Dear Fencing Vendors,
There seems to be a problem with epee masks and uniforms. A large majority of epeeists can't seem to locate a decent kit that fits. They are constantly having to hike up their knickers (woah!) and adjust their mask WHILE FENCING. Yes, I've seen the occasional foilst do this, but it can be attributed to merely ordering the wrong size uniform; but with the magnitude the epeeists need to adjust on strip one can only come to the conclusion that there is a problem in the manufacturing...
P.S. This is "letter" is NOT intended to be taken seriously, but rather as a farce to get across a humorous observation I made today at a tournament.