08-02-2007, 12:25 PM
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#2201 | | Question Game Queen
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Southern Canadia
Posts: 15,599
| Threaten it with an axe, of course.
How do I tell my mom not to bother cleaning up my brother's room for my boyfriend's visit, since he'll be sharing my bed? | 
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08-02-2007, 12:36 PM
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#2202 | | Epee fencing addict
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Glenwood, ny
Posts: 2,301
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Originally Posted by Go? Fencing?  How do I tell my mom not to bother cleaning up my brother's room for my boyfriend's visit, since he'll be sharing my bed? | Let her clean the room. It will make her happy. But do ask her to make sure your brother's nightstand has an ample supply of condoms for your boyfriend's visit. 
How do I get my doctor's office to call me back with my x-ray results?
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One test is worth a thousand opinions.
I ain't as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was. - Toby Keith
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo | 
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08-02-2007, 12:53 PM
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#2203 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Indiana, PA
Posts: 984
| Quote:
Originally Posted by parrythis How do I get my doctor's office to call me back with my x-ray results? | There is no reason to get these results, as the very act of having had the x-ray taken will clear up any condition that you may or may not have. These are also preventative in nature, thus you should be getting a full body fluoroscope done at lease three times a week to prevent future illnesses/injuries. I recommend at least a 15-30 minute nap while under the device – this gives me a healthy glow all year long! It is almost lunch time here, and I will be heading back home on my lunch break to the chaos of my three kids (ages 6, 3 and 3) and my visiting niece (age 5). What should I have for lunch? How can I actually eat said lunch without having the four kids steal it off the plate first?
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"Delusions are often functional. A mother’s opinions about her children’s beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth. - Lazarus Long, Time enough for Love, Robert A. Heinlein
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08-02-2007, 01:57 PM
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#2204 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: redneckvill Oklahoma
Posts: 3,536
| OOH, twins.
Eat the niece, most likely that won't keep the other three from trying to eat her to tell them it's healthy.
How do I get my brother to make cheesecake?
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“That’s not seduction! That’s ‘I made pudding’!”~Fabrice~
"They were not as far as appearance goes, anything but two soldiers at opposite poles from each other, but first of all they were both artists"
~Eugenio Corti, The redhorse.~ | |
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08-03-2007, 01:14 AM
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#2205 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Wherever I am.
Posts: 516
| Hold a knife to his throat?
What's the best way to celebrate a special event?
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"When your opponent fears you, then's the moment when you give the fear its own rein, give it the time to work on him. Let it become terror. The terrified man fights himself. Eventually he attacks in desperation. That is the most dangerous moment, but the terrified man can be trusted usually to make a fatal mistake. You are being trained here to detect these mistakes and use them."
-Frank Herbert, Dune | |
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08-03-2007, 02:19 AM
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#2206 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Norcal
Posts: 510
| Naked...and make sure there are lots of cameras to document your momentous occasion.
Should I stay or should I go now?
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Do not meddle with dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
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08-03-2007, 10:47 AM
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#2207 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 1,715
| For the love of God, go now! Who needs you, anyway?
How can I convince my publisher to give me a promotion?
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Can't you, just this once, f*** off?
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08-03-2007, 10:56 AM
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#2208 | | Epee fencing addict
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Glenwood, ny
Posts: 2,301
| Quote:
Originally Posted by matt9476 How can I convince my publisher to give me a promotion? | Write an expose on your publisher's sexual indiscretions. Make up anything you need to make it more effective. Photoshop some pics showing your publisher in compromising and possibly illegal situations. Threaten to go public unless you get your richly deserved promotion and a healthy salary increase. 
How can I convince my wife to save for future purchases instead of simply using a credit card?
__________________
One test is worth a thousand opinions.
I ain't as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was. - Toby Keith
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo | |
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08-03-2007, 11:33 AM
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#2209 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Maryland
Posts: 496
| Take all of her credit cards and max them out on fencing gear for yourself. Then she'll have to save money.
I want washboard abs, but while I have a trim waistline, I just can't seem to get that six pack definition. How do I get to that next level?
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Daniel Sullivan
Foil, epee
Second Dan Kumdo, Kuhapdo
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08-03-2007, 11:36 AM
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#2210 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: At work, lurking the fnet forums
Posts: 173
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Originally Posted by The Rose Knight I want washboard abs, but while I have a trim waistline, I just can't seem to get that six pack definition. How do I get to that next level? |
Tape the plastic six-pack holder to your belly.
What do I do if I find some of the advice in this thread to actually be good advice?
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My fencing philosophy = quantity over quality. Eliminate the rest periods! Fence all three weapons! 15 touches for Vet DE's!
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08-03-2007, 08:43 PM
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#2211 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Under the sea
Posts: 2,812
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Originally Posted by RkfdFencer What do I do if I find some of the advice in this thread to actually be good advice? | Run round the office naked, while shouting "The boss is a dickhead!" at the top of your voice. At the very least, you'll be a legend, maybe even earn that promotion for showing such enthusiasm at work.
What should I do if the above advice doesn't work quite as anticipated?
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I AM the walrus
I'm not grumpy - I suffer from stupidity rage
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08-03-2007, 10:40 PM
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#2212 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Over there -->
Posts: 3,873
| Bring a lawsuit against your job about discrimination against nudists.
Should I actually work this weekend? My ADD is acting up... | |
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08-04-2007, 04:29 PM
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#2213 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Norcal
Posts: 510
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Originally Posted by lefty_monster Should I actually work this weekend? My ADD is acting up... | Yes...and volunteer to operate heavy machinery, if any exists!
I'm going to the horse races today. Any suggestions?
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Do not meddle with dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
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08-04-2007, 04:40 PM
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#2214 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Houston
Posts: 566
| Axe the horses you didn't bet on.
How should I deal with finals next week?
__________________ The Lord Gorlock's Glorious Hair Fanclub
For people who know what's what. | |
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08-04-2007, 10:15 PM
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#2215 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Over there -->
Posts: 3,873
| Vodka vodka vodka
My room's a mess. Where to start....? | |
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08-05-2007, 12:18 AM
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#2216 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Houston
Posts: 566
| Cleanse your room...WITH FIRE!
How do I get out of mowing the lawn tomorrow? I detest mowing the lawn!
__________________ The Lord Gorlock's Glorious Hair Fanclub
For people who know what's what. | |
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08-05-2007, 12:41 AM
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#2217 | | Posting Hound
Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Lylat System
Posts: 13,068
| Burn it.
How do i start making a portal to the demon world?
__________________ VOTE FOR SPORTS KID OF THE YEAR: The Fencer, DUH. I'm Neinteen, and I approve of this message. | |
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08-05-2007, 02:26 AM
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#2218 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Norcal
Posts: 510
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Originally Posted by Neinteen How do i start making a portal to the demon world? | Tie yourself up and throw yourself into a volcano. Human sacrifices alone apease the demon hordes.
I have wicked tendonitis in my off-shoulder (Yeah who knows how I did that). How do I make it go away so I can sleep at night?
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Do not meddle with dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
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08-05-2007, 12:58 PM
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#2219 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Houston
Posts: 566
| With an axe. Just chop the whole shoulder off!
How do I convince people my hair is the greatest?
__________________ The Lord Gorlock's Glorious Hair Fanclub
For people who know what's what. | |
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08-05-2007, 02:35 PM
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#2220 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Earth
Posts: 3,029
| Easy, get rid of everyone who disagrees!
how do I make people like me/ not say I'm gay?
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I want to live a romantic life, the kind no one believes really happened Live Chat A person desperately searching for love is like a fish desperately searching for water.</ | |
