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Senior Member
Array 
Rhetorical Questions Okay...this is where we ask the questions we don't really expect answers to. Some are better left unanswered, so don't anybody start adding in logical answers!
First one: Why didn't Noah just slap one of those mosquitoes when he had the chance? It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protestor to burn the flag. - Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC
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Senior Member
Array 
Lol! That's a good one!
Second: If the #2 pencil is the #1 pencil used. Then why is it still #2?
Third: (No offence to any guys.) If a man is standing in the middle of a forest talking and there is no woman around to hear him is he still wrong? "Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory." - George S. Patton
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Why is it, that once you have put on your underplastron,untangled/sorted/put on a body chord, jacket and lame, dug out a half-decent weapon, arranged a bout with some bloke, get called to the piste... WHY is THEN a good time for your bladder tell you that it wants emptying?
That bugs me.
Steve.
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I know this may not be a good thing for everybody, and pobly. doesent help with fencing for the people that feel the need to be realaxed during bouts, but I often feel that the need to empty my bladder gives me more energy, I even tend to sprint a heck of a lot faster on a full bladder. (as long as Im sprinting towards the restooms.  ) TheScibe- after all, the pen is mightier than the sword!
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Senior Member
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That always happen to me during softball. We will be warming up for like an hour, then I'll get on the field, put my knee savers onto my leg gaurds, put on my leg gaurds, put on my chest gaurd, re-tie my cleets, put my batting glove on, then put my field glove on, get the game ball from the ump, talk to my pitcher, put my helmet on, warm up the pitcher, the the umpire yells "Play Ball!" and my bladder yells "Run to the restroom!" There's something wrong with that! "Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory." - George S. Patton
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Agree with all the above regarding the need to empty the bladder. There's a dialogue that happens to me as I'm zipping up my lame and the dialogue is something like this: Do I have to go or not, I'm zipping up this lame and maybe I can just wait.. then after I zip up the lame, the signals to "go" come in loud and clear. Hmmm, why is it that the body will wait to scream to your brain to "go" until the lame is zipped and not when you're putting on your plastron... or even before you clutch your bodycord to place it into the sleeve of your jacket? I live to fence and fence to live!!
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Senior Member
Array 
[ 10-19-2001: Message edited by: arcon ]
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Senior Member
Array 
AND it never fails that as soon as I get my mask on, my nose itches or my hair falls into my eye. Geesh! CAUTION: The heart is a fragile thing. Handle with care.
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Senior Member
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You know thats a good one arcon! How do you do it?
Why Do pycics have to ask your name? (Dont look at my spelling.) "Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory." - George S. Patton
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Why do they have to put up signs for Psychic Fairs? We get a couple a year near me, and they always plaster the area with these bright pink posters. They shouldn't have to.
Steve.
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Senior Member
Array
"Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory." - George S. Patton
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Why are your own farts funny, and others' not so?
Why is the word Fart funny?
Okay, I'll grow up.
Steve.
Surf and destroy.
(I assume I can say fart here, because i've said it 3 times already).
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Senior Member
Array 
Originally posted by arcon:
<STRONG>How can you pre-board a plane.....really....how do you get on before you get on?
hmmmmmmmmmmm arcon</STRONG>
Thank you, George Carlin.
About this time, someone is telling you to get on the plane. "Get on the plane, get on the plane." I say, "F*** you, I'm getting IN the plane! In the plane! Let Evil Knievel get ON the plane! I'll be in here with you folks in uniform. There seems to be less wind in here."
Carlin's airline rant
[ 08-20-2001: Message edited by: epeemike81 ]
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How come, that when two airyplanes nearly crash, it's called a "near miss"? Surely it should be a near hit?
ummm....
Steve.
Consider the lilies.
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Why do moths only appear at night?
I mean.
Daytime: ALL that loveley sunlight.
Night time: light a ciggy, Dirty great hairy moth like a six legged alsatian with wings.
Ummmmm....
Steve.
Tree!
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By the way...
Who's George Carlin? I KNOW that name.
I see a dude with a beard. (goatee?)
Help. It's driving me nuts.
Steve
Shop shop shop!
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Senior Member
Array
Steve don't talk to me ever again! You don't know who George Carlin is?? He is. . .hes awesome . .I mean. . .Oh let somone else tell you I'm. . .speachless. "Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory." - George S. Patton
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Senior Member
Array 
Ok, why is it if you stand up in the middle of a library and shout "Arrrrgggghhhh!!!" everyone just turns and looks at you, whereas if you do the same on an aeroplane everyone joins in? Weird. 
btw, Wannabe, who is George Carlin? Sorry. I wish I could think of something witty to write here.
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Senior Member
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I think we have discovered a SEVERE problem with British culture.
NO GEORGE CARLIN???????
how do you live?????
he is an incredibly funny comedian. his main sticking points that he harps on are:- conservatives
- People who take themselves too seriously (e.g. feminists)
- Euphamisms (e.g. the migration of the term "Shell Shock" to "Battlefield Fatigue" to "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder"
- Censorship
I suggest you find some CD's or mp3's of him around. As for what he looks like, he was the bishop in Dogma. a particularly funny role for him....
want to know why? listen to his comedy routines.
-m
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Senior Member
Array
How do we live without something we have never heard of...? I'm not going to answer that.
I will try and route out an mp3 from somewhere then, I guess. Soon I will even have a computer capable of playing an mp3.
*Haze* I wish I could think of something witty to write here.
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