Ego recovery?

[Morion]

Last weekend I attended the Rocky Mountain Sectionals. This was my first "large" tournament. Now I didn't have major expectations but figured I could possible make it into the middle of the pack. Instead I found myself getting slapped around like a red headed step-child. I couldn't do anything right. I was getting beaten by people that I was sure I could normally have taken without any trouble. Instead I ended up with a secure lock on DFL. Now I find that my enthusiasm for tournaments is "somewhat diminished". So, should I "get back on that horse" and risk getting spanked again or hold back and try again next season? I'm not normally that fragile an ego, but this was embarassing!

[keith]

ego meet reality.

reality meet ego.

Now make sure that after they are formally introduced they have a good chat, or else life gets filed with all sorts of strife, angst and untenable expectations .

[jBirch]

Ah yes, the first tourny "b itch slapping". *grin* Nothing to do about it but go to another tourny.

James.

[Purple Fencer]

Read the first line in your sig block....

I ALSO came in DFL at my first big tourney...it happens. Now you know what to expect.

[Fencergrl]

Tournaments are wayyyy different than club bouts. The only way to deal with it is to lick your wounds and go to some more tournaments.

It's rough, but almost all of us go through this at one point or another.

[remise]

Also, there is that *bump* in fencing where you have attended a couple "good" tournaments, done reasonably well, and then attend a tourney where you can't seem to hit the @$$ end of an elephant.

I came in last at some early competitions, and I handled that ok, but it's the comp where you expect to do reasonably well, and find your @$$ getting kicked from one end of the strip to the other that can REALLY sting.

[HDG]

After the emotional equivalent of the feeling you get after being kicked right square in the nuts goes away, realize that although it's a trite old cliche, this was a learning experience. Use a bad experience as the impetus to work harder so it won't be repeated.

If your coach was there, ask him or her what you were doing wrong and what you were doing right. If you were using everything you know and doing so correctly, but to no avail, you were just simply out-classed, but you can use those foundations to build upon. There are always going to be more experienced competitors you'll have to face.

If you were doing things wrong, go back to basics in your training, fix whatever you were doing wrong, and then proceed to refine your technique, timing, distance, etc. The most important thing is to talk to your coach and don't be too hard on yourself.

[RoninX]

Did you have a coach/teamates/clubmates or friends at this tourney? Anyone who can give you some feedback? Getting rocked in your first ever tourney is a pretty universal experience unless you are fortunate enough to train at a salle with a wide variety of skilled fencers you will almost always run into something foreign that you don't deal with well.

It is this ability to deal with varying styles, tactics, and skill levels that seperates success in tourney from success in club bouting. Having outside feedback can often help you over this hump.

[Poulet]

You have to learn to see the positive side of these things.

Being as bad as you are, nobody cares how you do, so nobody really noticed that you came in DFL until you went and announced it to the world. Your ego may be hurt, but your reputation remains unchanged.

[Morion]

Originally Posted by Poulet

You have to learn to see the positive side of these things.

Being as bad as you are, nobody cares how you do, so nobody really noticed that you came in DFL until you went and announced it to the world. Your ego may be hurt, but your reputation remains unchanged.

I expected as much from you Pullet!

[Purple Fencer]

Originally Posted by Poulet

You have to learn to see the positive side of these things.

Being as bad as you are, nobody cares how you do, so nobody really noticed that you came in DFL until you went and announced it to the world. Your ego may be hurt, but your reputation remains unchanged.

Until now, that is....

[larry hurdiss]

LOL...
"what they said"!
seriously, there is another thread, in the "watercooler" corner. something about "Fencing is like......"
no matter what you choose to measure, there will always be " better and worse", "more or less"...etc..
by all means, get back on that horse and ride...
Above my desk, at work < yes, i am sneaking in here from work > is the famous quote attributed to Teddy Roosevelt..
with apologies i offer it to you and any others who might like it.

" The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, who's face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows the triumph of high achievements; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat" Theodore Roosevelt

lol....go be a "rough rider"!!!

[parrythis]

I don't know if this will help, but I go through a process I call "checking my ego at the door". It's a concept I learned at one of those fuzzy management training courses. At the start of the course, we all wrote the words "My Ego" on a post-it note and went and literally stuck it on the classroom door. Then we went back in with the intention of learning something without our egos getting in the way.

