08-20-2001, 12:39 PM
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#21 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: The great U.S.ofA.
Posts: 1,362
| I Love George Carlin! I have like three pages of stuff from his Pylosofy class stuff. I crack up every time!
LOL Im getting IN the Plane! Nice one Mike I neerly fell off my chair! lol
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"Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory." - George S. Patton
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08-28-2001, 03:41 PM
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#22 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: London, England is my primary residence, Then Arconia.
Posts: 292
| If rhino horn is an aphrodisiac, Why then are they an endangered species?
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I'll shut up now.
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08-29-2001, 09:42 AM
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#23 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Dana Hall School, Wellesely, MA
Posts: 3,821
| These are not rhetorical questions....
not every question to which an answer is not desired is rhetorical.
People do not get enough schooling in rhetoric. And why don't they? Because there is no longer the emphasis on public speaking that there should be.
THAT is a rhetorical question.
That having been said, keep these questions coming. They are hilarious. Just don't call them rhetorical.
-m
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08-29-2001, 12:36 PM
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#24 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 698
| Thank you for the correction; I do like to sound like I can speak rather than just talk. Could you expand on this for me? What exactly is a rhetorical question, and what are these? I'm very curious now.
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It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protestor to burn the flag. - Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC
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08-29-2001, 12:56 PM
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#25 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Grand Rapids, MI, USA
Posts: 2,993
| Courtesy of George Carlin (again):
Why do Flammable and Inflammable mean the same thing? Either a thing Flamms or it doesn't Flamm...
Courtesy of Gallagher:
Why is there a Permanent Press setting on an iron? If it's permanently pressed, it shouldn't need ironing...
And my own:
Why are rabbit's feet considered lucky?
The rabbit had four of them, but that didn't save it.
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Nothing is more frightening than ignorance in action. | |
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08-29-2001, 01:17 PM
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#26 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2001 Location: (near Chicago)IL, USA
Posts: 532
| Rhetoric is the ART of oratory (speaking)
it invoves skill and effectiveness.
A rhetorical question is one that is used for effect with no real answer expected.
Dame/the English teacher
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CAUTION: The heart is a fragile thing. Handle with care.
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08-29-2001, 04:12 PM
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#27 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 698
| Thank you.
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It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protestor to burn the flag. - Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC
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08-30-2001, 02:10 AM
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#28 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: London, England is my primary residence, Then Arconia.
Posts: 292
| Inspired by moon's news
Why can small children walk, but only as long as they have a blanket/bottle/dummy/teddybear/potty in their hand? Baby drops object. Baby goes bump.
or:
Why did my 2 yr old nephew prefer to hear my sisters' Eminem c.d. to Bob the Builder? He'd cry to BtB, and dance to Eminemineminem.
(he couldn't understand the lyrics. Bloody hell. I can't understand the lyrics!)
[ 08-30-2001: Message edited by: SteveMcDonough ]
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I'll shut up now.
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08-30-2001, 05:57 AM
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#29 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 1999 Location: Australia - various
Posts: 2,756
| Steve,
BOB the Builder...
Can we fix it?
YES we CAN!
LA de da daH!
Can we fix it?
YES we CAN!
(Sorry everyone, I've been ill, and watching WAAAAAY to much daytime TV) 
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You may love me but you dont accept me. I dont want your love without your acceptance. | |
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08-30-2001, 08:45 AM
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#30 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Pacoima, ca USA
Posts: 5,977
| Why do they call it "rush hour" when nothing moves?
Thank you, Robin Williams | 
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09-01-2001, 10:34 PM
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#31 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 698
| How can anybody be so sick, twisted, and evil, that they have to rape a person? Let alone their YOUNGER SISTER??? How is this possible in a "human"?
Sorry...you can go back to the light-hearted stuff now.
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It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protestor to burn the flag. - Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC
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09-02-2001, 12:40 PM
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#32 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: The great U.S.ofA.
Posts: 1,362
| 'Could you see John Wayne Doing Macbeth?' *Starts to srtut and talk like john*
'Well is this a Dagger I see bEfor MEY?'
Sorry thats not a question, but someone said Robin Williams, and I just went with it. Anyone seen D.P.S?
--------------------
Carpe Diem
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"Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory." - George S. Patton
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09-02-2001, 10:00 PM
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#33 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: London, England is my primary residence, Then Arconia.
Posts: 292
| WOO!
I was right. George Carlin has a beard. Was he the same George Carlin as Rufus?
Steve.
By the way...
Why don't you ever see a dead pigeon? There's millions. Are they immortal?
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I'll shut up now.
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09-04-2001, 01:04 AM
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#34 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Visalia, Ca
Posts: 343
| How's this: Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? | |
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09-04-2001, 05:39 AM
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#35 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Grand Rapids, MI, USA
Posts: 2,993
| And this one, courtesy of someone I can't recall:
If you shoot a mime, do you have to use a silencer?
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Nothing is more frightening than ignorance in action. | |
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09-04-2001, 06:28 PM
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#36 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 698
| If a mime is walking in a forest, and a tree falls on it, does anybody care?
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It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protestor to burn the flag. - Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC
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09-05-2001, 02:33 PM
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#37 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2000 Location: Madison Heights, Mi
Posts: 141
| Ok guys - I tried and I tried, but I just can't help it--keep in mind I am NOT a man-basher(except onthe strip of course)
If a man speaks in the woods
And there is no woman around to hear him
Is he still wrong??
Thanks, I feel better now!!!!! 
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Stanna
Renaissance Fencing Club
Madison Heights, Mi
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09-05-2001, 06:35 PM
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#38 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 698
| Quote:
Originally posted by Iwant2bafencer:
<STRONG>Lol! That's a good one!
Second: If the #2 pencil is the #1 pencil used. Then why is it still #2?
Third: (No offence to any guys.) If a man is standing in the middle of a forest talking and there is no woman around to hear him is he still wrong?</STRONG>
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Sorry ladybug...nothing wrong with gender jokes, but somebody beat ya to it!
__________________
It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protestor to burn the flag. - Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC
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09-05-2001, 08:10 PM
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#39 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Grand Rapids, MI, USA
Posts: 2,993
| A woman always has the last word in any arguement.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of the NEXT arguement... 
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Nothing is more frightening than ignorance in action. | |
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09-05-2001, 08:46 PM
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#40 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 698
| Okay...I would like some feedback on this one.
We know that cats always land on their feet.
We know that toast always lands butter-side down.
What happens if you tie buttered toast to a cat's back, then chuck it out a window?
__________________
It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protestor to burn the flag. - Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC
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