08-15-2006, 10:46 PM
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#1 | | Just Joined
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 8
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Last edited by southernsword; 08-17-2006 at 02:04 AM.
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08-16-2006, 12:38 AM
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#2 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: NJ, USA
Posts: 991
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Originally Posted by southernsword As you think about your fencing career and those fencing related acquaintances, friends and club mates, what is more important to you when these relationships collide or conflict? What guides your choices? When is it time to leave fencing? | I don't understand your question. When what conflicts with what? |
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08-16-2006, 12:50 AM
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#3 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 4,860
| Priority list:
1) Fencing
2) School/Girlfriend
3) Everything else |
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08-16-2006, 01:06 AM
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#4 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Amherst, MA and Franklin, MA
Posts: 2,486
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Originally Posted by telkanuru Priority list:
1) Fencing
2) School/Girlfriend
3) Everything else | ummm i think school goes to last on the list for you....
and I don't really understand the question either.
__________________
-Kevin
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08-16-2006, 02:41 AM
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#5 | | Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 10,177
| Heh. I definitely put school last my senior year of college, and it showed. Still, 2 majors out of 3 ain't too bad.
I agree that the original question is unclear. I came into this thread expecting it to be about the conflict between a career WITH fencing, and was going to note that enough vacation time to attend NACs is on my list of job requirements. |
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08-16-2006, 03:47 AM
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#6 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Paris, France
Posts: 1,099
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Originally Posted by KD5MDK Heh. I definitely put school last my senior year of college, and it showed. Still, 2 majors out of 3 ain't too bad.
I agree that the original question is unclear. I came into this thread expecting it to be about the conflict between a career WITH fencing, and was going to note that enough vacation time to attend NACs is on my list of job requirements. | I thought you were younger than that. Anyway, fencing takes priority over everything.
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Ich steige ab, Hab keine Zeit, Muss jetzt zu den anderen Pferden, Wollen auch geritten werden
C'est pas la chute, c'est l'atterrissage.
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08-16-2006, 03:50 AM
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#7 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Jyväskylä
Posts: 3,886
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Originally Posted by rcmatthews I thought you were younger than that. Anyway, fencing takes priority over everything. | Stupid idiot...
Maybe it's time you let crazy Uncle Wally finally have his way with you ....
__________________ Quit touchin' me, ya freak
F.Net Rule #1: E. L. E. (everybody love everybody) |
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08-16-2006, 05:03 AM
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#8 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
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Originally Posted by Mr Epee Stupid idiot... | -5 pts Tautological.
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Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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08-16-2006, 05:51 AM
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#9 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: ??FC ~)---------- San Francisco, CA
Posts: 2,291
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Originally Posted by Inquartata -5 pts Tautological. | -5 pts, using large words that nobody knows
-10 pts, Gratuitous use of font color
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__________________ . "I don't mind being the smartest man in the world. I just wish it wasn't this one." - Ozymandias . |
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08-16-2006, 06:01 AM
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#10 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
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Originally Posted by OROD -5 pts, using large words that nobody knows
-10 pts, Gratuitous use of font color
. | -5 pts Obviously somebody knows them or they'd not be in the dictionary -10 pts For not knowing that all grading is traditionally done in red pencil 
__________________
Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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08-16-2006, 06:17 AM
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#11 | | Incorruptible
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NJ
Posts: 2,758
| Can we assume that posts start with a score of 100?
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Fencing T-shirts available at Off-The-Piste Wear **New designs** including f.net themed designs for easy recognition of fellow f.netters at tournaments!
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08-16-2006, 07:05 AM
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#12 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
| For most people.
D'Art's start at 60  , and Downunder's at 150 ( reflecting the superior knowledge he keeps telling us he has  ).
__________________
Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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08-16-2006, 11:06 AM
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#13 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 278
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by southernsword If you have personal goals that you have set for fencing, relationships, time, etc., sometimes those things get in the way of each other or conflict. Perhaps fencing is enjoyable for one reason, but as relationships are strained (could be any of a variety of reasons) or time is consumed or your enjoyment is decreased for some reason...how do you decide which way to go? | The best solution to avoid conflicts is to become a fencing coach as a career and marry one of your students  |
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08-16-2006, 01:54 PM
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#14 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Seattle
Posts: 1,353
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Originally Posted by Bayou Bum The best solution to avoid conflicts is to become a fencing coach as a career and marry one of your students  | I thought the goal was to avoid conflict... my wife constantly asks me for coaching, yet won't admit my fencing superiority - and heaven help us when we meet up in DEs... backhanded compliments are the best I can hope for for the next 2 days 
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"I cannot ensure success, I can only endeavor to deserve it" - Capt. John Paul Jones
Last edited by RoninX; 08-17-2006 at 12:18 PM.
