Negative coaching

[Allen Evans]

Is it important for a fencer to LIKE fencing or is it more important that they simply DO fencing with diligence? Is the only reason we want them to LIKE fencing because they are more likely to be diligent about its practice?

Some people LIKE to fence. Some people HAVE to fence.

Allen

[jBirch]

You would know.

Yes dear.

James.

[ampersand]

why is it that some fencers are almost more worried about pleasing their coaches than doing well for themselves? Also, is it a good attitude or a bad one?

My first coach and I had a very... interesting relationship. I would call it dysfunctional, but if the goal is to make me a successful fencer, it fulfilled its function. A large part of that dynamic was negative criticism and very high expectations. We were both responsible for setting the bar high and I knew that he invested more time in me than other students. This made me want to do well - for him more than me. I didn't like losing. But I hated having to disappoint him. It worked from a results-standpoint, but I didn't enjoy the process much.
I now have a fantastic partnership with my current coach. As others have pointed out, age makes a difference. At 29, I relate much differently to any coach than I did at 19. But the process is much different. Much more enjoyable. While I know he wants me to succeed, I also know it's because he wants it for me, not for him. If I don't fence up to my ability, we talk about it. And he relates his own experiences and struggles (many of which parallel mine). And then we go back to work.

[umbrella]

Negative reinforcement is a tactic used by many people. It was used by the Nazi's to gain cooperation and the French were nearly defeated were it not for the endlessly positive and cheerful british.

Over the long run, studies show that there is longetivity invested in reinforcing students with positive feedbacks, especially when an instructor is working with young children or young adults. Meaning: search for a better coach, and you'll end up fencing for a longer period of time.

The reason we see so many dysfunctional adults is simply because adults seem almost unable to divest themselves of their own dysfunctions, heaping their jealous natures on the nearby listener. Unable to formulate normal relationships with peers they foster unhealthy alliances with young teenagers. I feel especially sorry for young women who start to fence in bad salles, as they often become overweight, unhappy women who fail to form normal relationships with men. If there were more female coaches things may be different for fencing.