09-03-2006, 12:55 AM
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#401 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 714
| Bowl with your eyes closed.
How do I get old men to stop being attracted to me?
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dT_Tb I'm a Romantic... Wha'd'ya know 'bout that? RASTAS |
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09-03-2006, 01:28 AM
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#402 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,254
| take your brain and place it in the body of an old man. take his brain and put it in your body. see how he likes it.
how can i learn my way around campus faster?
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I am but mad by north-north west. When the wind is southerly i know a hawk from a handsaw. -Hamlet
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09-03-2006, 01:39 AM
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#403 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 7,100
| Rocket powered shopping carts. Most fun ride ever!
What's the best way to find a new job?
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If your hearts not in it, why bother? -Yours truly
Woman was created for our destruction, and it is from her we inherit all our miseries. - Aramis, from The Three Musketeers
All human wisdom is summed up in two words. Wait and Hope. http://www.bash.org/?23396 |
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09-03-2006, 01:53 AM
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#404 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Los Angeles/San Francisco
Posts: 2,005
| Pick your favorite company and then stalk the boss. Find out about his secrets so you can threaten, I mean, ask him nicely to give you a job offer. It will be a guarantee good pay.
How can I convince someone to give me a ride?
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A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
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09-03-2006, 01:58 AM
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#405 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Singapore,
Posts: 478
| You don't ask for a ride. You TAKE a ride. GTA style.
How do i find a fluffy pink unicorn?(Don't ask what i intend to do. Its malicious)
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Signature unnecessary
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09-03-2006, 07:41 AM
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#406 | | Immortal
Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Heidelberg, GE
Posts: 5,454
| E-bay.
Or you set a trap with a fluffy pink virgin....
How do I stop the helicopter that is flying up and down the valley, making noise?
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Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
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09-03-2006, 02:26 PM
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#407 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 714
| Shoot out!!!
How do I avoid going to dates with creepy men?
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dT_Tb I'm a Romantic... Wha'd'ya know 'bout that? RASTAS |
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09-03-2006, 02:34 PM
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#408 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Under the sea
Posts: 2,812
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by KelseyD How do I avoid going to dates with creepy men? | Go on dates with creepy women instead.
How do I turn down the job offers I've recieved without pissing off the people who made them?
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I AM the walrus
I'm not grumpy - I suffer from stupidity rage
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09-03-2006, 05:18 PM
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#409 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2003 Location: UK
Posts: 1,565
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by D'Art Go on dates with creepy women instead.
How do I turn down the job offers I've recieved without pissing off the people who made them? | Don't open the letters; just write "DECEASED" on the envelope and return to sender.
What should I do about my sprained thumb?
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Louweasel
"I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from" [Eddie Izzard]
"she might not look like much, kid, but she's got it where it counts"
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09-03-2006, 05:30 PM
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#410 | | Immortal
Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Heidelberg, GE
Posts: 5,454
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Originally Posted by Louweasel What should I do about my sprained thumb? | Ice it, and drink some single malt to kill the pain...
Oh wait a second, this is supposed to be bad advice....
Ignore it and go fence a bunch of ham-handed guys who will bang bells a lot--the additional shock will cause it to heal right up!
What's the best (worst) way to get to the tournament in Aarhus next weekend?
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Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
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09-03-2006, 05:38 PM
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#411 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2003 Location: UK
Posts: 1,565
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by sabreur
What's the best (worst) way to get to the tournament in Aarhus next weekend? | In a tardis.
*slurps Bowmore Surf*
I might have a date next week. What shall I wear?
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Louweasel
"I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from" [Eddie Izzard]
"she might not look like much, kid, but she's got it where it counts"
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09-03-2006, 06:00 PM
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#412 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Milwaukee, WI & Evanston, IL
Posts: 129
| A plastic garbage bag because it's what is on the inside that counts.
How can I cure my nausea?
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the force goes bam.
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09-03-2006, 09:12 PM
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#413 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 714
| Wear a plastic trash bag. Just vommit into it when you need to.
How do I find a job when I have no driver's lisence?
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dT_Tb I'm a Romantic... Wha'd'ya know 'bout that? RASTAS |
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09-03-2006, 11:15 PM
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#414 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Los Angeles/San Francisco
Posts: 2,005
| Get a fake driver's license. And while you're at it, make sure it says you're over 21.
What should I do before my summer vacation is over?
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A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
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09-03-2006, 11:17 PM
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#415 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 714
| Party Hardy Hehe.
What should I do for Halloween?
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dT_Tb I'm a Romantic... Wha'd'ya know 'bout that? RASTAS |
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09-04-2006, 01:34 AM
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#416 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: redneckvill Oklahoma
Posts: 3,536
| Go to wall mart, buy 13 blue and green bras and cut them into 235,355 pieces.
How can I talk to my crush without looking stupid?
__________________ “That’s not seduction! That’s ‘I made pudding’!”~Fabrice~
"They were not as far as appearance goes, anything but two soldiers at opposite poles from each other, but first of all they were both artists"
~Eugenio Corti, The redhorse.~ |
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09-04-2006, 01:52 AM
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#417 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
Posts: 387
| Wear a clown mask so they cant see your face.
how should I change my unicycle tyre?
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Curse you evil Pots & Pans Man!
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09-04-2006, 02:07 AM
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#418 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Ithaca, NY
Posts: 1,012
| Stand another unicycle tire up and collide with it as fast as you can while riding the old unicycle. I've done this in video games all the time. It'll fix you right up.
How should I trim my mustache?
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The solution to your problem is to fence another weapon.
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09-04-2006, 02:45 AM
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#419 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: California
Posts: 968
| get a nice fire started in your fire palce (or on your house) then put your face in it, let the fire decide the style.
how do i walk around in the girls locker room without getting caught? |
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09-04-2006, 02:51 AM
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#420 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 7,100
| Two words: Cardboard. Box. It's a classic!
What's the best way to get to Texas?
__________________
If your hearts not in it, why bother? -Yours truly
Woman was created for our destruction, and it is from her we inherit all our miseries. - Aramis, from The Three Musketeers
All human wisdom is summed up in two words. Wait and Hope. http://www.bash.org/?23396 |
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