 5Likes -
Senior Member
Array 
The Thread of Atrocious Advice Okay, post a question asking for advice, and then the next person to post must give BAD advice, and then post another question for the next person. The more creative, the better.
I want a Sabre mask but I can't afford one. How do I go about procuring funds for this purchase? Tell me, o atrocious advisors!
-
Senior Member
Array 
 Originally Posted by cornflower I want a Sabre mask but I can't afford one. How do I go about procuring funds for this purchase? Tell me, o atrocious advisors! You really dont need a mask, just hold your hand in front of your face while you're fencing. But, if you do insist on buying a mask, you can make money by pimping out your children. They have fun, you make money, everybody wins!
Q: I'm getting carpal tunnel from posting on F.Net all day, and I'm afraid it'll start affecting my fencing. What would you advice?
. .
"I've been ionized, but I'm okay now." - Buckaroo Banzai
.
-
Senior Member
Array 
A salve of crushed garlic, mint and pig dung, applied at least three times a day (four, if you live near the ocean), should help reduce the number of people who will fence you, thus eliminating some of your discomfort. Rub the concoction on the offending arm as well as the back of your neck, groin and both knees.
My boss is hitting on me, not-so-subtly suggesting I can get a hefty raise if I go on a very special date with him. Suggestions? "Why do you say this to me, when you know I will kill you for it?" - Zod
-
Senior Member
Array 
Go on a date with him, get a raise, make a sex tape (make sure you edit the tape and say no a lot), and then press charges and send him to jail after you sue him and get millions of dollars from the company.
How do you make a girl fall in love with you?
Last edited by Black Jeebus; 08-15-2006 at 08:30 PM.
Hello.
-
Senior Member
Array 
If you're a complete zero, but have access to drug dealers, slip her a dose of flunitrazepam ("roofie") and her mind will be free of any prejudices she had against you.
If the girl is me, shower her with money and jewelry. She's very materialistic, you know.
How do you make a guy fall in love with you?
Last edited by poor_nizzie; 08-15-2006 at 09:08 PM.
"Bleeker's mom was possibly attractive once, but now she looks like a Hobbit. You know, the fat one, that was in the Goonies." -Juno MacGuff
-
Senior Member
Array
Go ask a gay man for advice about eating hotdogs.
How do you hide a body so the cops don't find it?
-
Senior Member
Array 
Marinate and roast according to taste.
There are seemingly more and more silly games on F.net, and the worst part is, I find it funny and I participate, is this bad?  Characteristically, I had been trying too hard, and remembered again that wonderful piece of advice given by a French thinker: Trouve avante de chercher--Valery, it was. Or maybe it was Picasso. There are times when the most practical thing to do is to lie down.
-
Senior Member
Array 
Extremely. But luckily, you have noticed the disease before the true effects take place, such as red, sore eyes, from staying up late posting, finger cramps from writing numerous posts and a tendency to respond to any internet or other poll with "This poll is flawed." For treatment, immediately have a doctor examine you and he/she will provide a few possible treatments. Warning: the disease Gamethreaditis is very contagious and seems to circulate around members of f.net.
How do I convince my mother that fencing is not potentially life-threatening? Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it.- William Shakespeare, fencer
It's a men's world. That's why the world is messed up.
-
Senior Member
Array 
Wear your fencing jacket, and tell your mom to hit you with an epee as hard as she can. And then say, "See! I'm still alive!"
How should we recruit new fencers to the fencing club? A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
-
Senior Member
Array 
We find that standing in the middle of the closest large church of whatever denomination happens to be biggest in your area, and offering at the top of your lungs to do a sword fighting demonstration immediately after the service you are attending brings in TONS of interested people. Especially if you do it during the boring part where the priest dude or chick is talking in some funny language that nobody really understands anyway. This can be really effective if you are wearing full ren fair or SCA type gear.
How do I get the voices to stop? "A well-instructed people alone can be permanently a free people" -- James Madison
"Error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it" -- Thomas Jefferson
-
Senior Member
Array
Scissors + eye + shove!
How can I impress a prospective employer during a job interview?
-
Senior Member
Array 
Shave your head and get a pentagram tattoo right in the middle of your forehead?
How do I catch the White Whale? Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
-
Posting Hound
Array 
Originally Posted by sabreur How do I catch the White Whale? You don't, it catches you.
What can I do to postpone the arrival of autumn? ( )
-
Senior Member
Array
Throw a wrench into the gears of time.
How can I learn to love the dark? Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
-
Posting Hound
Array
Originally Posted by sabreur How can I learn to love the dark? By switching to épée and joining the dark forces...you'll love it! 
How do I get to Greece the easiest way?
-
Senior Member
Array
Originally Posted by Zilverzmurfen How do I get to Greece the easiest way? Find Odysseus, and whatever direction he goes, go the opposite way!
What's the best way to clean my desk? Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
-
Senior Member
Array
Originally Posted by sabreur What's the best way to clean my desk? Leaf blower! Or, if you're serious about your cleaning, dynamite's the way to go! Really takes out those stuborn stains, you know?
Q: If my cat scratches up my sofa, what's the best way to train him to not do it anymore?
. .
"I've been ionized, but I'm okay now." - Buckaroo Banzai
.
-
Senior Member
Array 
The same way you clean your sabre jacket... don't!
How many foilists does it take to screw in a lightbulub? The pen may be mightier than the sword, but why pick just one?
-
Curmudgeon Emeritus
Array 
Originally Posted by TrainingDummy
How many foilists does it take to screw in a lightbulub?
Not really a request for advice, is it?
But in any case---none, because even the smallest of foilists is still too large to fit into a lightbulb, and in any event foilists are asexual. Thank goodness.
How do I make f.net stop logging me off in the middle of writing a lengthy post? ( Because I HATE that. ) Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
-
Senior Member
Array
Originally Posted by Inquartata How do I make f.net stop logging me off in the middle of writing a lengthy post? ( Because I HATE that. ) I always thought you screwed foilists into light fixtures pointy-end (head) first....
Answer to your question, which for anyone BUT you would be good advice, but because you are you and refuse to surrender, it is atrocious advice:
GET A NEW COMPUTER!
How would one get Inq to listen to him/her? Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
Similar Threads -
By parrythis in forum Game Threads
Replies: 5992
Last Post: 02-08-2012, 03:00 PM -
By Nach0o in forum Fencing Discussion
Replies: 4
Last Post: 04-20-2006, 08:49 AM -
By JMcC in forum Water Cooler
Replies: 62
Last Post: 04-10-2006, 10:56 PM -
By DE_Strip_Tease in forum Fencing Discussion
Replies: 7
Last Post: 10-24-2005, 02:15 PM -
By Shwa in forum Discussion Archive
Replies: 2
Last Post: 07-21-2002, 08:29 AM Tags for this Thread 
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts
Forum Rules |
Reply With Quote
