08-12-2006, 05:31 PM
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#1 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Long Island
Posts: 303
| Is it just me?
Am I the only person who just straight up can't handle ambiguity?
I am now in two different scenarios that I cannot predict the outcome of and this really creates uncomfortable feelings for me.
1) I am currently supposed to go to a party at the house of a girl I've been seeings brother. However, I don't know precisely how to get there and we were supposed to have spoken this afternoon, and although I called and left a message I haven't heard from her. Now, I expect she'll call, but I don't know, b/c our relationship is currently ambigious. We're not exclusive, we've only been on 3 dates. But by the same token you don't go on 3 dates w/ someone if you're not interested. Ambiguity. If I was more comfortable w/ where we stood, I'd feel more comfortable she'd call, but I don't and henceforth I don't. And sitting here agonizing is just making things far worse.
2) I may have mentioned this elsewhere in the forum but I'm starting lawschool a week from tomorrow. I have some idea of what to expect in terms of work, and in terms of orientation. Yet, still I won't know precisely what is required to succeed at that level. Ambiguity -- Stress. By the same token I'm going to meet a whole new group of people, be in a whole new place. . .It is just impossible for me to feel comfortable about this.
Sorry to waste forum space, but I am stressing, and I have not too many other places to vent this stress. I figure it's not too uncommon, but having some people to empathize (or make jokes) might help...I imagine I can count on this group for at least on or the other. . .
Best to all
--Purp
__________________ Characteristically, I had been trying too hard, and remembered again that wonderful piece of advice given by a French thinker: Trouve avante de chercher--Valery, it was. Or maybe it was Picasso. There are times when the most practical thing to do is to lie down. | 
|  | | And now for this message... |
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08-12-2006, 06:32 PM
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#2 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Reading, UK
Posts: 300
| Everyone worries about things and gets stressed when they don't know what is going on. But if we don't step outside out comfort zones then we never grow.
I know how you feel both when it comes to the relationship and law school. You just have go on and do your best.
The only jokes that come to mind are about lawyers and now probably isn't the best time for them. | |
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08-12-2006, 06:38 PM
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#3 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,356
| Purp-
Lighten up! It's only life...women and career.
Nothing to worry about, mate.
Brian
__________________
And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?
~Hamlet
Last edited by BrianH; 08-13-2006 at 01:51 AM.
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08-12-2006, 07:16 PM
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#4 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Long Island
Posts: 303
| Thanks for the advice... 
I got an email from this girl about an hour ago, probably around the time I was posting saying she wasn't interested in persuing a relationship. And for some reason, I feel better than I did before I got that email. Weird.
Ambiguity totally messes me up.
__________________ Characteristically, I had been trying too hard, and remembered again that wonderful piece of advice given by a French thinker: Trouve avante de chercher--Valery, it was. Or maybe it was Picasso. There are times when the most practical thing to do is to lie down. | |
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08-12-2006, 07:25 PM
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#5 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2003 Location: UK
Posts: 1,565
| At least you know what thee situation is now purp. But sorry about it anyway, if you liked her. Understand though how it is better to know here you stand - we all appreciate that!
Also understand that starting lawschool will be a bit scary but hang in there. Just think of all the wonderful new friends (even girlfriends!) you will meet amd the great things you will do. Be excited as well as nervous! And just take it that you will have to work hard and you won't go far wrong. Hey, if you ever want to shoot the breeze about the vagaries of criminal law I can give you a UK perspective!
Last of all, vent away - this is the water cooler. It's allowed!
__________________
Louweasel
"I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from" [Eddie Izzard]
"she might not look like much, kid, but she's got it where it counts"
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08-12-2006, 07:39 PM
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#6 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2000 Location: The Reflecting God
Posts: 3,862
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by purpzeyFCLI Am I the only person who just straight up can't handle ambiguity?
I am now in two different scenarios that I cannot predict the outcome of and this really creates uncomfortable feelings for me.
1) I am currently supposed to go to a party at the house of a girl I've been seeings brother. However, I don't know precisely how to get there and we were supposed to have spoken this afternoon, and although I called and left a message I haven't heard from her. Now, I expect she'll call, but I don't know, b/c our relationship is currently ambigious. We're not exclusive, we've only been on 3 dates. But by the same token you don't go on 3 dates w/ someone if you're not interested. Ambiguity. If I was more comfortable w/ where we stood, I'd feel more comfortable she'd call, but I don't and henceforth I don't. And sitting here agonizing is just making things far worse.
