08-17-2006, 03:24 AM
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#61 | | Immortal
Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Heidelberg, GE
Posts: 5,406
| Well, the cure is to play Russian Roulette with a revolver loaded with silver bullets.... 
How do I keep the bathtup drain unclogged when I'm shedding?
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Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
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08-17-2006, 05:20 AM
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#62 | | Épéeist Hive Queen
Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Sweden
Posts: 12,698
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Originally Posted by sabreur How do I keep the bathtup drain unclogged when I'm shedding? | Dear Mr. Shedder. The best thing is to get ahead of the problem before it gets to be a problem.
Get a trimmer and carefully shave your entire body. It's a good thing if you can time your shedding/shaving with springtime, the wildlife birds will have much use for your fur when nesting.
Alternatively, may I suggest Veet? 
How can I extend my holidays and not have to go back to work on Monday..?
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Fencing is my only PvP. | |
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08-17-2006, 05:24 AM
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#63 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: ??FC ~)---------- San Francisco, CA
Posts: 2,270
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Originally Posted by Zilverzmurfen Get a trimmer and carefully shave your entire body..... | Damnit, you beat me to it... I was just about to suggest the same thing.  Quote: |
Originally Posted by Zilverzmurfen How can I extend my holidays and not have to go back to work on Monday..? | Send your boss a note explaining what a jackass he is... and that you left him a "surprise" in his desk drawer.
Q: When I get pulled over by the cops, what's the best way to impress them and get out of a ticket?
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"I don't mind being the smartest man in the world. I just wish it wasn't this one." - Ozymandias
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08-17-2006, 06:14 AM
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#64 | | Immortal
Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Heidelberg, GE
Posts: 5,406
| Watch the Dave Chapelle skit about "How not to get beat up by the cops" and do the opposite....
What's the quickest way to the airport?
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Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
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08-17-2006, 07:39 AM
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#65 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Shenandoah Valley, VA
Posts: 380
| In a plane, of course.
What's the best way to paint a 10 story office building?
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"A well-instructed people alone can be permanently a free people" -- James Madison
"Error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it" -- Thomas Jefferson | |
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08-17-2006, 09:01 AM
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#66 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,164
| I warn you, this is going to be in very bad taste.
With a paint-filled 727.
How can DFP get a girl?
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Use the Shift key, people! Keyboard manufacturers everywhere are ineffably saddened when you ignore what they made just for you!
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08-17-2006, 09:11 AM
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#67 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2006 Location: Here
Posts: 2,121
| There's no advice for that. It's just impossible. Plastic surgery and a personality makeover maybe?
How can I clean my house faster?
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Originally Posted by IHateMrPotatohead I can't think of anything to put down there! |  | |
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08-17-2006, 09:39 AM
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#68 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,326
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Originally Posted by IHateMrPotatohead There's no advice for that. It's just impossible. Plastic surgery and a personality makeover maybe?
How can I clean my house faster? | Have you considered consuming large amounts of stimulant drugs? Hype yourself up on something speedy and the rest of the day will pass in a blur.
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I need to keep track of my daughter on her many, many dates. Best advice, please?
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"Why do you say this to me, when you know I will kill you for it?" - Zod | |
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08-17-2006, 09:45 AM
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#69 | | Immortal
Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Heidelberg, GE
Posts: 5,406
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Originally Posted by Sciurus-Rex I need to keep track of my daughter on her many, many dates. Best advice, please? | Microchip her. With a chip you can track by satellite.
How do you best balance a sabre?
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Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
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08-17-2006, 09:47 AM
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#70 | | Incorruptible
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NJ
Posts: 2,758
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Originally Posted by sabreur Microchip her. With a chip you can track by satellite.
How do you best balance a sabre? | Given the evil and vexing nature of saber, I'd say to place them on Sir Bedevere's largest scales with a duck on the other side. Either that or build a bridge out of it.
What do I tell airport security when they ask me what's in my fencing bag?
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Fencing T-shirts available at Off-The-Piste Wear **New designs** including f.net themed designs for easy recognition of fellow f.netters at tournaments!
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08-17-2006, 09:54 AM
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#71 | | Immortal
Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Heidelberg, GE
Posts: 5,406
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Originally Posted by gtmac What do I tell airport security when they ask me what's in my fencing bag? | Highly volatile liquids--they'll leave you alone then....
How can I get the weather to cool down?
