01-13-2007, 01:53 PM
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#1201 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 6,229
| Go along the roads beforehand and blowdry them until they thaw. Make sure to cover the roads you will not be driving on.
How do I get rid of a bad headache? | 
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01-13-2007, 01:56 PM
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#1202 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York, USA
Posts: 365
| Go to Walgreens and ask for 83 bottles of 60 mg tylenol (extra, extra strength). Go home, pour all contents from the 83 bottles in a boiler pot, add old gym socks, a headless snake, 5 cat paws, an old university physics textbook, and a broken bodycord of any weapon. Boil for 10 minutes and drink up.
How do I prevent the next atrocious advisor from giving me an atrocious advice?
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No one cares how long your epee is, and if it breaks you just get a new one. | |
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01-13-2007, 01:59 PM
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#1203 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,254
| post here as often as you can. the more you ask, the more chance there is that you will get a response worthy of your question.
i had to return to campus early for training. but there is a problem with my tab, that which lets me into my building. not the room, the building. the office responsible for such things will not be open until monday. what should i do?
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I am but mad by north-north west. When the wind is southerly i know a hawk from a handsaw. -Hamlet
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01-13-2007, 02:00 PM
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#1204 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 6,229
| As a friend of mine says, "A tourniquet to the neck." Find out the real location of the advisor, sneak up behind them, and bang. It's over.
EDIT: late! I suggest you call all office personnel on their home phones numerous times, especially while they're likely to be eating supper.
How do I avoid getting bitten by the zombies outside my door? | |
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01-13-2007, 03:06 PM
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#1205 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York, USA
Posts: 365
| Go outside immediately. This is reverse-psychology for the zombies. They'll have no idea what's happening. Trust me, just go right outside and shake their hands. If they have any.
What should I do if Godzilla attacks my house?
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No one cares how long your epee is, and if it breaks you just get a new one. | |
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01-13-2007, 04:35 PM
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#1206 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In the middle of an ellipsis named 'lemur catta'
Posts: 2,409
| Get in your car and drive as fast as you can to the nearest fall-out shelter, then wait for several years and come out to see if everything is back to normal.
My fencing club is having and open house tomorrow that I would like to go to but I'm not really feeling all to great, what should I do?
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Patent pending...
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01-14-2007, 09:57 AM
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#1207 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Over there -->
Posts: 3,873
| Go anyway and if you spread your disease, they will thank you for helping to strengthen their immune systems. You might want to set up a booth and sell contamination, even. Everyone will be in your debt.
(I posted this question on the question game, then realized that it fits much better here. heh heh.) How the hell do I get burned custard out of the bottom of my oven? | |
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01-14-2007, 10:06 AM
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#1208 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In the middle of an ellipsis named 'lemur catta'
Posts: 2,409
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Originally Posted by lefty_monster  (I posted this question on the question game, then realized that it fits much better here. heh heh.) How the hell do I get burned custard out of the bottom of my oven? | Well you could use the carbomb, but to be original and more humane; I'd say that you should go and steal a labratory monkey and then take him home and allow him to eat the custard. Then before he gets out, you close the door and turn the oven to 350 - 400 and let cook for 45 min.
I want to get my hands on a carbomb but I'm unsure how to, any help?
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Patent pending...
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01-14-2007, 10:08 AM
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#1209 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Over there -->
Posts: 3,873
| Yeah, just call the police and ask them. They know all about car bombs.
So what kind of sauce should i make to go with the monkey? Or will A-1 work just fine? | |
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01-14-2007, 10:16 AM
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#1210 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In the middle of an ellipsis named 'lemur catta'
Posts: 2,409
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Originally Posted by lefty_monster So what kind of sauce should i make to go with the monkey? Or will A-1 work just fine? | Make a combination of sauses! I prefer to use worcestershire mixed in with barbeque sause, and then 10 tbs of vanilla extract!  But you could make your own 'secret' recipe for Cooked Monkey!
