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Thread: The Thread of Atrocious Advice

  1. 09-02-2006 11:55 PM #401
    KelseyD
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    Bowl with your eyes closed.

    How do I get old men to stop being attracted to me?
    dT_Tb

    I'm a Romantic...


    Wha'd'ya know 'bout that?


    RASTAS
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  2. 09-03-2006 12:28 AM #402
    Zasha
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    take your brain and place it in the body of an old man. take his brain and put it in your body. see how he likes it.

    how can i learn my way around campus faster?
    I am but mad by north-north west. When the wind is southerly i know a hawk from a handsaw. -Hamlet
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  3. 09-03-2006 12:39 AM #403
    JackOfHearts
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    Rocket powered shopping carts. Most fun ride ever!


    What's the best way to find a new job?
    If your hearts not in it, why bother? -Yours truly
    http://fedoramocha.blogspot.com/
    "Honor is the cloak of thieves - Sometimes." -Raymond Chandler
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  4. 09-03-2006 12:53 AM #404
    akaiyuki
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    Pick your favorite company and then stalk the boss. Find out about his secrets so you can threaten, I mean, ask him nicely to give you a job offer. It will be a guarantee good pay.

    How can I convince someone to give me a ride?
    A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
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  5. 09-03-2006 12:58 AM #405
    Aqua_volans
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    You don't ask for a ride. You TAKE a ride. GTA style.


    How do i find a fluffy pink unicorn?(Don't ask what i intend to do. Its malicious)
    Signature unnecessary
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  6. 09-03-2006 06:41 AM #406
    sabreur
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    E-bay.

    Or you set a trap with a fluffy pink virgin....

    How do I stop the helicopter that is flying up and down the valley, making noise?
    Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
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  7. 09-03-2006 01:26 PM #407
    KelseyD
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    Shoot out!!!

    How do I avoid going to dates with creepy men?
    dT_Tb

    I'm a Romantic...


    Wha'd'ya know 'bout that?


    RASTAS
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  8. 09-03-2006 01:34 PM #408
    D'Art
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    Quote Originally Posted by KelseyD
    How do I avoid going to dates with creepy men?
    Go on dates with creepy women instead.

    How do I turn down the job offers I've recieved without pissing off the people who made them?
    The Stalwart Panda

    I'm not grumpy - I suffer from stupidity rage
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  9. 09-03-2006 04:18 PM #409
    Louweasel
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    Quote Originally Posted by D'Art
    Go on dates with creepy women instead.

    How do I turn down the job offers I've recieved without pissing off the people who made them?
    Don't open the letters; just write "DECEASED" on the envelope and return to sender.

    What should I do about my sprained thumb?
    Louweasel
    "I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from" [Eddie Izzard]

    "she might not look like much, kid, but she's got it where it counts"
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  10. 09-03-2006 04:30 PM #410
    sabreur
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louweasel
    What should I do about my sprained thumb?
    Ice it, and drink some single malt to kill the pain...

    Oh wait a second, this is supposed to be bad advice....

    Ignore it and go fence a bunch of ham-handed guys who will bang bells a lot--the additional shock will cause it to heal right up!

    What's the best (worst) way to get to the tournament in Aarhus next weekend?
    Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
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  11. 09-03-2006 04:38 PM #411
    Louweasel
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    Quote Originally Posted by sabreur

    What's the best (worst) way to get to the tournament in Aarhus next weekend?
    In a tardis.

    *slurps Bowmore Surf*

    I might have a date next week. What shall I wear?
    Louweasel
    "I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from" [Eddie Izzard]

    "she might not look like much, kid, but she's got it where it counts"
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  12. 09-03-2006 05:00 PM #412
    T. Mock
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    A plastic garbage bag because it's what is on the inside that counts.

    How can I cure my nausea?
    the force goes bam.
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  13. 09-03-2006 08:12 PM #413
    KelseyD
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    Wear a plastic trash bag. Just vommit into it when you need to.

    How do I find a job when I have no driver's lisence?
    dT_Tb

    I'm a Romantic...


    Wha'd'ya know 'bout that?


    RASTAS
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  14. 09-03-2006 10:15 PM #414
    akaiyuki
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    Get a fake driver's license. And while you're at it, make sure it says you're over 21.

    What should I do before my summer vacation is over?
    A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
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  15. 09-03-2006 10:17 PM #415
    KelseyD
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    Party Hardy Hehe.

    What should I do for Halloween?
    dT_Tb

    I'm a Romantic...


    Wha'd'ya know 'bout that?


    RASTAS
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  16. 09-04-2006 12:34 AM #416
    Sword Hobbit
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    Go to wall mart, buy 13 blue and green bras and cut them into 235,355 pieces.



    How can I talk to my crush without looking stupid?
    “That’s not seduction! That’s ‘I made pudding’!”~Fabrice~
    "They were not as far as appearance goes, anything but two soldiers at opposite poles from each other, but first of all they were both artists"
    ~Eugenio Corti, The redhorse.~
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  17. 09-04-2006 12:52 AM #417
    wheeringa
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    Wear a clown mask so they cant see your face.

    how should I change my unicycle tyre?
    Curse you evil Pots & Pans Man!
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  18. 09-04-2006 01:07 AM #418
    Katman
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    Stand another unicycle tire up and collide with it as fast as you can while riding the old unicycle. I've done this in video games all the time. It'll fix you right up.

    How should I trim my mustache?
    The solution to your problem is to fence another weapon.
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  19. 09-04-2006 01:45 AM #419
    The Chaotic Wind
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    get a nice fire started in your fire palce (or on your house) then put your face in it, let the fire decide the style.

    how do i walk around in the girls locker room without getting caught?
    "If you can't beat 'em, hurt 'em"
    The Chaotic Wind was here, are you with me?
    http://www.fencing.net/forums/thread29458.html
    Because we're cool like that.
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  20. 09-04-2006 01:51 AM #420
    JackOfHearts
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    Two words: Cardboard. Box. It's a classic!

    What's the best way to get to Texas?
    If your hearts not in it, why bother? -Yours truly
    http://fedoramocha.blogspot.com/
    "Honor is the cloak of thieves - Sometimes." -Raymond Chandler
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