The Thread of Atrocious Advice

[sneakattack]

Will smith has a new movie!?

What do you do with a brother that watches you sleep for 8 hours!?

Yes, it also stars Charlize Theron and the working title is John Hancock. I think it mostly takes place in Brooklyn.

Anyway, back to the thread...

Pretend to sleep and make up creepy things to say "in your sleep." If he still doesn't desist, you can put a knife under your pillow and pull it out after a particularly creepy sentence.

How do I come up with the price that my preferred assassin requires to do the job?

[Neinteen]

Open a pet store and sell hamsters. They sell like hotcakes!

How do i explain to my parents why my brother told them that I told him that he should become gay so he would stop watching me sleep? Apparently, "he's a creepy perv" isn't nice to say to a curious kid.

[The Rose Knight]

Explain to them that if your brother doesn't stop watching you when you sleep that you'll sharpen the point of your fencing weapon and use his eyes to practice point control.

I'd like to start a fencing club at the research company where I work. What is the best way of finding potential fencers?

[Neinteen]

cool, good idea ( both parts )

Start a cult and make people want to join. Then, force them into weird initiation proccess, like 'the foot position of the 'enter cult symbol here'. Then have step 2 and 3 be : the 'advance' and 'reverse advance' ( this cult doesn't retreat! ) of the 'enter that cult name here again'.

The people who cannot pass the initiation aren't in. The others, can join your cult and have fencing potential.

What's a good way to ensure your parents that you will stop whipping your brother with your foil? After the 923478th 'I won't whip him again", they've started to lose faith, and he's started to lose blood.

[remistress]

What's a good way to ensure your parents that you will stop whipping your brother with your foil? After the 923478th 'I won't whip him again", they've started to lose faith, and he's started to lose blood.

Start drawing crayon pictures (of the horror film variety) of, what appears to be your brother, with your foil puncturing various body parts (I'm thinking through the eye or from the mouth through the back of the head). Explain your actions before were simply a misunderstanding and that you've found a much more liberating medium to vent your frustration. Ask if you can put your pictures on the refrigerator.

How do I create a full-time position at the place I already work?

[Neinteen]

Hire an assassin. Easy problem solved.

How do I convince my parents not to send me to therapy

[lefty_monster]

How do I create a full-time position at the place I already work?

Move in.

How do i get my stuff packed for vacation without leaving my chair?

[lefty_monster]

Whoops, sorry Nein. You don't need to change anything. They're just kidding about therapy. And the straightjacket.

[Neinteen]

Move in.

How do i get my stuff packed for vacation without leaving my chair?

Force your siblings to do it, if you have none, force the neighbors kids to do it, if they dont have any. you live in a old people's home!

How can i Create a new world order eliminating all but foilists?

[The Rose Knight]

Force your siblings to do it, if you have none, force the neighbors kids to do it, if they dont have any. you live in a old people's home!

How can i Create a new world order eliminating all but foilists?

Become president of the FIE, then issue executive orders making sabre timings so obnoxious that nobody will want to do it and one requiring epeeists to wear a full body lame and electric mask in competition.

How I convince the USFA and the FIE that they need an official coffee?

[lefty_monster]

Be like all of the other refs and have TERRIBLE coffee breath. *cough cough gag* I hate early morning events.

What should I do to those refs that breathe fire and insist on getting SOOO close to talk to me?

[Neinteen]

SLAP THEM... WITH YOUR EPEE!

How should i raise money to bail Lefty_monster out of jail?

[KidLazy]

why bail her out when you can use "the force" to bust her out of jail?

I got nothing on schedule today, so what should I do?

[Neinteen]

516 649 THREAD!

How should i go about crashing Maple Epee's party?

[KidLazy]

Get drunk and drive your car into their swimming pool.

There is this little crazy foil girl started an Anti-Epee cult, how do I stop her?

[Neinteen]

Join her!!!

The Epees are conspiring a massive F.net take over, how do i become a part of this without being an epee!?

[The Rose Knight]

Just bring good rum. We won't care what weapon you fence. Or do what I do: fence foil and epee

I have dead spots on my foil lame. Any good suggestions as to how to fix them so I don't have to replace my lame?

[Neinteen]

don't. I fenced for a short while with a few deadspots on mine. Got away with a few points! ( wrong i know ) my indacator was teh bomb though!

How do i get rum while im stuck at home? make my own distillery? how do i elarn to do that?

[KidLazy]

Pi$$ in a bottle, then make your own rum out of it.

I am actually working right now, on a Saturday! What do I need to do to get a better job?

[Neinteen]

Get hired by this guy :





how do i help Lazykid learn karate in the first place