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Old 09-03-2006, 12:55 AM   #401
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Bowl with your eyes closed.

How do I get old men to stop being attracted to me?
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And now for this message...
Go Green members don't see these ads.


Old 09-03-2006, 01:28 AM   #402
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take your brain and place it in the body of an old man. take his brain and put it in your body. see how he likes it.

how can i learn my way around campus faster?
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Old 09-03-2006, 01:39 AM   #403
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Rocket powered shopping carts. Most fun ride ever!


What's the best way to find a new job?
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Old 09-03-2006, 01:53 AM   #404
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Pick your favorite company and then stalk the boss. Find out about his secrets so you can threaten, I mean, ask him nicely to give you a job offer. It will be a guarantee good pay.

How can I convince someone to give me a ride?
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Old 09-03-2006, 01:58 AM   #405
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You don't ask for a ride. You TAKE a ride. GTA style.


How do i find a fluffy pink unicorn?(Don't ask what i intend to do. Its malicious)
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Old 09-03-2006, 07:41 AM   #406
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E-bay.

Or you set a trap with a fluffy pink virgin....

How do I stop the helicopter that is flying up and down the valley, making noise?
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Old 09-03-2006, 02:26 PM   #407
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Shoot out!!!

How do I avoid going to dates with creepy men?
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Old 09-03-2006, 02:34 PM   #408
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KelseyD
How do I avoid going to dates with creepy men?
Go on dates with creepy women instead.

How do I turn down the job offers I've recieved without pissing off the people who made them?
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Old 09-03-2006, 05:18 PM   #409
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D'Art
Go on dates with creepy women instead.

How do I turn down the job offers I've recieved without pissing off the people who made them?
Don't open the letters; just write "DECEASED" on the envelope and return to sender.

What should I do about my sprained thumb?
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Old 09-03-2006, 05:30 PM   #410
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Louweasel
What should I do about my sprained thumb?
Ice it, and drink some single malt to kill the pain...

Oh wait a second, this is supposed to be bad advice....

Ignore it and go fence a bunch of ham-handed guys who will bang bells a lot--the additional shock will cause it to heal right up!

What's the best (worst) way to get to the tournament in Aarhus next weekend?
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Old 09-03-2006, 05:38 PM   #411
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sabreur

What's the best (worst) way to get to the tournament in Aarhus next weekend?
In a tardis.

*slurps Bowmore Surf*

I might have a date next week. What shall I wear?
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Old 09-03-2006, 06:00 PM   #412
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A plastic garbage bag because it's what is on the inside that counts.

How can I cure my nausea?
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Old 09-03-2006, 09:12 PM   #413
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Wear a plastic trash bag. Just vommit into it when you need to.

How do I find a job when I have no driver's lisence?
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Old 09-03-2006, 11:15 PM   #414
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Get a fake driver's license. And while you're at it, make sure it says you're over 21.

What should I do before my summer vacation is over?
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Old 09-03-2006, 11:17 PM   #415
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Party Hardy Hehe.

What should I do for Halloween?
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Old 09-04-2006, 01:34 AM   #416
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Go to wall mart, buy 13 blue and green bras and cut them into 235,355 pieces.



How can I talk to my crush without looking stupid?
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Old 09-04-2006, 01:52 AM   #417
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Wear a clown mask so they cant see your face.

how should I change my unicycle tyre?
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Old 09-04-2006, 02:07 AM   #418
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Stand another unicycle tire up and collide with it as fast as you can while riding the old unicycle. I've done this in video games all the time. It'll fix you right up.

How should I trim my mustache?
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Old 09-04-2006, 02:45 AM   #419
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get a nice fire started in your fire palce (or on your house) then put your face in it, let the fire decide the style.

how do i walk around in the girls locker room without getting caught?
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Old 09-04-2006, 02:51 AM   #420
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Two words: Cardboard. Box. It's a classic!

What's the best way to get to Texas?
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Woman was created for our destruction, and it is from her we inherit all our miseries. - Aramis, from The Three Musketeers

All human wisdom is summed up in two words. Wait and Hope.

http://www.bash.org/?23396
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