Fencing Limericks

[ladybug]

In honor of St. Paddy's (the patron saint of drunken fencers) day I've come up with a limerick describing my fencing weapon progression.

There once was a gal who fenced foil
All day long she would struggle and toil
When she tired of the labor
She picked up a sabre
To bean people when her blood was aboil.

Anyone else out there willing to take some poetic liscense with their fencing experiances?

[saberbaby03]

The was a young girl with a sword
who suddenly got very bored
so she proceeded to poke
at a young nearby bloke
and now the lawsuits she cannot afford.

This is kinda dumb, but im learning!!

*annika*

[Shadow Fencer]

There was a lady who wasn't too old
Who thought she would fence and be bold
Three coaches helped her
Her parries got stronger
And now she is hoping to go for some gold!


This was fun!

------------------
I live to fence and fence to live!!

[mmatsen]

I'll spare everyone my own poetic attempts and relate something I came across in my freshman physics textbook:

There once was a fellow named Fisk
Whose fencing was exceedingly brisk
So quick was his action
The Lorenz contraction
Foreshortened his foil to a disk.

Yep, relativity humor. There's a version of that limerick involving a different sort of weapon, but it'll have to wait until Fencing.Net introduces 'adult' forums...

[mmatsen]

And yes, a foil would actually foreshorten to a rectangle. Poetic license...

[epeetaph]

There was a young girl on the street
Who said fencing was "stupid" not neat
I got out my saber
Proceeded to bang her...
Head until she fell off her feet

(okay I just wanted to join in...)

[ladybug]

epeetaph -

I KNEW there was a reason I liked you!!!

[Mengarath the Dragon]

There once was a man much too old
They said, to fence with the brave and the bold
He picked up a sword
He beat them 'til bored
And refuted all he had been told

True story!

------------------
Mengarath the Dragon

Life is too short to be ordinary.

[mango fever]

there once was a woman named nell,
who fenced foil with the swells,
she thought they knew more,
till she evened the score
and now you know nell even more

[epeetaph]

Thanks ladybug! All of these are really great!

[Peach]

In honor of my coach:

A fencing instructor named Mark
Wore spandex that glowed in the dark.
A lesson from him
Would make your sight dim,
And the spectators hoot, scream, and bark.

[chilli]

In England a girl named Chilli
Fenced against Jane and Jilly
Until the last slash
The crowd cried “Whiplash
Chilli, you schizophrenic hillbilly”

Yep, I still haven't found a club.

[mango fever]

there once was a fencer from texas
who ate chilli and beans for breakfast,
he farted real loud,
and bowed to the crowd,
and now he can't fence beans outside texas

[mango fever]

there once was a fighter named moe
who fenced with a girl named joe
they fenced all day long,
they fenced until dawn,
there once was a fighter named joe.

[Dragoneye]

There once was a fencer named Ed,
Had the strength of ten men, t'was said,
Could not win a bout
Despite all his clout
Poor guy had no brains in his head!

<Shrug> - I wanted to play too


------------------
"Violent delights have violent ends." R&J - WS.

[mango fever]

There's a fencer around called "Peach"
whose foil kept all out of reach,
no matter how tall, explosive or small,
our peach, has a reach that could teach.

-----------------------------------------
There once was a fencer quite dear,
who could throw back of pint of beer,
it was said around town,
that he worn them all down,
with a nod and a blink and a spear.
------------------------------------------

[mango fever]

one more limerick about myself:

There's a fencer who loves to play foil,
we don't know if she's in for the spoil,
but one thing we know,
she's tough and can go!
but would rather go out and wear voile.

[HilandDoug]

Wow!!! These are great! I'll have to put my thinking cap on....

[Peach]

A feisty foil fencer named Mango
Really knew that it took two to tango
If opponents attacked,
Mango parried, then whacked,
Then showed off with a flaky fandango.

[sabreuse]

There was a sabreuse from St. Louie
Whose attack had gone all kablooey
She finished the action
without satisfaction
and said, "You refs are all full of hooey!"