I wonder how I should patent my cooked monkey recipe?
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Patent pending...
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01-14-2007, 01:07 PM
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#1211 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York, USA
Posts: 365
| Go to an environmental group, or Animal Rights activist groups. They'll have plenty of tips and suggestions.
I have a reading assignment due for school in 2 days. I have about 500 pages left to read. What should I do?
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No one cares how long your epee is, and if it breaks you just get a new one. | |
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01-14-2007, 01:13 PM
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#1212 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In the middle of an ellipsis named 'lemur catta'
Posts: 2,409
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Originally Posted by UnorthodoxEpeeist I have a reading assignment due for school in 2 days. I have about 500 pages left to read. What should I do? | Burn the book, then explain how you read Fahrenheit 451, and how you were deeply touched by it. If the assignment is in English then the teacher will most likely pardon you; if not then well at least you probably burned a really bad book.
I have to read stories by Raymond Carver for English; I still want to pass the class but I don't like reading the stories, help anyone?
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Patent pending...
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01-14-2007, 02:49 PM
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#1213 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
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Originally Posted by fences_like_a_lemur I have to read stories by Raymond Carver for English; I still want to pass the class but I don't like reading the stories, help anyone? | Inure yourself to them by reading Beowulf in Anglo-Saxon and perhaps some Tolstoy first. By the time you are finished your assignment will seem like a welcome treat in comparison.
How do I get my scalp to stop itching from the dry winter air?
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Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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01-14-2007, 04:56 PM
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#1214 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In the middle of an ellipsis named 'lemur catta'
Posts: 2,409
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Originally Posted by Inquartata How do I get my scalp to stop itching from the dry winter air? | Go find yourself a true hard-core Native American and piss him off. You will proptly get scalped and thus not have any problems with it being dry and itchy!
I want to read Beowulf in Ango-Saxon but I have two problems: 1.) I can only find the English translation, and 2.) I can't read Anglo-Saxon. What should I do?
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Patent pending...
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01-14-2007, 05:48 PM
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#1215 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Over there -->
Posts: 3,873
| Go back in time and ask Beowulf to tell you the story.
I'm at a low point in my fencing learning-curve. What should I do? | |
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01-14-2007, 06:09 PM
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#1216 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In the middle of an ellipsis named 'lemur catta'
Posts: 2,409
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Originally Posted by lefty_monster I'm at a low point in my fencing learning-curve. What should I do? | Turn your graph/diagram up-side-down so that the curve goes up and not down!
I was considering teaching myself Calculus III since I wasn't able to take it this quarter; does that sound like a good idea?
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Patent pending...
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01-14-2007, 09:06 PM
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#1217 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Over there -->
Posts: 3,873
| Yeah, anyone can do it! Combine the stuff you learned in I and II, and you have Calculus III. DUH.
I'm not sure about one of these myths that the mythbusters busted. Should I test it at home? | |
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01-14-2007, 09:10 PM
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#1218 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,050
| Absolutely! And always remember: You can never have too much explosives!
I want to add another course to my university load this term. What should I take?
__________________ The preceding post brought to you by Rabid Monk (TM).
Rabid Monk: informative, irreverent, interesting, random and downright odd posts, done with pride since 1983. | |
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01-14-2007, 09:17 PM
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#1219 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Over there -->
Posts: 3,873
| Klingon I, II and III, all at once.
How does one go about cutting the tang of a new blade? I left my saw somewhere and won't be able to get it until tomorrow night. | |
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01-14-2007, 09:17 PM
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#1220 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York, USA
Posts: 365
| You should take the course that best brings out your lazy side. Remember, if you get an A, that means you did 'awful.' If you can somehow manage to pull off an F, that means you did a 'fantastic' job!
I forgot the combination to one of my masterlocks. What should I do? I can't seem to find the combo...
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No one cares how long your epee is, and if it breaks you just get a new one. | |
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