08-17-2006, 06:31 PM
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#101 | | Question Game Queen
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Southern Canadia
Posts: 15,599
| Invite her in for a threesome.
I'm going to be away for four days next week. How can I make sure my plants don't die from lack of water? | 
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08-17-2006, 06:37 PM
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#102 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 7,100
| Freeze them in blocks of ice. 
What's the best way to stalk someone from across the country. 
__________________
If your hearts not in it, why bother? -Yours truly
Woman was created for our destruction, and it is from her we inherit all our miseries. - Aramis, from The Three Musketeers
All human wisdom is summed up in two words. Wait and Hope. http://www.bash.org/?23396 | |
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08-17-2006, 06:42 PM
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#103 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Tucson, AZ USA
Posts: 1,207
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by JackOfHearts What's the best way to stalk someone from across the country. | That should be easy! From all the way across the country they'll never hear you following them!
How do I stay in shape without all that bothersome working out?
__________________
Fail until you succeed!
Ka-riposte back atcha Purple!
Disgruntled Employee of the Month.
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08-17-2006, 06:50 PM
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#104 | | Question Game Queen
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Southern Canadia
Posts: 15,599
| Lots of plastic surgery.
How do I live through a two-hour (each way) car trip sandwiched between the window and my grandmother? | |
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08-17-2006, 06:51 PM
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#105 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 7,100
| Eat plenty of bean and cheese burritos the day before. Breakfast as well. They'll give you all the space you need. 
What's the best way to fix a DVD player that's skipping?
__________________
If your hearts not in it, why bother? -Yours truly
Woman was created for our destruction, and it is from her we inherit all our miseries. - Aramis, from The Three Musketeers
All human wisdom is summed up in two words. Wait and Hope. http://www.bash.org/?23396 | |
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08-17-2006, 06:55 PM
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#106 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 2,128
| Bark orders at it that skipping is for little nancyboys, and that it'll run if it knows what's good for itself.
What's the best way to explain to my roommate that I don't think we need bathmats?
__________________
"Bleeker's mom was possibly attractive once, but now she looks like a Hobbit. You know, the fat one, that was in the Goonies." -Juno MacGuff | |
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08-17-2006, 07:05 PM
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#107 | | Question Game Queen
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Southern Canadia
Posts: 15,599
| Say, "What do we need a bathmat for? Don't worry about standing above the germs, I pee in the shower anyway, so that gets it nice and clean."
What's the best way to sharpen my jackknives? | |
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08-17-2006, 08:31 PM
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#108 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,254
| electric clippers
how do i make the time go faster while i'm at work?
__________________
I am but mad by north-north west. When the wind is southerly i know a hawk from a handsaw. -Hamlet
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08-17-2006, 08:38 PM
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#109 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 7,100
| Stick a paperclip into an electric socket. After the initial shock wears off, you'll be out of work before you know it!
What's the best way to train a dog?
__________________
If your hearts not in it, why bother? -Yours truly
Woman was created for our destruction, and it is from her we inherit all our miseries. - Aramis, from The Three Musketeers
All human wisdom is summed up in two words. Wait and Hope. http://www.bash.org/?23396 | |
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08-17-2006, 08:57 PM
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#110 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,254
| shove sticks up his rear.
how should i got about stopping a small child from screaming?
__________________
I am but mad by north-north west. When the wind is southerly i know a hawk from a handsaw. -Hamlet
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08-17-2006, 09:35 PM
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#111 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Los Angeles/San Francisco
Posts: 2,005
| Put duck tape over his mouth. Duck tape seals everything!
How do I get better at fencing?
__________________
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
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08-17-2006, 09:40 PM
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#112 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2006 Location: Here
Posts: 2,122
| Shake it vigorously.
How do I get my husband to relinquish the remote?
__________________ Quote: |
Originally Posted by IHateMrPotatohead I can't think of anything to put down there! |  | |
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08-18-2006, 12:19 AM
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#113 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Los Angeles/San Francisco
Posts: 2,005
| Threaten to divorce. Guys will do anything.
How should I balance school work and fencing?
__________________
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
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08-18-2006, 12:25 AM
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#114 | | Question Game Queen
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Southern Canadia
Posts: 15,599
| With Sir Bedevere's largest scales.
How can I convince my friend that her internet almost-boyfriend is not going to start stalking her if he sees her on national television? | |
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08-18-2006, 12:55 AM
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#115 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Shenandoah Valley, VA
Posts: 380
| Tell her to make sure to get naked during her time on TV - that really turns men off, and he would never stalk her after that.
How do I fix the broken spacebar on my keyboard?
__________________
"A well-instructed people alone can be permanently a free people" -- James Madison
"Error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it" -- Thomas Jefferson | |
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08-18-2006, 01:06 AM
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#116 | | Question Game Queen
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Southern Canadia
Posts: 15,599
| Press the Caps Lock key an odd number of times, doesn't matter how many, as long as it's an odd number. Then pry off the spacebar, and type a tilde in place of the spaces.
My contacts have been acting up. What should I do to make them behave? | |
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08-18-2006, 04:26 AM
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#117 | | Immortal
Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Heidelberg, GE
Posts: 5,454
| Take them out, and bury them in a pile of dust bunnies. Then put them back in--they should feel fine...
OT: EWWWWW!
How can I avoid getting new, stronger reading glasses?
__________________
Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
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08-18-2006, 04:31 AM
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#118 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Long Island
Posts: 303
| Using copious amounts of ducktape, apply a magnifying glass to one eye. Then whenever you need to read something up close, close the other eye. If this is not plausible, consider getting longer arms so you can hold things further away.
I am going to be very sad when I start school and have no time for pleasure reading (fiction) how do I cope?
__________________ Characteristically, I had been trying too hard, and remembered again that wonderful piece of advice given by a French thinker: Trouve avante de chercher--Valery, it was. Or maybe it was Picasso. There are times when the most practical thing to do is to lie down. | |
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08-18-2006, 04:37 AM
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#119 | | Immortal
Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Heidelberg, GE
Posts: 5,454
| Blow off the assigned reading, and read what you want to. You'll fail, but you'll have fun.
How do I make love stay?
__________________
Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
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