06-30-2007, 11:37 AM
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#1921 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Melbourne, North Korea
Posts: 305
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Originally Posted by Inquartata  How do I get the English out of Miami? | Hold a soccer riot in Atlanta, and hope the storm front doesn't pass over Miami. Er, I mean match sorry...
I've made desert, and it really doesn't go as well with my ice cream as I'd initially thought. It's just a bit too grainiy and hot for my liking. What should I make next time instead? | 
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06-30-2007, 11:31 PM
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#1922 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: redneckvill Oklahoma
Posts: 3,536
| Rat ars.
I havn't eaten dinner yet, What should I eat?
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“That’s not seduction! That’s ‘I made pudding’!”~Fabrice~
"They were not as far as appearance goes, anything but two soldiers at opposite poles from each other, but first of all they were both artists"
~Eugenio Corti, The redhorse.~
Last edited by Sword Hobbit; 06-30-2007 at 11:33 PM.
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07-01-2007, 03:00 AM
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#1923 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 117
| A dinner composed of nothing but jelly beans. Actually, that's pretty good advice, Jelly beans rule.
I want a digital camcorder, but I can't afford it. How do I remedy this situation? | |
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07-01-2007, 10:27 PM
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#1924 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: redneckvill Oklahoma
Posts: 3,536
| kill a redneck and sell his liver.
I RALLY want to go to a concert with one of my friends, but can't get a ride. Have any help?
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“That’s not seduction! That’s ‘I made pudding’!”~Fabrice~
"They were not as far as appearance goes, anything but two soldiers at opposite poles from each other, but first of all they were both artists"
~Eugenio Corti, The redhorse.~ | |
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07-03-2007, 04:36 PM
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#1925 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Indiana, PA
Posts: 984
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Originally Posted by Sword Hobbit I RALLY want to go to a concert with one of my friends, but can't get a ride. Have any help? | Hitchhiking is always a good alternative when a person is out of regular transportation. I suggest that you go to the nearest highway and hold a sign saying "Fresh Meat needs ride to XXX Concert" This shold get a friendly trucker to stop and give you a lift right away.
My state government is refusing to sign a budget into law which may result in me being furloughed until they can pull their lazy rear ends back to the capitol. Any Ideas on how to extract my revenge on these scofflaws if I am indeed furloughed?
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"Delusions are often functional. A mother’s opinions about her children’s beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth. - Lazarus Long, Time enough for Love, Robert A. Heinlein
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07-05-2007, 01:35 PM
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#1926 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Over there -->
Posts: 3,873
| send them an envelope of all-purpose flour. it's all purpose! 
i'm home and the rest of my club is still at nationals. what should i do with my newfound free time? | |
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07-06-2007, 02:33 PM
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#1927 | | Member
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Davis, CA
Posts: 38
| Simply fence yourself in a very large mirror - you can hit as hard as you want, and it won't hurt a bit!
It's 103 degrees outside, and I'm worried my dog might be uncomfortable out there. How can I make him more comfy? | |
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07-08-2007, 08:52 PM
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#1928 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Over there -->
Posts: 3,873
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Originally Posted by mutantmoose It's 103 degrees outside, and I'm worried my dog might be uncomfortable out there. How can I make him more comfy? | go sit out there with him.
SFfencer is trying to figure out my true identity. What should I do to him if he finds me? | |
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07-09-2007, 12:35 AM
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#1929 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
| Marry him.
Somehow it always seems like my fencing bag contains more stuff on a return trip than it does when I go to a tournament, even though it doesn't. How can I get it all to fit?
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Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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07-09-2007, 09:06 AM
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#1930 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Over there -->
Posts: 3,873
| wear your uniform and mask and carry two or three weapons. when airport security asks, don't answer them and just keep walking.
which NACs should I go to next year? | |
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07-09-2007, 11:46 AM
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#1931 | | Boom!
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Canada
Posts: 5,925
| All of them. And to help bump up your rating, start a bunch of NACs of your own - there's got to be a guide for how to do that somewhere.
