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what to do? since im sure some of the ppl on here are maried or girl/boy firend... well kinda wanting some advie maybe? i know a girl, who i REALLY like, and safice it to say, im a better fencer than her, and we are in the same class, and all, but, what do i do, when i have to fence her, i feel almost bad when i beat her. should i let her win? or let her just get a really close score to me? im kinda perplexed on what to do with this.... i guess it could be worse, iv never really had to fence her in a turnament... i dunno what to do about this, any help would be greatly welcomed
Chris
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Fence with the best die like the rest! Fence with the best die like the rest!
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Senior Member
Array 
Hi SabreKid
Aaaaaaaaaah the eternal problem, here is my story:
My fiancee and I met when she walked into my fencing hall one day and asked to learn fencing... lets just say it was love at first touch...
Anyway we both continue to fence and compete and we both fence the same weapon: foil!
This is problematic, I have always been better than her (although since she has started getting lessons from the top coach this is changing at an alarming rate lol). We do fence eachother because we enjoy it and I NEVER go easy on her: I find this HUGELY disrespectful to her and myself. In training bouts we are each working on different things and not necessarily trying to win so score is largely irrelevant (BayerHunter would like me). For the first time EVER two weeks ago, we had to fence eachother in a competition (we had always been pooled seperately in previous comps) and I had to work really hard on an emotional level to do what had to be done: I won 5-0 and incurred much jeering from friends etc but if I had not fenced as hard as I could I would have cheated her and myself as well as broken one of the most important rules in the rule book (yes it is a rule that you HAVE to fence the best of your ability).
It is much easier for us now (4 years down the line) than it was when we were 'checking each other out', 'spading' or whatever the process is now called as we (and our relationship) are so much more mature now. But even so it is very frustrating for her and it can be quite distressing to me when she loses.
The bottom line is that if you RESPECT her you will fence as well as you can against her. If she doesnt understand that then that is her problem, not yours and you would be wasting your time on her as she does not RESPECT you!
OK I am rambling so I'll shut up now.
Good Luck
Later
Cyrano
(Note the name: I must be an expert in these 'affairs' lol)
BTW Fencing babes rule (ask me I know)
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Saberkid,
I concur with Cyrano11 even though my spouse and I don't fence one another (he's a non-fencer) But what Cyrano11 states is true for fencing anyone. I experienced similar conflict when fencing beginners and the rule about fencing to the best of your ability helped me. On the flip side, if one is fencing an extremely better fencer than oneself, the same rule applies in that one wouldn't want to give away their points just to get the bout over. I recall fencing my coach for the first time in competition a few months ago. I kept telling myself, once our masks were over our faces and the ref said engarde, to me he was just another fencer and not the coach. See if that helps you to fence your girlfriend at the next competition when you must cross blades with her!
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I live to fence and fence to live!! I live to fence and fence to live!!
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Never give away a touch! Your friend will get better, but she can only do that if she fences people who are better than her. Be supportive of her efforts and be truthful.
Tell her what she is doing right and tell her how to improve her moves.
Then ask her out. See if she'd like to go see the new movie A Knight's Tale.
Have fun! 
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Old dogs CAN learn new tricks! Too soon the angel of death sweeps o're each one and leaves a cold dew upon the lips and in the heart. Live well, laugh much, love long, and die hard.
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Senior Member
Array 
I've been in a similar position before. Luckily, we don't fence competitively except for in meets. If you want to go easy on her, let her get a touch, then show her how she did it, why it worked. Let her do it a few times, then parry and make her come up with something new. You can go easy on her as long as she knows you are and it's more of a lesson.
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Nękos, leader of elite Aiovan Strike Force
"You can run, but you'll only die tired". -Michael Anson It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protestor to burn the flag. - Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC
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Cadet ą Space
[This message has been edited by space_cadet (edited 05-30-2001).]
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Senior Member
Array 
[ 10-19-2001: Message edited by: arcon ]
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Senior Member
Array
[ 10-19-2001: Message edited by: arcon ]
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Senior Member
Array
Originally posted by Swordsman: I've been in a similar position before. Luckily, we don't fence competitively except for in meets. If you want to go easy on her, let her get a touch, then show her how she did it, why it worked. Let her do it a few times, then parry and make her come up with something new. You can go easy on her as long as she knows you are and it's more of a lesson.
Keep in mind while reading my little piece of advice that I'm single, have been for a while, and probably will continue to be for a while yet.
It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protestor to burn the flag. - Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC
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Posting Hound
Array 
Go for a fleche, go corps-a-corps, grab a quick hug, then go back & fence 
Seriously, though. If it were my wife in comp, it's either her or me. In practice, though, I woudln't say to "give" a touch. Rather, I'd try to work on something myself (like draw her attack in 4, than work on a clean parry riposte). If she lands, either I'm doing something wrong or she's doing something right.
Practice and competition are vastly different creatures, although some people can't tell the differance.
I've seen a lot of husband/wife bouts (Larry/Linda Dunn and Heidi/Josh Runyon in sabre, and Shannon/Robert Calay in epee), and trust me, they're all tryign to beat each other if it's in comp.
Besides, the loser takes out the trash/changes the baby. THERE'S incentive fer ya!
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Sam Signorelli -- Boldly going forward...'cause I can't find reverse!
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As a girl, I wouldn't want someone who likes me to take it easy on me. You can tell usually when people aren't fencing up to their real level, and after that when you fence them you're constantly questioning whether all the touches you got were real and you really earned it (the trust goes up in the air). I agree with Cyranox, I think it's an issue of respect. I say you should fence normally, but help her out. Give her pointers. Anyways, hope this helped.
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-Foil Girl
"Nadie nace sabiendo" -Foil Girl
"Nadie nace sabiendo"
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yeah, thanx ppl's i think this did, kinda help, though, i dont know that i'd give her pointer, seeing as how were in the same class, i dont wana come off as being too cocky (seeing as how i already am :-) ) when i fence her, i dont fence my 100%... i kinda fence around 75... and try different things, i just find it hard, because i want her to win, and i'd rather her win than me.. hell, i dunno what im talking about. oh, and i wish i could we did foil.. corps-a-corps.. it'd be nice ;-) i'll catch this tomarow morning... l8
Chris
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Fence with the best die like the rest! Fence with the best die like the rest!
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