any helpful hints to prevent burnout?

[sleepyweasle]

My kid will be entering her junior year in the fall and will be taking a very demanding schedule (multiple APs, science research seminar, etc.). She will also be starting to compete internationally (as well as in the usual national stuff) for the first time. She will also have the normal SATs and "thinking about college" stuff going on.

(This is all self-motivated so don't yell at me for pushing her too much! )

She currently fences 3x/week & is planning to increase to 4x/week next year which is significant as, because of the commute involved, each fencing session ends up consuming 4-5 hours/day meaning homework is often done in the wee hours.

I'm worried that she is going to burn out. Does anyone who's recently had to deal with this or has helped their child cope have any helpful hints they'd like to share which might make this next year a little easier?

[parrythis]

Just because she wants to do something, even something positive and productive, doesn't mean you have to let her. It is not only the parent's perogative, it is their responsibility to sometimes say "No."

Take the list of things she wants to do and prioritize them. Figure out how many can be done without sacrificing the quality of participation. Cut the rest off the list and save them for later in life. Give it a try and adjust as necessary.

Don't be afraid to say "No."

[prototoast]

Just because she wants to do something, even something positive and productive, doesn't mean you have to let her. It is not only the parent's perogative, it is their responsibility to sometimes say "No."

And just what is the parent supposed to tell her not to do?

[butterfly]

make sure she has her priorities straight before going into this crazy schedule.

And be there when she needs you.

[seak]

Have her start doing the college and SAT stuff this summer, make a list of places to visit etc, and take the SAT's in October. This gets a lot of the college stuff out of the way while she won't have classwork to worry about and gets the SAT's done early in the school year, before it gets to stressful.

If she doesn't do well and needs to take it again this gives you the most time between now and next year to choose a good date study etc. Once she makes her college list I would start thinking about visiting them junior year (spring) and then she can do applications over the summer. As a lot of schools have early acceptance (or decision if she falls in love with a place) deadlines that are in early fall this is generally a good idea anyways.

Also if it starts to become to much you may have to limit something for her, but this should be the last resort. Mainly just be there for her when she starts feeling overwhelmed.

[fencerbill]

And just what is the parent supposed to tell her not to do?

She is on the threshold of her whole life, not on a professional fencing career.

In college she will have to budget her time to study, perhaps fence, and have some recreation. There are many who have been able to keep things in balance.

Ann Marsh comes to mind. She fenced, was successful in premed and now has finished medical school. See if she will give you some suggestions.

My advice to the many young fencers I have enjoyed knowing is that the high school/college stage of their life is as much finding out what they don't want to do as well as pointing towards what they think they want to do.

Good luck!

[OROD]

any helpful hints to prevent burnout?

Dont use too much gas and then EASE off the clutch. When you feel it start to kick in, then slowly press down on the gas as you come off the clutch. Hope that helps.


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[sleepyweasle]

Thank you Seak - those are excellent & practical suggestions.

Fencerbill - the kid knows she isn't going to be a professional fencer - however she does have (as I'm sure all kids do at a certain level) Olympic dreams (2012 - not 2008. She has SOME grasp on reality!!!) She knows it's an extreme longshot - and she knows that her education comes first and understands that if the fencing schedule becomes too much it will be cut back. But she wants to give it a whirl. She has been balancing her life pretty well so far. Hopefully all will be well.

But any other practical suggestions to make life easier for her would be much appreciated.

[prototoast]

But any other practical suggestions to make life easier for her would be much appreciated.

Practical suggestions are to not worry about the SATs. Just take 'em and then take 'em again. No need to prep and stuff. Also, don't bother visiting colleges. You can figure out where you want to go after you've been accepted.

[Mr Epee]

Don't fence in the Summer...

[OROD]

Dont fence in your underwear... believe me, it can be painful.


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[Mr Epee]

Dont fence in your underwear... believe me, it can be painful.


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Damn it, Orod... I know you think you're hilarious, but there's a big difference between folks trading barbs and just being a royal a**...

SleepyWeasel is asking a legitimate question in an intelligent way.

Let's try to be civil...

[OROD]

Damn it, Orod... I know you think you're hilarious, but there's a big difference between folks trading barbs and just being a royal a**...

SleepyWeasel is asking a legitimate question in an intelligent way.

Let's try to be civil...

LOL... ok, wait hold on, let me get into serious mode. Here we go:

Errrr, dont fence in the Winter. It's cold, dont do it.

Is that better Mr.E?


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[dramamine]

I think the key to not burning out is just having other interests and not taking on too much at once.

I am in grade 12, taking hard courses, competing a lot, training a lot, and until pretty recently was doing three sports at a time, and I am turning out just fine (I hope). I found making use of free time at school to help me big time (I have a 45 minute lunch period at school - who takes 45 minutes to eat lunch? I do homework while I eat a sandwich and get work done, so maybe I can go to my friend's after school before training). If I'm listening to a boring lecture about nothing in English, I just pull out my history and start studying for the next test. Economy and variety is key, as well as work ethic. Getting ahead before big tournaments and party weekends (inevitable in grade 12, at least for us canucks) saves stress which leads to burn out.

