My Favorite Description of Bush

[DE_Strip_Tease]

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to former Texas Governor, George W. Bush and his elevation to the White House.

The old Texan said, " Well you know, Bush is a 'post turtle'." Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was. The old rancher said "When you're driving down country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle." The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain,

"You know he didn't get there by himself, he dosen't belong there, he dosen't know what to do while he's up there, and you just want to help the dumb s*** get down!"

[OROD]

"Bush... great president, or, the greatest president?" -Stephen Colbert

[Mr Epee]

Meat Tunnel - and you're welcome!

[jeff]

Great story, DE_Strip_Tease. I've used 'post turtle' at work to describe incompetents with friends in high places, but didn't know all the lines with that go with the joke - thanks!

[sabreur]

Someone once described the 1998 election (Bush-Gore) as a contest between "two preppies slap-fighting behind chapel." The description, unfortunately, would have been equally appropriate for the 2002 election.

"Raise your glass to the hard working people
Let's drink to the uncounted heads
Let's think of the wavering millions
Who need leaders but get gamblers instead

Spare a thought for the stay-at-home voter
His empty eyes gaze at strange beauty shows
And a parade of the gray suited grafters
A choice of cancer or polio"

[needle]

A totality of branches and leaves that grow from one place.
Sounds so much better in Russian: "Совокупность веток и листьев, произростающих из одного места"

Oh wait ... which (or whose) Bush were you talking about?

[Phaeton]

The following is one of my favorite descriptions of the current political situation in the United States of America.

The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron-- H. L. Mencken

My fellow Americans, that great day has come.

[BrianH]

[QUOTE=sabreur]Someone once described the 1998 election (Bush-Gore) as a contest between "two preppies slap-fighting behind chapel." Uhm, I hate to be pedantic, but I think that election was in 2000. Nice description, though. And the subsequent election would have been in 2004. We still have 2.5 years of this guy.

[fencingfrog]

and i quote some bumper stickers...

"help the environment! plant a bush back in texas!"

"somewhere in texas a village is missing it's idiot..."

not that i disagree with these, but sometimes bush doesn't deserve the bad rap he gets. like with the busted uk bomb on the plane plot, the cia and brits did damn good catching the terrorists. so why are some people still saying bush failed? no clue

he failed with katrina. and not getting the hell out of iraq.

[umbrella]

I don't know of any president who has been universally loved or liked. All of the have weaknesses, fortunetly for us this time around, he's not an alcoholic, those are the worst, but, I don't trust a person who can't belt down a old fashioned belt of Scotch Whiskey once in a while. A person has to do something and it's ligitimate FUEL.

He does very well in some areas, but the war thing is something I don't know if anyone should be an 'expert' at. He looks stressed but I wouldn't advise any running, maybe a yoga class at the white house would be kind of cool, kind of different.....as long as he isn't asked to stand on his head, which isn't good either.

I see they're trying out Carter's son.....it may be okay, I'm still looking at an Italian? Any Italians out there who can run a semi large nation and sing Volare. The Italians are good people, they can dance, sing, make food, stay slim, go out and ride around in fancy jet set cars, bake ziti, and make fashion, art, music, you name it, we're into the groove, we have All can do the tarentella stomp with us......I think the Anglo thing has been played out long enough, it's time for a change, Vote Italian...

[pigeonmeister]

The Italians are good people, they can dance, sing, make food, stay slim, go out and ride around in fancy jet set cars, bake ziti, and make fashion, art, music, you name it, we're into the groove, we have All can do the tarentella stomp with us......I think the Anglo thing has been played out long enough, it's time for a change, Vote Italian...

Other things Italians are good at.....embezzlement, tax fraud, bribery, changing governments.

Pretty good at football and designing cars as well.

[lochinvar]

And let's not forget which Favorite Nation gave us Benito Mussolini...

[scrapinpeg]

and the mafia, and political corruption, and the borgias, and an enthusiastic disregard for accuracy in business dealings, and schoolyard political mudslinging, and vendettas, and economic failings, and third-rate jurisprudence, and fascism, and political assassination in the sense of killing people, and bad drivers, and an unfathomable inability to fix up all the ruins lying around, and...


well, they do give us parmagiano-reggiano. that makes up for a lot. and they did give us sophia loren. and michelangelo. and pizza.

[fencingfrog]

don't forget pasta!!! and parma gives us cheese!
and christopher columbus (not that i like him, but he did "discover" the americas)

who is the italian that is running? i cant vote anyway. *sigh*

-an italian

[TrainingDummy]

don't forget pasta!!! and parma gives us cheese!
and christopher columbus (not that i like him, but he did "discover" the americas)

who is the italian that is running? i cant vote anyway. *sigh*

-an italian

He discovered it and promptly gave it to Spain.

[Maeve_Mari]

"I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound largemouth bass in my lake." --George W. Bush, on his best moment in office, during a newspaper interview. May 7, 2006

[telkanuru]

And let's not forget which Favorite Nation gave us Benito Mussolini...

Sure, sure. I'd go with Eddy Izzard on this one:

Mussolini: Right, we're all fascists!

Italians: Uuum... Ok? [jumps on a vespa sine helmet] Vrrmmmmm Ciao!

[telkanuru]

...and political corruption,... and an enthusiastic disregard for accuracy in business dealings, and schoolyard political mudslinging, ... and economic failings, and third-rate jurisprudence, ... and political assassination in the sense of killing people, and bad drivers, and an unfathomable inability to fix up all the ruins lying around, and...

Riiight, those are all purely italian failings

[D'Art]

My favourite description of Bush is another one of those words which defies proper meaning, but you just know what it means, and who it describes. It's another word used by neds in Scotland, and is quite frankly briliant. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you - fannybaws.

[Inquartata]

If you guys were really clever, your favorite description of Bush would be the same as mine for Clinton: "out of office".