topleft topright

Page 21 of 216 FirstFirst ... 111718192021222324253171121 ... LastLast
Results 401 to 420 of 4303
Like Tree6Likes

Thread: The Thread of Atrocious Advice

  1. #401
    Senior Member Array KelseyD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    714
    Bowl with your eyes closed.

    How do I get old men to stop being attracted to me?
    dT_Tb

    I'm a Romantic...


    Wha'd'ya know 'bout that?


    RASTAS

  2. #402
    Senior Member Array Zasha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    1,307
    take your brain and place it in the body of an old man. take his brain and put it in your body. see how he likes it.

    how can i learn my way around campus faster?
    I am but mad by north-north west. When the wind is southerly i know a hawk from a handsaw. -Hamlet

  3. #403
    Senior Member Array JackOfHearts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    9,725
    Rocket powered shopping carts. Most fun ride ever!


    What's the best way to find a new job?
    If your hearts not in it, why bother? -Yours truly
    http://fedoramocha.blogspot.com/
    "Honor is the cloak of thieves - Sometimes." -Raymond Chandler

  4. #404
    Senior Member Array akaiyuki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Los Angeles/San Francisco
    Posts
    2,027
    Pick your favorite company and then stalk the boss. Find out about his secrets so you can threaten, I mean, ask him nicely to give you a job offer. It will be a guarantee good pay.

    How can I convince someone to give me a ride?
    A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

  5. #405
    Senior Member Array Aqua_volans's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Singapore,
    Posts
    478
    You don't ask for a ride. You TAKE a ride. GTA style.


    How do i find a fluffy pink unicorn?(Don't ask what i intend to do. Its malicious)
    Signature unnecessary

  6. #406
    Senior Member Array sabreur's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Heidelberg, GE
    Posts
    5,827
    Blog Entries
    153
    E-bay.

    Or you set a trap with a fluffy pink virgin....

    How do I stop the helicopter that is flying up and down the valley, making noise?
    Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.

  7. #407
    Senior Member Array KelseyD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    714
    Shoot out!!!

    How do I avoid going to dates with creepy men?
    dT_Tb

    I'm a Romantic...


    Wha'd'ya know 'bout that?


    RASTAS

  8. #408
    Senior Member Array D'Art's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    China, or alternatively, the zoo
    Posts
    3,770
    Blog Entries
    28
    Quote Originally Posted by KelseyD
    How do I avoid going to dates with creepy men?
    Go on dates with creepy women instead.

    How do I turn down the job offers I've recieved without pissing off the people who made them?
    The Stalwart Panda

    I'm not grumpy - I suffer from stupidity rage

  9. #409
    Senior Member Array Louweasel's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,573
    Quote Originally Posted by D'Art
    Go on dates with creepy women instead.

    How do I turn down the job offers I've recieved without pissing off the people who made them?
    Don't open the letters; just write "DECEASED" on the envelope and return to sender.

    What should I do about my sprained thumb?
    Louweasel
    "I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from" [Eddie Izzard]

    "she might not look like much, kid, but she's got it where it counts"

  10. #410
    Senior Member Array sabreur's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Heidelberg, GE
    Posts
    5,827
    Blog Entries
    153
    Quote Originally Posted by Louweasel
    What should I do about my sprained thumb?
    Ice it, and drink some single malt to kill the pain...

    Oh wait a second, this is supposed to be bad advice....

    Ignore it and go fence a bunch of ham-handed guys who will bang bells a lot--the additional shock will cause it to heal right up!

    What's the best (worst) way to get to the tournament in Aarhus next weekend?
    Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.

  11. #411
    Senior Member Array Louweasel's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,573
    Quote Originally Posted by sabreur

    What's the best (worst) way to get to the tournament in Aarhus next weekend?
    In a tardis.

    *slurps Bowmore Surf*

    I might have a date next week. What shall I wear?
    Louweasel
    "I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from" [Eddie Izzard]

    "she might not look like much, kid, but she's got it where it counts"

  12. #412
    Senior Member Array T. Mock's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Milwaukee, WI & Evanston, IL
    Posts
    129
    A plastic garbage bag because it's what is on the inside that counts.

    How can I cure my nausea?
    the force goes bam.

  13. #413
    Senior Member Array KelseyD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    714
    Wear a plastic trash bag. Just vommit into it when you need to.

    How do I find a job when I have no driver's lisence?
    dT_Tb

    I'm a Romantic...


    Wha'd'ya know 'bout that?


    RASTAS

  14. #414
    Senior Member Array akaiyuki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Los Angeles/San Francisco
    Posts
    2,027
    Get a fake driver's license. And while you're at it, make sure it says you're over 21.

    What should I do before my summer vacation is over?
    A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

  15. #415
    Senior Member Array KelseyD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    714
    Party Hardy Hehe.

    What should I do for Halloween?
    dT_Tb

    I'm a Romantic...


    Wha'd'ya know 'bout that?


    RASTAS

  16. #416
    Senior Member Array Sword Hobbit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    redneckvill Oklahoma
    Posts
    3,542
    Go to wall mart, buy 13 blue and green bras and cut them into 235,355 pieces.



    How can I talk to my crush without looking stupid?
    “That’s not seduction! That’s ‘I made pudding’!”~Fabrice~
    "They were not as far as appearance goes, anything but two soldiers at opposite poles from each other, but first of all they were both artists"
    ~Eugenio Corti, The redhorse.~

  17. #417
    Senior Member Array wheeringa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Christchurch, New Zealand
    Posts
    387
    Wear a clown mask so they cant see your face.

    how should I change my unicycle tyre?
    Curse you evil Pots & Pans Man!

  18. #418
    Senior Member Array Katman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    1,017
    Stand another unicycle tire up and collide with it as fast as you can while riding the old unicycle. I've done this in video games all the time. It'll fix you right up.

    How should I trim my mustache?
    The solution to your problem is to fence another weapon.

  19. #419
    Senior Member Array The Chaotic Wind's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    California
    Posts
    968
    get a nice fire started in your fire palce (or on your house) then put your face in it, let the fire decide the style.

    how do i walk around in the girls locker room without getting caught?
    "If you can't beat 'em, hurt 'em"
    The Chaotic Wind was here, are you with me?
    http://www.fencing.net/forums/thread29458.html
    Because we're cool like that.

  20. #420
    Senior Member Array JackOfHearts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    9,725
    Two words: Cardboard. Box. It's a classic!

    What's the best way to get to Texas?
    If your hearts not in it, why bother? -Yours truly
    http://fedoramocha.blogspot.com/
    "Honor is the cloak of thieves - Sometimes." -Raymond Chandler

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 6000
    Last Post: 05-25-2012, 05:16 PM
  2. Advice/Help!
    By Nach0o in forum Fencing Discussion
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 04-20-2006, 07:49 AM
  3. Why such atrocious grammar in this forum?
    By JMcC in forum Water Cooler
    Replies: 62
    Last Post: 04-10-2006, 09:56 PM
  4. Advice, Please
    By DE_Strip_Tease in forum Fencing Discussion
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-24-2005, 01:15 PM
  5. Any advice for a new guy?
    By Shwa in forum Discussion Archive
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-21-2002, 07:29 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30