The Thread of Atrocious Advice

[Sword Hobbit]

Send them to a strip club, kid love that kind of stuff.

My laptop is not working, when I opened it up it said “windows is resuming” it been like that for the last hour. Other then smashing it to little tiny pieces and telling my percents I need a Mac, what should I do?

[The Rose Knight]

Send them to a strip club, kid love that kind of stuff.

My laptop is not working, when I opened it up it said “windows is resuming” it been like that for the last hour. Other then smashing it to little tiny pieces and telling my percents I need a Mac, what should I do?

Place a large magnet on the hard drive. That should get it started again.

I have one of those ambidextrous Leon Paul carbon fibre French grips on my epee. Works great, but it's a bit point heavy. Any recommendations on evening up the balance?

[Have At You]

Trash the lightweight pommel that screws onto the end, and machine yourself a replacement made out of uranium. It's a much heavier metal, so it will nicely balance the blade.



What is the best way to improve my cellphone reception inside this old stone-walled building in which I work?

[Sword Hobbit]

stand on top of your desk and walk in little circles.

I'm about to try selling some of my art on Ebay, how do I get the most bids?

[matt9476]

Offer private showings of yourself along with your art.

How can I cut down my caffeine addiction?

[Timo]

take up smoking

how should I get stronger?

[Sword Hobbit]

Walk 45 miles, that should do the trick, but if it doesn't you can aways walk over and visit ILS and nusy.


How should Timo go about walking across the ocean?

[lefty_monster]

one step at a time. that sinking feeling is only an illusion.

Why should one follow the advice on this thread?

[The Rose Knight]

because the results will be very entertaining, though potentially life threatening:P

My favorite cd is skipping. Any way to fix it without replacing it?

[keith]

because the results will be very entertaining, though potentially life threatening:P

My favorite cd is skipping. Any way to fix it without replacing it?

yes.

...but what you need to do is match the shift in refractive index caused by the scratches on the CD. So take a bit of sandpaper and gently polish the laser lens.

where should I go for a relaxing summer break?

[The Rose Knight]

Iraq is a good choice. Most tourists haven't discovered this exotic vacation spot, so the crowds won't be too bad. And with the huge troop surge, Iraq is now safer than ever. Don't believe all those stories of overwhelming heat either; just dress in beach clothes and you'll do fine.

I'm trying to develope my off hand point control. Any suggestions?

[Beloit Fencer of Old]

I'm trying to develope my off hand point control. Any suggestions?

Buy a table saw, and put little targets around the whirring blade. Then, point with your off-hand index finger, and start hitting the targets in rapid succession, back and forth, back and forth. The blade is a very good (and fun!) deterrent to sucking at using your off hand. Also, you can get the whole family involved! Young kids enjoy this game.

I have a high school class reunion (20 yrs!) on Friday night. I haven't seen any of these people since 1987. Should I try to impress them? How?

[matt9476]

Show off your manly biceps by putting each person you meet in a vicious headlock.

I'm so tired at work right now. Where should I take my nap?

[Sword Hobbit]

The morgue.



I'm going to a High school production of les miserables Friday, what should I wear?

[matt9476]

Butter. Lots and lots of butter.

I need a new car. What should I get?

[Sword Hobbit]

Butter. Lots and lots of butter.

I need a new car. What should I get?

Why buy a car, when shoes are so much cheaper.


What should I do when I get arrested foe indecent exposer?

[matt9476]

That's the beauty of the plan. Being covered in butter will allow you to slip through the bars of the jail cell undetected and if a cop tries to grab you, you'll slip away from him, too.

I need new shoes, too. What should I get?

[KidLazy]

A pair of 7 inch golden stilettos.

I am thinking of start my own company, what would be a good name for it?

[Sword Hobbit]

$hiters away.


I'm out of butter, what should I do?

[lefty_monster]

I'm out of butter, what should I do?

Use marmalade.

I need to start saving for my own car. How do i save enough money?