Maybe they should have called the AA?

[Gav]

F-22 Raptor swallows pilot

Says it all in the title.

You think that Lockheed could have included free AA* membership with the cost of the plane reputed to be $134 million.

* I don't know what the AA stands for in the US [aside from Alcoholics Anonymous] - in the UK it generally means "Automobile Association".

[Black Jeebus]

We have a similar organization called AAA, American Automobile Association, or triple A for short.

[Katman]

I came in here expecting some alkies and instead I see stuff about planes and no link or anything. Gav, I'm very confused.

[Gav]

Ooops ....

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05...walloes_pilot/

Sorry about that.

[Epee_Pox]

Excellent spelling in the link.

I'm sure it was under warranty.

[Black Jeebus]

I wonder how many miles L/M warrantees their vehicles for? Kia's warranty is like 60000 miles!

[Mr Epee]

Eject! Eject! Eject!

Doh!

[Black Jeebus]

Just like Top Gun! Only they didn't have a chainsaw to save Goose!

[Mr Epee]

Just like Top Gun! Only they didn't have a chainsaw to save Goose!

You forget he was married to Meg Ryan.

I've never been fully convinced that it wasn't a suicide.

[Larrison]

I was surprized they sawed off the entire canopy. Why not just drill out the latch? Considering that canopy cost something like $188,000 you'd think that cutting some of the metal to cut out the latch would have been cheaper.

And you mean they didn't have some WD-40 and graphite to use on the lock? geeze....

[bmcfencer]

Weren't these the same people who dropped NAPALM on an oil spill? I'm surprised a chainsaw was all they come up with.....

[Aqua_volans]

that kinda sucks

[Mauler]

It's not that the canopy itself cost $180,000, but all the related cost to get the plane back to deployment ready condition would cost that much. That involves identifying software/hardware problem that led to this end-user complaint.

Oftentimes troubleshooting the unexpected can take more resources than design and assembly. Gotta call out the programmers, manufacturer's technical liason, identify the problem, ship out the parts if the base chief doesn't have them in inventory, have the secretary type up the invoice, etc etc etc.

Of course, I'm sure the canopy itself costs a big bundle, too. After all, defense contractor can call any price as they desire, especially if we're talking about parts for a new and hot addition to the customer's hardware line-up. As for the decision to cut out the canopy as opposed to other options, a piece of fancy plastic costing as much as an abused Ferrari is still less expensive damage than assaulting high-tech skin and air frame that would cost ten times more to repair/replace.

Anyways....

In the future event should you run into any problems in end-user usage of the product, please don't hesitate to call our F-22 Emergency Technical Support Center at (866)727-8671, or by e-mail at f22.helpdesk@lmco.com .

Our Aeronautics Department can be reached at:

Aeronautics
Lockheed Boulevard
Fort Worth, TX 76108
(817)777-2000



When USFA's front product goes buggy, we e-mail webmaster@usfencing.org ...

When USAF's front product goes buggy, we click on F-22 Yo Rappa Rappa Raptor Geek Squad!


Please note that our innovative implementation of 3rd generation Glass Cockpit technology allows a unique diversion for distressed end-user in situations similar to unfortunate incident in Virgina. Technology-saavy end-users could, for isntance, modify the fully computerized user-hardware interface to enhance comfort, even during moments of distress (such as waiting 5 hrs trapped in an office!)

Many 3rd party modifications of the interface have emerged among the end-user community, particularly among the young pilot candidates and aircraft technicians. It has been reported that an unnamed all-USAF fragsquad has successfully ported Half Life 2 engine for play on F-22's Multi-Function-Display. The team is currently rumored to be working on cockpit-to-cockpit multiplayer capability to this mod. Please stay tuned for upcoming Doom 3 port and iPod integration to F-22 cockpit!

[Goldgar]

"A hapless US Air Force pilot had to be physically cut free from the cockpit of his F-22A Raptor when the canopy resolutely refused to open."

"I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."