2) I may have mentioned this elsewhere in the forum but I'm starting lawschool a week from tomorrow. I have some idea of what to expect in terms of work, and in terms of orientation. Yet, still I won't know precisely what is required to succeed at that level. Ambiguity -- Stress. By the same token I'm going to meet a whole new group of people, be in a whole new place. . .It is just impossible for me to feel comfortable about this.
Sorry to waste forum space, but I am stressing, and I have not too many other places to vent this stress. I figure it's not too uncommon, but having some people to empathize (or make jokes) might help...I imagine I can count on this group for at least on or the other. . .
Best to all
--Purp | Life is an adventure. Believe it and it will be.
Doubt is the destroyer of dreams.
__________________
"Orgy-loving, sin-tastic epeeists will all go down to the fiery underworld!!!!!" | |
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08-12-2006, 07:42 PM
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#7 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Long Island
Posts: 303
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by latenight Life is an adventure. Believe it and it will be.
Doubt is the destroyer of dreams. | That is strong advice, and believe when I say, I will try and take to heart as best I can.
Wow. Thanks.
__________________ Characteristically, I had been trying too hard, and remembered again that wonderful piece of advice given by a French thinker: Trouve avante de chercher--Valery, it was. Or maybe it was Picasso. There are times when the most practical thing to do is to lie down. | |
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08-12-2006, 09:51 PM
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#8 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Cougar Country
Posts: 8,689
| Late's right... life really is adventure. Not having everything go as planned or knowing what's around the corner is part of the fun.
The things you're venting about are not big deals... whatever happens will happen and you'll land on your feet.
Enjoy the ride... purp!
__________________
If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th. birthday, you can get out of bed.
~E. Jean Carroll
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw. ~Calvin & Hobbes | |
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08-12-2006, 09:52 PM
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#9 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: California
Posts: 968
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by purpzeyFCLI Thanks for the advice...
I got an email from this girl about an hour ago, probably around the time I was posting saying she wasn't interested in persuing a relationship. And for some reason, I feel better than I did before I got that email. Weird.
Ambiguity totally messes me up. | that reminds me of a couple months ago when i was worried my gf was cheating on me. after i found out she was, i felt a lot better, especially after we broke up.
i guess its better to know the bad news so you can figure out which way to go, than to not know whats going on and have nothing to base other decisions off of. | |
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08-12-2006, 09:54 PM
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#10 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Long Island
Posts: 303
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Originally Posted by Fencergrl Enjoy the ride... purp! | Sort of like a roller-coaster. You know when it's going up the hill, you're going to go down, and you get nervous, even though you know, it's a roller-coaster.
But I am trying, and will continue to do so. So, thanks. Quote: |
Originally Posted by The Chaotic Wind i guess its better to know the bad news so you can figure out which way to go, than to not know whats going on and have nothing to base other decisions off of. | That's where I'm at mang.
__________________ Characteristically, I had been trying too hard, and remembered again that wonderful piece of advice given by a French thinker: Trouve avante de chercher--Valery, it was. Or maybe it was Picasso. There are times when the most practical thing to do is to lie down. | |
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08-12-2006, 10:01 PM
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#11 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: California
Posts: 968
| the way i see it, all questions are answered with time, so until that time comes just do what you can, sit back and relax...
that or you can find someone who would know the answers and demand them...but demanding only works if asking politely doesn't...if niether work, then the first idea should. | |
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08-12-2006, 10:06 PM
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#12 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Long Island
Posts: 303
| I have a joke b/w my coach and I...It's not even really a joke so much as a saying that amounts to a joke. HURRY UP AND RELAX!
I agree wholeheartedly with what you are suggesting. But unfortunately my psyche doesn't not want to play ball today. . .Well, things are a little easier now that I need not worry about this girl business. . .
But I am still anxious about school. And you are right, only time will give me the answers I seek. I AM POSITIVE things will turn out OK. They're bound to, worst case, I come in dead last in my law school class -- that's still a whole lot better of a position I'm in now, which is nowhere. I have no where to go but up...but still it resounds: HURRY UP AND RELAX!  I don't take myself too seriously. . .I don't see this as insurmountable, but, it still irks me and there's just not much I can do.
