fencing cliches...

[epeetaph]

Come on, I know everyone has heard them...you know what I mean. When people find out you are a fencer, there are a WHOLE bunch of evil cliches against you. What are the worst ones you have heard? It can be about swords, duels, or anything along that line.

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"Get thee down. Be thou funky."
-Anon

[Rick]

Someone told me...
"Hey Rick, never bring a sword to a gun fight."
I told him: "Man, that's really original... you thought about that yourself, or did you need some help on that one?"

[Mengarath the Dragon]

From every single one of my ignorant, arrogant, spoiled, annoying, farmer/rancher cousins and uncles: "Send her out to our place. We'll show her fencing. Hope she likes barbed wire." It's enough to make you wish your epee had a point on it (and you had it in your hand just then).

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Mengarath the Dragon

Life is to short to be ordinary.

[epeetaph]

Oh, trust me, I can relate. I live in Oklahoma. When I tell people I fence. They questioningly look at me, and go, "so do I, but not for fun...when the cattle could get out..." No, no, no...the sword thingy...white outfits...(with no look of understanding on their faces...what so ever!)

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"Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est."
Latin: "A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer's hand."
-Seneca, "Letters to Lucilius"

[Gav]

Here's some common ones I've heard.

At a competition how do you define all three weapons:-

Foilists are always standing around talking fencing gobbledegook or shouting at each other about right of way!

Epeeists are in the corner with their heads between their knees fiddling with their screwdrivers!

There's no sign of the sabreurs cos they're all in the pub having a fight and drinking beer!

[Moonitic]

Me: I'm a fencer

Dummy: chain link or picket?

OR

Dummy: you sell stolen stuff? Got any watches?

UGH! Makes you want to SMACK someone!

[sabreuse]

The most common ones I get are, "Boy, I wouldn't want to meet you in a dark alley." or "That must keep your husband in line." Like I walk around with my sabre in my hand all the time!




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I have principles. If you don't like them, I've got others.
--Groucho Marx

[Craig]

Or:

"Fencing? So, how much can you get me for this stereo?"

[ReticMaster]

I hate when people tell what kind of fence you biuld. There is this thin guy at school that says this every time "don't wipp out sabre and cut me up" or " every buddy, she is a fence and she might poke everybody with her eppe". The guy just gets me mad.

[Rick]

Here's everyone's favorite fencing cliche...

"Distance, distance, distance..."

And my personal favorites:

"Check your watch" (for one position parries) and "Stick it in your ear" (for Sabre parries over the head -- what position is that again?)

[ladybug]

Epee is a monolouge
Foil is a conversation
Sabre is a argument

or

Epeeists are Homo Sapiens
Foilists are Cro-magnons
Saberists are Neaderthals

[Zeke]

I would tend to switch foil and epee in your second set. Not that that would have anything to do with me fencing foil or anything.

[SteveMcDonough]

I just get peeved when I tell someone I fence, and they just say something like "Oh... On guard! hahahahah!"

I look at them blankly, and tell them straight. I'VE HEARD THAT ONE!

That gets to me.

[Rick]

Steve, next time someone tells you that... tell them "et la..." you should see the look on their faces as they are trying to 'process' what you just said.

[epeemancer]

When a teacher fist heard (heard and believed) that i started fencing she looked over at me and smiled whilst saying "Oh, On Guard"... You should have seen the look in her eyes when i went to on guard. some days i wish i had a camera.

while i'm on the subject of how non fencers look at fencers does anyone else have a high-school fencing team? and if you do, do the "jocks" come and incesently make fun of you or chanlenge you or steel your sword and poke you and run off? (run off saying 'come and get me' and you wish you could be the poor fool doesn't have a mask on and you wouldn't want to hurt him) if you do plese inform me how to get these kinds of people to go away. some of the younger fencers on the team don't know what to do in a situation like that.

my favorite saying would have to be
"Distance And Movement In Time" (DAMIT)

[FencerInUS]

Eppeemancer:
Here's what you do. you quietly take them into the back room, and SLAP THE HELL OUT OF THEM! If you want, you may use a foil for this. just a thought.

[HilandDoug]

Epeemancer, what are these people doing at your practices? If you can keep them out, it would eliminate the problem. You also might want to ask them why they're running if they have a weapon (after grabbing yours and running off). Only cowards run, so they must be cowards, right? Challenge them immediately after this statement, and grab a sabre. Cut hard to the thigh, and don't stop until they quit. Later, I'll post a related incident under the "Humourous Stories" thread in the water cooler.

[Mengarath the Dragon]

The classic reply when some asks for advice:

"Don't get hit."

Hey, it's the best advice anyone can give, though it's not always real helpfull.

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Mengarath the Dragon

Life is to short to be ordinary.

[belligerent_sorceress]

Our high school fencing team is basically ostracized by the rest of the school. The track team tore down the fencing signs that we put up in OUR locker room. Every time I tell someone I'm a fencer, I get one of these reactions: 1) ::blank stare:: Why?
2) Hahahahaha...on guard! Are you going to hit me with your sword?
3) ::look of disbelief:: You can't be a fencer...you don't dress all in black.
Once, however, I did get a "That's so cool!".
We're basically out of sight, out of mind- fencing meets aren't listed in the newsletter with the other teams. Of course, there are also those great people who think we're a bunch of psychos. Some of the people on our team have a penchant for trenchcoats, and somehow, the rest of the school links that to the 'trenchcoat mafia' and school shootings. One of the most insensitive comments, ignorant comments I've ever heard came from a football player who was like "Oh geez, if someone ever shoots up the school, I'll put on a fencing team jacket and I'll be safe." Drr drr drr, I wanted to smack that guy so hard...It makes me sick.

[Foil Girl]

I had my some equipmnet at school one day because our club was doing a fencing demonstration, and all everyone could say was "parry, parry, thrust!" and fall out of their seats laughing. I wish I could pop them over the head with a saber. I cand jsut see it...
"I'll show you a thrust!" ::evil laugh::

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-Foil Girl