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08-16-2006, 04:19 PM
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#15 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Columbia, SC
Posts: 254
| I left competitive sport fencing about 7 years ago (still muck about occasionally with friends at it)
The biggest reason I left is that my interests shifted and I found an avenue that served them better.
The more research I did into swords and swordplay, the more frustrated I became with the rules and restrictions of the sport. After experimenting with several different groups and assosiations I found a historic european martial arts group that fit exactly what I was looking for. I have been with them ever since.
So for me it was a shift in attitude and interest in swordplay in general that got me off the competitive strip. |
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08-16-2006, 04:52 PM
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#16 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2003 Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,416
| Fencing, for me, is one way of how I spend time with my friends.
I'm not all that great at fencing. I mean, add a bunch of qualifiers in there (on the collegiate club scene, for people who have blah blah blah) and I don't SUCK, but if I were in it to win, I would have left a long time ago.
After I fence (and thus, spend time with people I like), I feel better. Part of it is the friends, part of it is the physical activity....
There are the things that I have to do:
School, work, familial commitments, etc.
Fencing is first on the list of things I choose to do, and sometimes on the list of things I have to do (like anything involved with my elected position on the team).
Also, there's this--- Some once said, about my coach, something along the lines of "Her lessons are better than food, and more fufilling".... very true.
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Visit my non-fencing blog, mostly about food, at Coset The Table!
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08-16-2006, 04:59 PM
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#17 | | Epee fencing addict
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Glenwood, ny
Posts: 2,301
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Originally Posted by southernsword Suppose we take the famous Franklin-Covey time management / mission statement (7 things successful people do) framework of thinking.... | OK, if we want to work within a Covey's 7 Habits framework...
In order to find fencing's place in our lives, we need to look to Habit #3 - Put First Things First®. That is, figure out where it lies in our personal priority structure. For me, fencing is more recreational and fitness oriented than anything. I have no plans to make fencing any part of my career, so it get's prioritized somewhere below work and family. Since many of my friends can be found in the local fencing community, it get's prioritized about equally with those friends. It is an important part of my fitness regimin and an activity that I enjoy, but it is not a mission-critical component of my life. I attend tournaments in order to measure my progress - not for medals or ratings - so attending any given tournament is an optional, and therefore enjoyable activity. I try not to put myself in a position in which I feel obligated to compete. That would take the fun out of it.
In order to resolve conflicts, we need to look to Habit #4 - Think Win-Win®. Note that win-win is not compromize. Win-win is a genuine attempt for both parties in the conflict to come out ahead. If, for example, your fencing activities create a conflict for your spouse or S.O., try to find an opportunity for your fencing activities to bring benefit to them. Try to understand what they are looking for and how their emotional bank account may be in deficit due to your fencing activities. Seek out ways to balance the emotional bank account without compromising your fencing. In my relationship with my wife I have tried to find activities that she can enjoy while I am off fencing. I have also tried to make sure that my wife get's a fair amount of my time to balance out the time that I take for myself for things like tournaments.
Is that the kind of discussion you're looking for?
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One test is worth a thousand opinions. I ain't as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was. - Toby Keith "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo |
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08-16-2006, 09:03 PM
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#18 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Borings-ville
Posts: 223
| Priority list
1. God
2. Fencing
3. Family
4. Friends
5. School
6. Work
7. Art
If i have issues with people in the club, I just deal with it by either telling them i'm sorry if i did something to offend them, scare them away (death threats usually work) or just ignore them and fence. I've discovered that just about every relationship on the rocks can be mended by saying you're sorry, and just plain ol' being nice. No bad friendship is enough to make me leave fencing. If it's really that big of an issue, just change clubs.
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Life sucks. Get a helmet
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08-16-2006, 09:11 PM
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#19 | | Member
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Roaming
Posts: 76
| It's really hard to generalize. There are always exceptions and the magnitude of importance for different events always varies. But to try and generalize, I usually put school and family above fencing. And since all my close friends are fencers they fall into the fencing category. Everything else then follows.
__________________  "Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs." |
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08-17-2006, 04:13 AM
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#20 | | Yes We Did
Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 2,160
| What's with the deletion? |
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