11-24-2006, 05:21 PM
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#981 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: 40D 34' 7.046" N by 74D 26' 23.503" W
Posts: 765
| A braille T-Shirt.
How do I get a Playstation 3 for the holidays?
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Don't take life so seriously... You'll never live through it.
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11-26-2006, 12:18 AM
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#982 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: calgary,ab,canada
Posts: 2,418
| rent a uhaul, wait for the store to close and no one around then run the truck into the wall and grab the PS3..no one will notice, 
how can i get my coach to give me lessons for free? | |
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11-26-2006, 08:21 AM
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#983 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Fresno, California
Posts: 2,287
| Give him/her a bunch or hard liquor until the end result is them in a batman suit dancing with a moose head, or something else quite silly, being sure to record the entire event. Blackmail him/her with said tape. If the coach does not give in, send the tape to America's Funniest Home Videos and use the prize money to buy tons of lessons!
What's a good way to get your mind off of something so you can concentrate?
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"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it."
"Thought crime does not entail death: thought crime is death."
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11-26-2006, 01:14 PM
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#984 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
| Gin, gin and---er, no, I have a better idea...
Play that hanging game so popular with teens these days. Just until you pass out, of course. This will reboot your brain, you see.
Should I clean my house or do yard work when I get home from work today?
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Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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11-26-2006, 03:58 PM
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#985 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Los Angeles/San Francisco
Posts: 2,005
| Clean your house and move all the trash out to the yard.
New ink for my printer is just as expensive as getting the same but new printer with new ink in it. Should I just get new ink or get a new printer?
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A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
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11-26-2006, 05:16 PM
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#986 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
| Neither. You should just drill an inkwell in your back yard. Keep trying until you hit a gusher. Then you will have free ink.
What should I have for supper?
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Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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11-26-2006, 06:34 PM
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#987 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 858
| A piece of bread and some wine, but skip the ghoulish commentary...
(I've never heard a person actually say the word "supper" in a non-churchy context. Do people really say that? It's "dinner" around here.)
How do I calm a colicky baby?
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"What did I tell you about being stupid? You don't get a birthday this year."
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11-27-2006, 12:19 AM
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#988 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Fresno, California
Posts: 2,287
| Hyland colick tablets have always worked wonders for my family.
Alternatively...
3 words - Death... Metal... Lullaby.
Should I look into Airhitch?
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"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it."
"Thought crime does not entail death: thought crime is death."
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11-27-2006, 02:43 AM
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#989 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: DC & Vancouver
Posts: 2,068
| Quote:
Originally Posted by I_luv_saber  Hyland colick tablets have always worked wonders for my family.
Alternatively...
3 words - Death... Metal... Lullaby.
Should I look into Airhitch? | Go right ahead. While you're at it, why don't you give them all of your credit card numbers and personal information.
What shall I do about my raging diarrhea? | |
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11-27-2006, 07:29 AM
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#990 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Fresno, California
Posts: 2,287
| Practice lunging! Sure to fix your problem! (extra long lunges!)
What's a good way to fight fatigue from long flights?
__________________
"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it."
"Thought crime does not entail death: thought crime is death."
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11-27-2006, 08:48 AM
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#991 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Australia
Posts: 397
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Inquartata Pretend to be your alternate account, THUG. They'll admire that persona as much as you do, I am sure.  | Mate, if only I was THUG. I think that would just about make me the most awesome guy I've ever known. That man has inspired me to become the biggest white rapper since Weird Al. Quote: |
Originally Posted by I_luv_saber What's a good way to fight fatigue from long flights? | Using a gun. If you don't have a gun try a spear or a garlic.
I think my friends are trying to poison me with Thallium. What should i do? | |
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11-27-2006, 08:55 AM
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#992 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2003 Location: UK
Posts: 1,565
| Go back to Mother Russia and ask Putin to forgive you for defecting. EVerything will be fine.
I am just making/writing my christmas cards and have a deep fear I will forget someone important. How can I avoid such a faux pas?
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Louweasel
"I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from" [Eddie Izzard]
"she might not look like much, kid, but she's got it where it counts"
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11-27-2006, 09:01 AM
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#993 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Under the sea
Posts: 2,812
| Don't send any. That way you can legitimately say that you didn't forget them, you just ignored them.
How do I tidy the house without moving off my lazy butt?
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I AM the walrus
I'm not grumpy - I suffer from stupidity rage
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11-27-2006, 02:28 PM
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#994 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
| Divert a river through it, o King of Elis. I am too busy to come and do it for you again.
What shall I have for my midday repast?
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Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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11-27-2006, 02:38 PM
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#995 | | Question Game Queen
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Southern Canadia
Posts: 15,599
| Some nails washed down with brake fluid.
I need someone to write me a recommendation, but I basically need it today. How do I ask them to do it? | |
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11-28-2006, 12:15 PM
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#996 | | Perpetual Ephemerist
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,531
| Since it is now tomorrow, you can forget about it because you don't need it anymore.
How do I keep my cat from eating anything and everything that remotely resembles food on the kitchen counter? | |
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11-28-2006, 12:33 PM
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#997 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Passing you on the inside... vroom
Posts: 1,299
| Enclose your kitchen counter with a floor-to-ceiling web of razor wire. Cover the floor of your kitchen with loaded spring rat traps. Then stitch your cat's mouth shut, just to be safe.
How do I stop worrying and learn to love the bomb?
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Freedom of speech makes it easier to spot the idiots.
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11-28-2006, 02:53 PM
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#998 | | Perpetual Ephemerist
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,531
| Get a firm grip on your precious bodily fluids
What is the best way to eat half a country ham left over from Thanksgiving? | |
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11-28-2006, 05:04 PM
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#999 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,538
| Invite Mauler to dinner. Of course, he might eat you, too. And your pets. And your potted plants.
How do I avoid getting the stomach bug going around at work?
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Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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11-28-2006, 05:08 PM
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#1000 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2003 Location: UK
Posts: 1,565
| Go postal in your office with an automatic weapon.
How do I raise myself out of my current sad jaded mentally exhausted mood?
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Louweasel
"I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from" [Eddie Izzard]
"she might not look like much, kid, but she's got it where it counts"
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