It all comes down to the old cliche, work hard play hard. Keeps you sane I think.

[fresfisher929]

Hey,

I'm a junior in highschool, with 7 days. I took 4 ap's ran cross-country, indoor track, and outdoor track, along with fencing at a national level, 2 NACs and JO's (fencing 3X a week).

My parents probably should not have let me do all of this. It turned out well however. I think the most important thing is just being time-efficient. I did a lot of my homework during school or when my parents drove me to fencing practice. Use every second possible, espescially the commute; either to do homework or sleep. The second most important thing is that rest is neccessary. Your daughter will need time where she doesn't have to think about anything, where she can just space out, hang out. Its not a sign of weakness or a waste of time, but it's a neccessary part of operating at such high intensity and should be taken frequently. Otherwise you break.

Another point is good nutrition is very helpful. During the year i didn't drink soda or eat candy. It will make you significantly more energized. It helps your body to be able to atleast rely on that if you can't rely on sleep. Sleep is important too, though she will not get as much as she needs.

Also, she should feel alright about missing a practice to study for a test or do a project. Trying to stay up later to do it when you're already stretched thin is not good. It's much better just to miss the practice and do some activity at home. On that note it helped me that my parents would remind me that school is more important than fencing.

Don't worry too much about the SAT, just take it in the fall once and then take it again if need be. Also don't worry too much about the college stuff. One thing that helped me become more aware of colleges was through some of the mail i got after taking the PSAT and SAT. She can worry about colleges over next summer, it's not something to worry about too much.

The end of my sophomore year I burned out fencing. I had gone to too many tournaments that year and put too much pressure on myself to do well without any specific goals. This year it helped me to set very specific goals. You should also train for those goals, and keep that in mind during the year, there is very little point in training very hard right after a large tournament. It helped me a lot this year that almost everything I did was focused towards certain goals.
Along those lines, priorities are very important, and the list does not neccessarily have to be fixed. Before exams, it's school. Before JO's it's fencing, etc. etc. Just have priorities and don't try to focus on everything at once.

Good luck!

[Mr Epee]

LOL... ok, wait hold on, let me get into serious mode. Here we go:

Errrr, dont fence in the Winter. It's cold, dont do it.

Is that better Mr.E?


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No not really... although I can see why you thought I was joking.

Some people get excited about fencing, and try to participate year round without taking an off season... the offseason is a very important part of avoiding burnout. Training takes a mental toll and that's a big part of what ends up burning people out...

Take the summer off and train the other 8 months of the year.

Good times.

[mrbiggs]

Just because she wants to do something, even something positive and productive, doesn't mean you have to let her. It is not only the parent's perogative, it is their responsibility to sometimes say "No."

Take the list of things she wants to do and prioritize them. Figure out how many can be done without sacrificing the quality of participation. Cut the rest off the list and save them for later in life. Give it a try and adjust as necessary.

Don't be afraid to say "No."

Come on now. That's too harsh. Let her try it. If she can't handle it and her grades suffer or she starts to go crazy, that's when you take off the fencing. I know kids with schedules like this that can handle it.

[OROD]

No not really... although I can see why you thought I was joking.

Oh, no, I'm sure you were not joking. And that's the funny part... a guy with The Tick as his avatar telling me that I need to be more serious.




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[Prateek73]

Just because she wants to do something, even something positive and productive, doesn't mean you have to let her. It is not only the parent's perogative, it is their responsibility to sometimes say "No."

Take the list of things she wants to do and prioritize them. Figure out how many can be done without sacrificing the quality of participation. Cut the rest off the list and save them for later in life. Give it a try and adjust as necessary.

Don't be afraid to say "No."

First of all, does the daughter only fence competitively or only for recreation?


If the latter this is bad advice. Fencing's a great way for me to be physically more active and blow off steam


Btw, I was your typical "top" student in Highschool with numerous activities on the side, including a part time job. It's possible....just involves a good amount of time management

Plus in the long run, an expensive selective private school for undergrad isn't really worth the money ; )

[tbryan]

Also, she should feel alright about missing a practice to study for a test or do a project. Trying to stay up later to do it when you're already stretched thin is not good. It's much better just to miss the practice and do some activity at home. On that note it helped me that my parents would remind me that school is more important than fencing

Have her tell the coach ahead of time about any specific goals so that he can keep them in mind when structuring her lessons. Make sure that the coach understands that she'll be balancing a lot of different things, and that sometimes fencing will "lose." When fencing needs to take second place, and she needs to miss practice, just remind her to notify her coach as soon as she knows that she'll be missing practice.

You're also not the only family trying to do these things. You may want to contact the national office to see whether they can give your name to other parents of international junior competitors. This coordination seems like a useful and not too difficult thing for the national office to do. They just need to pass along your e-mail address to the known contacts for other fencers and tell them that you'd like any advice that they can offer. Perhaps you could all develop some sort of "handbook" for parents of international and elite junior fencers.