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Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
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08-17-2006, 10:52 AM
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#72 | | Épéeist Hive Queen
Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Sweden
Posts: 12,698
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Originally Posted by sabreur How can I get the weather to cool down? | You can't, you need to travel north... 
How can I teach my budgies to do some household chores while I'm away at work/shopping/gaming/etc?
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Fencing is my only PvP. | |
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08-17-2006, 11:15 AM
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#73 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Tucson, AZ USA
Posts: 1,207
| Buy about 10,000 more and let them loose in your house. Just by random actions they should have your house spotless by the time you get home.
How can I pick the right 6 numbers for the lottery?
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Fail until you succeed!
Ka-riposte back atcha Purple!
Disgruntled Employee of the Month.
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08-17-2006, 11:15 AM
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#74 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,326
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Originally Posted by Zilverzmurfen How can I teach my budgies to do some household chores while I'm away at work/shopping/gaming/etc? | Oh, this is great! I was just talking to a professional budgie trainer the other day about this same topic!
It's a long process, but I'll try to outline it as simply as I can. (For more info, go to http://www.budgies.org/ ) What you have to do first is establish your primacy over the budgies and clarify your "alpha bird" status. The quickest way usually involves eating some of the bird feed first or physically bumping the other budgies away from the female during mating season. After that, they'll be ready to follow you anywhere and mimic your actions. So you'll want to start with simple processes, such as picking up lint off the floor (which they may use to make nests) or dropping dirty silverware in the sink. Budgies are surprisingly strong and dextrous, so don't be surprised to see them playing with your sheets, too, when you make your bed. After each task, you should put down a bit of bird seed, bread crumbs or a steak (medium-rare) as a reward treat. In about three weeks you'll start to notice the budgie "pack" performing these jobs on their own, reinforced by random food rewards and your praise (short whistles and humming Barry White tunes help).
If you notice the behaviors fading over time, you can either reinforce the training, or teach your cat to take over using the budgies themselves as reward.
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Ooops. I just ralizd that th lttr ' ' on my kyboard no longr works. What should I do?
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"Why do you say this to me, when you know I will kill you for it?" - Zod | |
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08-17-2006, 11:18 AM
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#75 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,219
| take a sharpie and write them on your computer screen as type your post.
how can i get along better with my roommate?
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I am but mad by north-north west. When the wind is southerly i know a hawk from a handsaw. -Hamlet
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08-17-2006, 12:05 PM
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#76 | | Épéeist Hive Queen
Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Sweden
Posts: 12,698
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Originally Posted by Zasha how can i get along better with my roommate? | Grab a hatchet and hack her/him in pieces. Dead (wo)men don't talk and will hence never disagree with you.
How can I bypass the 'you must spread some more rep around first blah blah blah'?
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Fencing is my only PvP. | |
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08-17-2006, 01:09 PM
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#77 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Tucson, AZ USA
Posts: 1,207
| Simple! Never give out any rep.
Since it wasn't answered before: How do I chose the correct 6 numbers for the lottery?
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Fail until you succeed!
Ka-riposte back atcha Purple!
Disgruntled Employee of the Month.
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08-17-2006, 02:30 PM
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#78 | | Epee fencing addict
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Glenwood, ny
Posts: 2,209
| Go to the local news stand and ask... (you have to be quite specific about this) for tomorrow's newspaper. Look up the lottery results from the previous day. Go buy a ticket for those numbers. WINNER!!!
How do I stop all that annoying pornography spam from coming to my e-mail inbox?
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One test is worth a thousand opinions.
I ain't as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was. - Toby Keith
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo | |
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08-17-2006, 02:37 PM
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#79 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Los Angeles/San Francisco
Posts: 2,005
| Open them, and click on links that you see which will lead you to their site. From there, try to find out how to unsubscribe.
What should I do to prepare for my next fencing tournament?
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A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
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08-17-2006, 02:43 PM
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#80 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Savannah, Ga
Posts: 6,029
| Doughnuts, lots and lots of doughnuts. Go live at Krispy Kreme for a few weeks, and once you can eat like three dozen doughnuts at one time, only then will you be ready.
What's a good way to let a girl know you like her?
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The gpa requirement for UGA Pharmacy is based solely upon those classes they require. What that means for me is in the eyes of UGA Pharmacy- I have a 4.0. Yes that's right- I freaking rock!
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