Stupid or funny lines

[Aqua_volans]

What stupid/funny things do you make up or hear people say? i just got one that really caught my attention - "Give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day, set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

[Phaeton]

Speaking of fire, in the game Deus Ex: Invisible War when you light an illuminati on fire, they say in a completey calm, if not slightly surprised tone: "I am flammable" and then rund around screaming....classic.

[fencingfrog]

this is true ish but funny:

the best swordsman in the world isn't scared of the 2nd best swordsman. he's scared of the worst*

*cuz they are clueless and have no technique!

you know you're a fencer when you aren't afraid to run with scissors!

[mrbiggs]

It's funny that you'd post that quote, because it was a signature line here like two years ago. Whoever's it was doesn't post anymore, though, I don't think.

[Moses]

Life is a sexually-transmitted disease with 100% mortality.

I don't need to play poker to get naked.

One from my friends:

May-Ling: Give me an adjective for 'cat'.
Mark: Meow.

-Da Mose

[slowgraffiti515]

"well if they catch me sneaking into the movie theatre ill just tell them im blind"
yeah...i dated a real winner

[TrainingDummy]

Speaking of fire, in the game Deus Ex: Invisible War when you light an illuminati on fire, they say in a completey calm, if not slightly surprised tone: "I am flammable" and then rund around screaming....classic.

Really? I only played the first one. It was amazing, one of the best games ever made.

[keropie]

My roomate used to work at Circuit City in home audio, and got some real winners as customers. Two of the favorites:

(Customer points to a random receiver or whatever) 'How good is this?' Roomate responds '7.' Customer says 'Huh?' The problem being, of course, the lack of any sort of scale for goodness... vague questions deserve vague (and useless) answers.

And then a customer came in and pointed at a $100 Kenwood receiver, and a $600 Sony receiver and said 'These are the same, right?' (Clearly he meant these do essentially the same thing, but it turns out that the two receivers were not the same. . .)

[Adler]

Give 'em an inch and they'll take a foot and before you know it you haven't got a leg to stand on.