Should I get a dual-flush toilet for the bathroom?
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Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth. | |
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07-09-2007, 02:53 PM
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#1932 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Over there -->
Posts: 3,873
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Originally Posted by ThatReallyHurt Should I get a dual-flush toilet for the bathroom? | Toilets are too expensive. Buckets are cheaper.
I'm hungry. What should I eat? | |
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07-09-2007, 04:31 PM
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#1933 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Victoria, BC, Canada
Posts: 429
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Originally Posted by lefty_monster I'm hungry. What should I eat? | Remember these two fundamental facts: You are what you eat, and GIGO (garbage in, garbage out). So, to maintain your own true identity, you must add nothing new and take nothing away. Start with fingernails and hair and work up from there...
I have a callus the size of Luxembourg on the big toe of my back foot. Can I do anything about it?
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Robert Smith
http://members.shaw.ca/ubik/thread/
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07-09-2007, 08:15 PM
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#1934 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Over there -->
Posts: 3,873
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Originally Posted by Robert Smith I have a callus the size of Luxembourg on the big toe of my back foot. Can I do anything about it? | (You don't need a cure for the callus, my friend. You need a cure for that third foot!) 
Atrocious Advice: To cure a callus, use a knife to cut off the callus. To prevent it from reforming, walk across hot coals and razor blades, then soak your feet in vinegar. If necessary, repeat.
How should he now go about life in a wheelchair? | |
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07-09-2007, 08:36 PM
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#1935 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: redneckvill Oklahoma
Posts: 3,536
| start wheelchair drag race.
How can I convince the people in a group my family is in that next year on are camping trip instead of eating at this really bad chicken place we should drive the 7 hours and go to this really really good chicken place?
__________________
“That’s not seduction! That’s ‘I made pudding’!”~Fabrice~
"They were not as far as appearance goes, anything but two soldiers at opposite poles from each other, but first of all they were both artists"
~Eugenio Corti, The redhorse.~ | |
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07-09-2007, 09:14 PM
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#1936 | | Boom!
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Canada
Posts: 5,925
| Find out exactly what each chicken place uses in their menus, then feign an allergy to an ingredient that's used at the bad chicken place, but not at the good one.
I'm having trouble getting those little face masks to fit over my beard. What would you recommend?
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Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth. | |
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07-09-2007, 10:44 PM
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#1937 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: redneckvill Oklahoma
Posts: 3,536
| I assume you don't want to shave your beard, so just cut off you whole chin, no beard, no problem. of course that might make it so your mask is to small 
What should Thatreallyhurt do to make his now to small mask fit?
__________________
“That’s not seduction! That’s ‘I made pudding’!”~Fabrice~
"They were not as far as appearance goes, anything but two soldiers at opposite poles from each other, but first of all they were both artists"
~Eugenio Corti, The redhorse.~ | |
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07-12-2007, 06:41 AM
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#1938 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
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Originally Posted by Sword Hobbit What should Thatreallyhurt do to make his now to small mask fit? | Go and visit the Jivaro in the Amazon, and ask for their specialized assistance.
After a month, there is still no sign of my passport, on which I paid for "expedited processing" and was assured that I would have it in 2-3 weeks. How should I proceed?
__________________
Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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07-13-2007, 04:39 PM
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#1939 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Over there -->
Posts: 3,873
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Originally Posted by Inquartata After a month, there is still no sign of my passport, on which I paid for "expedited processing" and was assured that I would have it in 2-3 weeks. How should I proceed? | Resubmit the order 10,537,657,204.3 times. That's the magic number.
Where should Inq go with his new passport? | |
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07-13-2007, 04:48 PM
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#1940 | | the dark one
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: MA/NH line
Posts: 3,823
| He should go to Casablanca. For the waters.
What's the best way to capture that wily fisher (aka fishercat) that's terrorizing my neighborhood at night?
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"Let's see... take responsibility for my own life, or blame YOU? Ding ding ding ding ding! Blame you wins hands-down!" - Bowler Hat Guy, Meet the Robinsons | |
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