Having nice people to talk to about it helps. So, please continue if you have what to say, and thanks if you did already.
__________________ Characteristically, I had been trying too hard, and remembered again that wonderful piece of advice given by a French thinker: Trouve avante de chercher--Valery, it was. Or maybe it was Picasso. There are times when the most practical thing to do is to lie down. | |
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08-13-2006, 10:44 AM
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#13 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Mid-West USA
Posts: 613
| Purp,
There is a life lesson in this for you. Never worry about what a girl you are dating thinks or if she is serious -- instead of fretting, just spend time with one of the other three girls you are dating at the same time.
Regards,
Feltan | |
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08-13-2006, 11:21 AM
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#14 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Cougar Country
Posts: 8,689
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by purpzeyFCLI
I agree wholeheartedly with what you are suggesting. But unfortunately my psyche doesn't not want to play ball today. . .Well, things are a little easier now that I need not worry about this girl business. . .
But I am still anxious about school. And you are right, only time will give me the answers I seek. I AM POSITIVE things will turn out OK. They're bound to, worst case, I come in dead last in my law school class -- that's still a whole lot better of a position I'm in now, which is nowhere. I have no where to go but up...but still it resounds
| Purp, when my husband was about to have his leg amputated around this time last year he realized that if he did what he normally did... (go to work) he would be thinking about it constantly. Instead, we booked our annual camping trip with friends, had a blast and came home a day before the operation... no time to think.
You might want to just find something to do other than sit around and think.
__________________
If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th. birthday, you can get out of bed.
~E. Jean Carroll
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw. ~Calvin & Hobbes | |
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08-13-2006, 11:59 AM
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#15 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2000 Location: The Reflecting God
Posts: 3,862
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Feltan Purp,
There is a life lesson in this for you. Never worry about what a girl you are dating thinks or if she is serious -- instead of fretting, just spend time with one of the other three girls you are dating at the same time.
Regards,
Feltan |
LOL LOL LOL....It's funny because it's true.
Although I am still pretty sure there is one girl that can handle me out there, I haven't found her yet. I think of her as the Oak Island, Nova Scotia money pit. It makes me smile.
__________________
"Orgy-loving, sin-tastic epeeists will all go down to the fiery underworld!!!!!"
Last edited by latenight; 08-13-2006 at 12:02 PM.
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08-13-2006, 02:16 PM
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#16 | | Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Germany
Posts: 42
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Fencergrl Purp, when my husband was about to have his leg amputated around this time last year he realized that if he did what he normally did... (go to work) he would be thinking about it constantly. Instead, we booked our annual camping trip with friends, had a blast and came home a day before the operation... no time to think.
You might want to just find something to do other than sit around and think. |
FENCE! 
I think (because of the necessity of concentration) it is almost impossible to fence and to think about your problems at the same time. You get some distance and afterwards you possibly can relax and look at them from another point of view.
If I'm under stress fencing is the best medicine. I can forget everything while fencing. | |
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08-13-2006, 03:54 PM
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#17 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Cougar Country
Posts: 8,689
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Originally Posted by latenight LOL LOL LOL....It's funny because it's true.
Although I am still pretty sure there is one girl that can handle me out there, I haven't found her yet. I think of her as the Oak Island, Nova Scotia money pit. It makes me smile. | Late.... why does it not surprise me that the thought of a woman handling you would make you smile? 
__________________
If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th. birthday, you can get out of bed.
~E. Jean Carroll
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw. ~Calvin & Hobbes | |
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08-13-2006, 04:00 PM
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#18 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2000 Location: The Reflecting God
Posts: 3,862
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Fencergrl Late.... why does it not surprise me that the thought of a woman handling you would make you smile? |
LOL...
It's more a fact of that while I'm fun for awhile, very few people can keep up with my lifestyle.
__________________
"Orgy-loving, sin-tastic epeeists will all go down to the fiery underworld!!!!!" | |
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08-13-2006, 04:09 PM
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#19 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Cougar Country
Posts: 8,689
| "Latenight... every girl's boy toy"
Ah... Late you'll eventually settle down, you're just not there yet.
__________________
If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th. birthday, you can get out of bed.
~E. Jean Carroll
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw. ~Calvin & Hobbes | |
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08-13-2006, 04:17 PM
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#20 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2000 Location: The Reflecting God
Posts: 3,862
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