in a call center.

[ladybug]

Just for fencers!!!

1)Insist on "testing" before every bout even when fencing dry - (hit your opponant and say "BZZZ")

2)Scream and pump your fist in the air after you clearly miss your attack.

3)Acknowledge a touch when your opponant is nowhere near you.

4)As a director make every call ridiculously wrong (not recognizing clear attacks etc.) and see how long it takes someone to say something.

5)When directing mess with the fencers minds by saying things like "Ready -FFFFFudge" or "Ready FFFFrank", then reprimand them for starting early.

6) After the halt moonwalk back to the enguarde line.

7) Develop a complicated (6 action or more) salute.

8) Ask the score after every single touch.

9) Men only - Request a halt to adjust your cup, then start to drop your knickers on the strip.

[Pa55w0rd]

5)When directing mess with the fencers minds by saying things like "Ready -FFFFFudge" or "Ready FFFFrank", then reprimand them for starting early.


Oh yeah i can imagine that..... (have to get the instructor with this one)


<a href="http://www.skiptonfencingclub.org.uk" target="_blank">www.skiptonfencingclub.org.uk</a>

[MHS Fencer]

Moonwalking is just asking for you to be slapped. That said, it's still a lot of fun to do (but not every touch).

[The Crazy Wacker]

[quote]Originally posted by Haze:
<strong>on a similar note, I got this in an email:

---------------------

Subject: Fun Things To Do In An Elevator
Date: Tue, 20 Nov 2001 12:38:14 -0000

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"

---------------------

I don't take any responsibility for consequences if you try any of these. And yes, I am stressed.
</strong><hr></blockquote>

I have seen a list like this before... actualy i have seen them for wal-mart, malls, pools, ect.

For an eleveator...
1) Sell girl scout cookies

2) Dress up in an elevator technichian suite, and mutter to yourself when lots of people are on, "I sure hope i fixed it this time!"

3) Cary a large bag and when there are more than 5 people on, say: "Can anyone disarm a bomb in less than thirty seconds?"

Stuff for wal-mart:

1) go up to an employee (preferably male) with your legs squeezed and scream "QUICK!! WHERES THE TAMPONS??"
2) switch the bathroom signs
3) leave a trail of orange juice leading to the bathroom
4) (if your a guy) try on a bra over your cloths, and ask a male employee if they match your eye color.
5) go up to a couple and flirt with the girl, when she shows no intrest, flirt with the guy.
6) two words "Marco Polo"

Pool Activities:
1) get a large floatie
2) hit people with your large floatie
3) go on the high dive, and yell to everyone, "I won't come down until my demands are met!!"

This is just an example of some of them

[135711]

okay, I had a scene I wanted to play out, but I needed the cooperation of a fellow worker. He had offered me $40,000 just for the heck of it, while I was recuperating, I, sadly turned down the offer, It must have been the anthethsia still wearing off. A few moments ago, on a whim, I called him. "K...s?" I hissed into the phone,"I want $40,000" he sort of chocked on his spagetti, and I explained "I want to do something with it, it's good I swear", he spoke through his spagetti, "no".
I did the redecorating thing for a while, but it's too time consuming, right now for stress I polish the floors, comet the bathroom tiles, and hang laundry up on the sideporch.
I really like the idea of sending the baby to preschool with backwards clothing. HEY WAIT: CATLADY, you jogged a memory for me: my mother: okay here goes: i am 3 1/2 years old (about) i made a big decision With my sister to run away from home, my mother hears the decision, she says: 'can I help?' I agree, "yes you can", she says, okay, you will need a stick and a big handkerchief, she tied all my special toys in the handkerchief and tied it to the stick, and instructed me to walk with the stick over my shoulder. I realized she meant it. I started walking, walking.... the street loomed in front of me the sidewalk endless, I got 2 houses away from mine and turned around and went back home. That's my story. Thank's catlady, that was a good memory jogger.

[ 04-16-2002: Message edited by: 135711 ]</p>