08-18-2001, 10:47 AM
|
#1 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 698
| Rhetorical Questions
Okay...this is where we ask the questions we don't really expect answers to. Some are better left unanswered, so don't anybody start adding in logical answers!
First one: Why didn't Noah just slap one of those mosquitoes when he had the chance?
__________________
It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protestor to burn the flag. - Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC
| 
| | | And now for this message... |
| |
08-18-2001, 01:02 PM
|
#2 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: The great U.S.ofA.
Posts: 1,362
| Lol! That's a good one!
Second: If the #2 pencil is the #1 pencil used. Then why is it still #2?
Third: (No offence to any guys.) If a man is standing in the middle of a forest talking and there is no woman around to hear him is he still wrong?
__________________
"Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory." - George S. Patton
| |
| | |
08-18-2001, 07:06 PM
|
#3 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: London, England is my primary residence, Then Arconia.
Posts: 292
| Why is it, that once you have put on your underplastron,untangled/sorted/put on a body chord, jacket and lame, dug out a half-decent weapon, arranged a bout with some bloke, get called to the piste... WHY is THEN a good time for your bladder tell you that it wants emptying?
That bugs me.
Steve.
__________________
I'll shut up now.
| |
| | |
08-18-2001, 08:23 PM
|
#4 | | Member
Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Virginia Beach Va USA
Posts: 35
| I know this may not be a good thing for everybody, and pobly. doesent help with fencing for the people that feel the need to be realaxed during bouts, but I often feel that the need to empty my bladder gives me more energy, I even tend to sprint a heck of a lot faster on a full bladder. (as long as Im sprinting towards the restooms.  )
__________________
TheScibe- after all, the pen is mightier than the sword!
| |
| | |
08-18-2001, 09:21 PM
|
#5 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: The great U.S.ofA.
Posts: 1,362
| That always happen to me during softball. We will be warming up for like an hour, then I'll get on the field, put my knee savers onto my leg gaurds, put on my leg gaurds, put on my chest gaurd, re-tie my cleets, put my batting glove on, then put my field glove on, get the game ball from the ump, talk to my pitcher, put my helmet on, warm up the pitcher, the the umpire yells "Play Ball!" and my bladder yells "Run to the restroom!" There's something wrong with that!
__________________
"Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory." - George S. Patton
| |
| | |
08-19-2001, 08:08 AM
|
#6 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: NY
Posts: 360
| Agree with all the above regarding the need to empty the bladder. There's a dialogue that happens to me as I'm zipping up my lame and the dialogue is something like this: Do I have to go or not, I'm zipping up this lame and maybe I can just wait.. then after I zip up the lame, the signals to "go" come in loud and clear. Hmmm, why is it that the body will wait to scream to your brain to "go" until the lame is zipped and not when you're putting on your plastron... or even before you clutch your bodycord to place it into the sleeve of your jacket?
__________________
I live to fence and fence to live!!
| |
| | |
08-19-2001, 09:03 AM
|
#7 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: earth(sometimes)
Posts: 1,181
|
[ 10-19-2001: Message edited by: arcon ]
| |
| | |
08-19-2001, 10:45 AM
|
#8 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2001 Location: (near Chicago)IL, USA
Posts: 532
| AND it never fails that as soon as I get my mask on, my nose itches or my hair falls into my eye. Geesh!
__________________
CAUTION: The heart is a fragile thing. Handle with care.
| |
| | |
08-19-2001, 11:58 AM
|
#9 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: The great U.S.ofA.
Posts: 1,362
| You know thats a good one arcon! How do you do it?
Why Do pycics have to ask your name? (Dont look at my spelling.)
__________________
"Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory." - George S. Patton
| |
| | |
08-19-2001, 03:22 PM
|
#10 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: London, England is my primary residence, Then Arconia.
Posts: 292
| Why do they have to put up signs for Psychic Fairs? We get a couple a year near me, and they always plaster the area with these bright pink posters. They shouldn't have to.
Steve.
__________________
I'll shut up now.
| |
| | |
08-19-2001, 09:39 PM
|
#11 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: The great U.S.ofA.
