Online Romances?

[arcon]

[ 10-19-2001: Message edited by: arcon ]

[Ron Antrim]

The question arises, Are you in love with an actual person, or the formation of pixels on a screen? One does not always represent
him or herself truthfully online. As evidenced by our use of screen names and passwords. It's safe, it's secure, it's unreal and slightly twisted. People may enjoy the novelty of it all, and some may find that one in a million significant other.
As for me, I'm real, and I still like that rather old fashioned face to face interaction.

[arcon]

[ 10-19-2001: Message edited by: arcon ]

[arcon]

[ 10-19-2001: Message edited by: arcon ]

[Zelda]

Online romances can work, one of my bestest friends in Sydney met a lovely girl online and they are now a "couple". I'm glad as it

[Shadow Fencer]

Although I've never had an "on-line" romance, I think I've had the closest thing to it. But one must keep in mind that I was only 22 years old at the time! (Yeah, that was 23 years ago , so you can do the math and figure out how OLD I am!)

I met a fella, now my spouse at a party in Aspen, Colorado. We were students from opposite sides of the country on a ski trip during our winter recess from school. We were acquainted with each other for less than 24 hours before I had to return home. To make a long story short, we exhanged letters and made long distance phone calls on a once a week basis. If e-mail had existed back then, we would most likely have been on it 23 hours a day! But, we did make audio recordings and back then, we could send these in the mail for $0.35! After 4 months of this type of communication, we made plans to see if our relationship would work. After 3 years of "living together", I proposed and the rest is history. Yes, both of us are a little different! Like every couple who is together for a significant period of time (this June will be our official 20th wedding anniversary) we've had our ups and downs and all arounds and looking back, we admit that what we did was kinda wild, but that's just us! We saved all our cassette tapes and letters and every once in awhile, listen to a portion of the tapes to share humor- they are funny!

So, I think that communication on-line is a method of communication, however, it's not the whole picture, just a portion of it.




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I live to fence and fence to live!!

[epeetaph]

Well, I guess I feel obligated to write something here. Online romances can work, it's a possiblity. Considering I met my boyfriend (now) online. In fact, I talked to him nearly a month before I actually met him in person. So far it's been great. Just felt I had to add something along those lines.

[MikeHarm]

I had a friend (Monica) who found her husband from Australia on EFFnet's Internet relay chat. She moved there from the US and was very happy the last I talked to her.
I haven't had much luck with it myself though.

Mike

[MHS Fencer]

For the first month, the only time I talked to my current girlfriend was online, it can work, but it has to lead to face contact, it can't only be over the internet.

-Ian

[arcon]

[ 10-19-2001: Message edited by: arcon ]

[chilli]

I guess I have to say something here.

I met my husband online. We were chatting for about 3 months on IRC. I decided I wanted to take a holiday. I asked him if he wanted to take one as well. (I lived in the UK in the 80's and wanted to look up some old pals.) So I flew over from Texas. The weird thing is that we forgot to tell each other what we look like.(Seriously, we talked about so much, on the same wavelength and all that, physical appearance didn't come up) I got off the plane and he knew me immediately and I knew him. When I said something about that he replied "You look exactly as you should look." We did the holiday and when it came time for me to go back to the States, he told me that I would have to come back for a longer stay next time. "Why?" "Because you will be my wife and normally wives live in the same country as their husbands"...
And there you go, my little Romance Novel life. It's been 4 fantastic years.
Of course, if we had been "creating our personalities" when we were chatting online then we would not be together now. You get back what you put into online relationships. This is not a role-playing game, these are real people with the whole she-bang of emotions.How far do you want to go and live a false persona? No thanks, relationships are hard enough without that.

So, what you see typed here is what you get. This is me. Only without the smell.
C.J. Hill

[arcon]

[ 10-19-2001: Message edited by: arcon ]

[Fleche]

One of my aunts met a guy on the internet. I won't go into the whole story, but she had some sort of a breakdown, married this guy (after divorcing her husband and abandoning her kids) and moved off to america (from New Zealand) and now she is stuck there, living with him and his family, and not enough money to get home. I don't disagree of online romance, if both parties are truthful, unattached (!!) and no-one is getting hurt.

on the other hand, having an excuse to travel to another country would be good. Hmmm, must go visit her sometime

Anyway, that's my 'history' and opinion.
Fleche

[HilandDoug]

My sister met her husband online. She kissed an awful lot of toads before she met her prince, though. Been married 3 years so far, and it looks like they'll make it.

Shadow, very romantic! Thanks for sharing!

[Hunbabe]

Originally posted by arcon:
Im curious! Very! for personal reasons.
what do our fencing.net fencers think about
online Romances? Are they for real?
Have you had any experiences your willing to
share? good or bad..........The Arcon....

Personally, I like to look into the eyes of the person I'm talking to.(Your eyes are the reflection of your soul)If the person keeps looking away,I know there is something wrong. With "chat", you cannot see the person. But that's just me.
(I happen to know somebody, who met her fiance on line, and they're getting married this Summer. Honestly: I'm very skeptical)

[Stryder]

When people started talking about "online romances" I was hoping it would bring back the age of literature or something.
I hate the fact that so many people today can't make an intelligent sentence without using the word "like" at least twice and the phrase "ya know" in place of actual information.

Sadly human nature has avoided this benefit by inventing a ebonic version of english called by some "web-speak"

It involves smiley-faces using parenthases, but they are the only bright spot.
Short-cuts are funny and they make writing easier, but that is not the point.

Wouldn't it be great if we wrote every email and chat message with eloquence, aphorism and punctuation?

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www.geocities.com/strydermike

[Hunbabe]

I agree. In real life, a conversation is made more colorful by gestures and numerous other factors. I enjoy watching a person's body language during conversation.
"Emoticons" are a poor substitute for that. I'm glad you brought this up.

p.s. I was introduced to "chatting" about 2 years ago. I tried it. Honestly: it made me depressed. I tried typing as I would normally talk (full sentences with my gestures in parentheses). I got really irritated when it took the person about half an hour to type "kool". Arrrrrrgh....
Sometimes I could feel my brain start to atrophy!

I don't mean to offend anybody who likes to chat. This is all just MY take on it. Peace.

[chilli]

Essentially, I agree with the both of you, Stryder and Hun. Speaking face to face is preferable in most cases. This is because of “web-speak” mentioned by Stryder. I try not to succumb to the shortcuts of language. The age of literature had dawned for myself and my spouse.
I know I am verbose, but choosing the right word is the difference between filet mignon and a Big Mac. It is not false to express yourself eloquently.
I grant that body language adds to flavour when tête-à-tête. But, I have usually found that my appearance can be a detriment to real communication with the opposite sex. Wading through those mating signals is tedious when I want to discuss World Politics. I will not apologize for sounding vain, it is truth.
So are we talking about that Cyber-sex type of online relationship or honest communication between humans?
Chilli – really keeping it real.

[space_cadet]

Originally posted by chilli:


I grant that body language adds to flavour when tête-à-tête. But, I have usually found that my appearance can be a detriment to real communication with the opposite sex. Wading through those mating signals is tedious when I want to discuss World Politics. I will not apologize for sounding vain, it is truth.

Sounding vain? I don't get it. You admit your looks turn off persons of the opposite gender and then you boast about your World Politics knowledge. You are being vain and self-demoting at the same time?


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Cadet à Space

[arcon]

[ 10-19-2001: Message edited by: arcon ]