Out of the mouths of babes.....

[IHateMrPotatohead]

This thread will probably die a quick death, but I thought it was so funny, I had to share.

I had some houseguests this weekend, and was trying to get a count of how many people wanted tea, and how many wanted coffee with their breakfast. One of my guests was chatting about this simple math problem with my 5 year old. He asked my son, "What does mommy want to drink?"
My child replied, "Mommy likes to drink wine.......and coffee!" Oh the things kids notice.....

Anyway, I thought it might be fun to share the funny things you've heard kids say.

[gtmac]

While at a friend's house we were talking about nothing important when somebody decided to overshare about something personal. Of course somebody declared the requisite "TMI" (too much information). My friend's then 6 year old was learning to spell, but clearly still needed some work. He very innocently asked "Time?".

[D'Art]

At work, we have one of those grabbit-type machines, where you put your cash in and try and grab a prize. I was walking past it, and there was a man playing it, obviously trying to win a prize "for the wee yin". The guy had obviously been there a while, as one of his boys asked "You're not very good at this, are you daddy?"

I almost dropped two armfuls of plates laughing.

[Windsetter]

My two year old woke up early one morning and neither my wife nor I wanted to get up so we brought her in to our room. My wife left to use the restroom and my daughter grabbed the refillable mug that my wife puts icewater in, and tried to get a drink. In the process she spills water all over my wifes side of the bed.
My wife came back in and I looked at my daughter and said "you better tell mommy what happened..."
Getting a huge grin, my daughter pointed to the bed and said her favorite word, "dada"

[swordwench]

Playing a bingo-like game with my 4-year-old last night. We're down the the last call, and either one of us can win. Unfortunately, we both need the same thing to win. The thing comes up - we look at each other and hesitate - then she calls it. And hands it to me. I say, no, go ahead - I'll beat you next time. Her answer: "C'mon, Mom - stand up for yourself!"

Where did THAT come from?

[parrythis]

A long time ago, when my younger son was about 3 or 4 years old, we used to read him a bedtime story every night. It was one of the most important parts of the day. Being so important, the loss of this privilege for some misdeed was considered to be the ultimate punishment.

One night we told our son that it was bedtime. He was busy doing something and did not want to go to bed yet. No matter how hard he tried to persuade us to let him stay up a little longer, we held firm and insisted that he go to bed immediately. After a few minutes of arguing unsuccessfully with us he was so angry that he stomped up the stairs, crying as he went, and proceeded to blockade his door by piling up every toy in his room in the doorway. He then yelled downstairs in his angriest, sternest voice, "YOU'RE NOT READING MY STORY TONIGHT!!!" and he went to bed.

My wife and I looked at each other and laughed and I said, "Well... I guess he told US off, didn't he?"

[Nicksmom]

On morning 1/1/05, Nick and Rachel were in the basement playing, when Rachel lets out a blood curddling scream. Nick threw a toy helicopter and hit her in the mouth, splitting her lip wide open. So, on the way to the hospital for stitches I asked him if he didn't have some thing to his sister..(hoping for I'm sorry)...he said "Yes, why didn't you duck?" was all I could do to keep a straight face.

[Have At You]

Overheard a toddler boy in the park yesterday shout "ooh, look! It's the invisible man!"

Made me laugh very loudly. Couldn't help it.

[Got_Fenced_In]

Mm, once, several years ago, my brother, three at the time, was found all alone in the kitchen, digging through the refrigerator. When asked what he was doing, he told me, "I'm bored." So I said, "You're bored. Do you know what bored even means? I don't think you do." He said he didn't, and I explained it to him. He thought about it for a minute, before saying, "My mouth is bored."

[Nicksmom]

Nick told me the other day that "Leonardo, painted the Moaning Lisa, you know, Leonardo, not the Titanic guy, the turtle" and "it's a muesum called the LUE"

[Go? Fencing?]

*shrugs* The Turtle was named after the artist.

Side note- Before starting my university classes here in Paris, we had to take methodology classes. For my art history methodology class, upon hearing that a student had studied Italian Renaissance art, the professor asked the student to name an artist from that period who was not Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, or Raphael- I wanted so much to jump in and say "Donatello! The other Ninja Turtle!"

[Windsetter]

G?F? I think they mean babes as in small children, not french college girls.

A lesson in watching what is said around children came to us a couple months ago. My two year old wanted to watch a Disney DVD while we were visiting grandpa and grandma. Well, grandpa put the DVD in and started skipping tracks past the previews. He accidently hit the stop button, restarting the previews. My daughter gets this pleading look, and upon seeing it he says, "Sorry honey, I am just trying to get past all this crap." For the next 30 minutes my daughter chanted the word "crap". (sometimes at the top of her lungs)

[TBean]

My son, back when he was smaller (three or so) often liked to take off his clothes. This was not a battle I was going to fight. So one day I was walking past his room and he was naked and "reading" a book outloud. I looked in and asked was he reading his book to Rudy, his favorite stuffed dog, he replied "No, I'm reading to my penis."

Who knew - the secret is reading to it. My sides hurt I was laughing so hard.

[Zilverzmurfen]

I was about 9 and my younger brother 6. Mum called us in for dinner and had made baked potatoes with the meat. Now this was back in the late 70's and we were brought up on boiled potatoes -- occassionaly pasta --so this was the first time my brother had even seen a baked potato.

Brother: "What's this?"
Mum: "It's baked potatoes."
Brother: "...you baked these..?"
Mum: "Yes, in the oven."
Brother: (Very puzzled look on face) "But...I don't get it...how did you get the skins on..?"

[Go? Fencing?]

G?F? I think they mean babes as in small children, not french college girls.

My boyfriend says I'm a babe.

[Nicksmom]

My boyfriend says I'm a babe.

I think that should be under the Hottie Fencer thread

[Nolano]

Out of the mouths of babes... comes... something good.

Dilbert

[Windsetter]

On Saturday morning, I had just finished getting my three year old dressed, and while I was picking up her pajamas, she had walked to the door of her room and was looking back at me, smiling the mischievious smile of a 3 year old. I started crawling towards her quickly and she screamed and started running. Seeing her 19 month old sister down the hall she yells, "Ah. Monster.... Zoe run!!!"

[Windsetter]

This one was quite a few months ago. My 19 month old was about 14 months old at the time(?) My wife, me, and some friends were playing a board game on table and 14 month old walks over to my wife, whom is eating a Mint Milano cookie. She starts jumping up and down like she wants something. I tell my wife "she probably wants the cookie."
My wife looks down and replys to me, "How do you know that is what she wants?"
Before I could respond, my daughter's hand goes towards the cookie and she yells "Gookie!!!" (not being able to pronounce C's at that time)

[swordwench]

One dinnertime last year, when my daughter was 7, I requested that she try to eat a bit more like a human. She responded in an eerily deep monotone, "Do not cite the deep magic to me, witch. I was there when it was written."

OK, so maybe that kid's watched "Chronicles of Narnia" one too many times?