Posts: 1,362
| Yea same here Dame!
__________________
"Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory." - George S. Patton
| |
| | |
08-20-2001, 05:18 AM
|
#12 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: London, England is my primary residence, Then Arconia.
Posts: 292
| Why are your own farts funny, and others' not so?
Why is the word Fart funny?
Okay, I'll grow up.
Steve.
Surf and destroy.
(I assume I can say fart here, because i've said it 3 times already).
__________________
I'll shut up now.
| |
| | |
08-20-2001, 06:15 AM
|
#13 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Dana Hall School, Wellesely, MA
Posts: 3,821
| Quote:
Originally posted by arcon:
<STRONG>How can you pre-board a plane.....really....how do you get on before you get on?
hmmmmmmmmmmm arcon</STRONG>
| Thank you, George Carlin.
About this time, someone is telling you to get on the plane. "Get on the plane, get on the plane." I say, "F*** you, I'm getting IN the plane! In the plane! Let Evil Knievel get ON the plane! I'll be in here with you folks in uniform. There seems to be less wind in here." Carlin's airline rant
[ 08-20-2001: Message edited by: epeemike81 ] | |
| | |
08-20-2001, 06:23 AM
|
#14 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: London, England is my primary residence, Then Arconia.
Posts: 292
| How come, that when two airyplanes nearly crash, it's called a "near miss"? Surely it should be a near hit?
ummm....
Steve.
Consider the lilies.
__________________
I'll shut up now.
| |
| | |
08-20-2001, 06:30 AM
|
#15 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: London, England is my primary residence, Then Arconia.
Posts: 292
| Why do moths only appear at night?
I mean.
Daytime: ALL that loveley sunlight.
Night time: light a ciggy, Dirty great hairy moth like a six legged alsatian with wings.
Ummmmm....
Steve.
Tree!
__________________
I'll shut up now.
| |
| | |
08-20-2001, 06:33 AM
|
#16 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: London, England is my primary residence, Then Arconia.
Posts: 292
| By the way...
Who's George Carlin? I KNOW that name.
I see a dude with a beard. (goatee?)
Help. It's driving me nuts.
Steve
Shop shop shop!
__________________
I'll shut up now.
| |
| | |
08-20-2001, 07:17 AM
|
#17 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: The great U.S.ofA.
Posts: 1,362
| Steve don't talk to me ever again! You don't know who George Carlin is?? He is. . .hes awesome . .I mean. . .Oh let somone else tell you I'm. . .speachless.
__________________
"Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory." - George S. Patton
| |
| | |
08-20-2001, 09:55 AM
|
#18 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: England
Posts: 508
| Ok, why is it if you stand up in the middle of a library and shout "Arrrrgggghhhh!!!" everyone just turns and looks at you, whereas if you do the same on an aeroplane everyone joins in? Weird. 
btw, Wannabe, who is George Carlin? Sorry.
__________________
I wish I could think of something witty to write here.
| |
| | |
08-20-2001, 10:03 AM
|
#19 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Dana Hall School, Wellesely, MA
Posts: 3,821
| I think we have discovered a SEVERE problem with British culture.
NO GEORGE CARLIN???????
how do you live?????
he is an incredibly funny comedian. his main sticking points that he harps on are: - conservatives
- People who take themselves too seriously (e.g. feminists)
- Euphamisms (e.g. the migration of the term "Shell Shock" to "Battlefield Fatigue" to "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder"
- Censorship
I suggest you find some CD's or mp3's of him around. As for what he looks like, he was the bishop in Dogma. a particularly funny role for him....
want to know why? listen to his comedy routines.
-m | |
| | |
08-20-2001, 12:24 PM
|
#20 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: England
Posts: 508
| How do we live without something we have never heard of...? I'm not going to answer that.
I will try and route out an mp3 from somewhere then, I guess. Soon I will even have a computer capable of playing an mp3.
*Haze*
__________________
I wish I could think of something witty to write here.
| |
| | | Thread Tools | | | | Display Modes |  Linear Mode | 
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off | | | All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:17 AM. |