I find it helpful to still do this - at a conceptual level. I mentally step outside myself and try to look at what happened and analyze what specific things went wrong and what specific things I could have done differently (not necessisarily better) that might have helped. By looking at these things as a third party would, I take the "ego" out of the picture.

If I can take something positive away from an experience - something that will help me next time, it helps to balance out the negatives.

[Poulet]

Originally Posted by Morion

Last weekend I attended the Rocky Mountain Sectionals. This was my first "large" tournament. Now I didn't have major expectations but figured I could possible make it into the middle of the pack. Instead I found myself getting slapped around like a red headed step-child. I couldn't do anything right. I was getting beaten by people that I was sure I could normally have taken without any trouble. Instead I ended up with a secure lock on DFL. Now I find that my enthusiasm for tournaments is "somewhat diminished". So, should I "get back on that horse" and risk getting spanked again or hold back and try again next season? I'm not normally that fragile an ego, but this was embarassing!

Let me get this straight. You don't have a fragile ego. You came in DFL. You are mortified. You are considering never going to a tournament again.

Your plan: Not to come in DFL again.

You are a selfish jerk. If you don't come in DFL someone else will. Someone who almost certainly has a more fragile ego than you. That person will then be entirely discouraged from ever going to a tournament again. Without competitions to look forward to, the fencer would likely peter off and quit after a couple months.

What does this mean for fencing in your section? It means that you're going to be responsible for making fencers quit!

There is only one solution to this. You have to take one for the team. Come in DFL at every tournament you go to.

Remember, if you don't come in DFL, God kills a fencer.

[Fencergrl]

Originally Posted by Poulet

Remember, if you don't come in DFL, God kills a fencer.

Can I choose the fencer?

[Happy Feat]

Wow, DFL. Thats bad. Scale back the quality of the tournaments you are entering. Fence local ones. Work on your footwork. A lot.

[academe]

Ok, what you need is a good inspirational poster. I always purchase mine through Thinkgeek.com...I looked through the ones they offer and this one seemed to fit:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/posters/32c9/

Seriously though. I looked through your pool results and have this to offer: There were some pretty experienced cagey fencers in that pool. This was also a sectional qualifier, so the competition level (for one of your first tournaments) is light years beyond a local tournament. I know the Arizona fencing scene and it is important to get out and do competitions beyond your club and city. Strip time, especially out of state, or in larger, more diverse tournaments than most of the local or divisional ones, is important to really get a sense of how good you might be or for improving.

You can also get some additional experience by traveling up to Phoenix going to clubs there now and again to learn from other fencers. Most of them will allow guests at reasonable floor fees.

Good luck...and I'll leave you with this motivational poster to try and reduce some of your despair:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/posters/32d3/

[achilleus]

Originally Posted by Morion

Last weekend I attended the Rocky Mountain Sectionals. This was my first "large" tournament. Now I didn't have major expectations but figured I could possible make it into the middle of the pack. Instead I found myself getting slapped around like a red headed step-child. I couldn't do anything right. I was getting beaten by people that I was sure I could normally have taken without any trouble. Instead I ended up with a secure lock on DFL. Now I find that my enthusiasm for tournaments is "somewhat diminished". So, should I "get back on that horse" and risk getting spanked again or hold back and try again next season? I'm not normally that fragile an ego, but this was embarassing!

You're so embarassed that you come here and tell us of your result? Giving us enough information to find the pool results of the tournament?

Don't take this the wrong way, but if you're that embarassed, and you're enthusiasm is that low, then maybe competition isn't for you. I mean when I suck at a tournament, I buy the tournament shirt, and hang it on my wall across from my bed. Every morning, the sight of that shirt reminds me of my poor performance. It gets me up, gets me to the gym, and is usually a great shirt to work out in.

In other words, my poor performance motivates me to work harder to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

[RoninX]

Originally Posted by achilleus

Don't take this the wrong way, but if you're that embarassed, and you're enthusiasm is that low, then maybe competition isn't for you. I mean when I suck at a tournament, I buy the tournament shirt, and hang it on my wall across from my bed. Every morning, the sight of that shirt reminds me of my poor performance. It gets me up, gets me to the gym, and is usually a great shirt to work out in.

So uhh... how many work out shirt DO you have?

[achilleus]

Originally Posted by RoninX

So uhh... how many work out shirt DO you have?

From my early days, quite a few. Not so many from the later tournaments...