Equipment Abuse

[SteveMcDonough]

Come on, 101 uses for equipment when you're not fencing or it's too damaged to use?

Swords:

Switching electrical equipment on/off?

Typing messages while you're 6 feet away from the keyboard?

Masks:

Make a great sieve!

Any ideas? I'm gonna start a website.

[Moonitic]

mask: pasta strainer
babysitting headgear for protection
against overly rambunctious children

bag (mine is the Jimmy Hoffa Special from Triplette): body removal

sabre: animal/child/spouse trainer

[Christopher J Umbs]

Blades - daggers
Masks - testing equipment for blade penetration experiments

[Gav]

I use an old epee guard to keep my ponytail bands in.

One person I know discovered (to his horror) that masks make great containers for vomit - yuck!

Broken epee and foil blades make good practice parrying daggers (for those in to historical/classical fencing).

If you still have the elastic straps on your breeches I imagine they would make a great baby bouncer. Just attach to a door et voila!

Breast protectore are great frisbees (try it!).

[Moonitic]

ahh...breast protectors serve as many wonderful things. You can do a lot of imitations with them (Mickey Mouse, a fly...). We did it to keep people occupied at the Ren Fest this year before the show. They loved it! Simple people...

[MikeHarm]

You can make Shish-kebob's with broken foil blades too. They have some recipes for that in The Compleat Light Weapons Fighter book. :-)

Mike

[Zelda]

I'm with the masks as a seive thing....
French Grip handles make great levers and things to break glass with. 3 bare blades make a great tepee frame, full wheeled bags are great from dumping on peoples toes. Blades could also be temp. splints for broken bones. Fencing shoes are good for keeping creeping crawlies out your room (they cant stand the smell!).

[SteveMcDonough]

Oh yes.. Thanks to GAV, I just thought of another one...

Take a foil/epee guard, plug up the hole in the middle and hey!

a nice, shiny ashtray!

Website'll be built when i get ms office going... Frontpage sux.

Keep em coming!

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Lunge... Get back up... Lunge... Turn round and face opponent... Need practise!

[JWS]

I thought about just sharpening the point on my epee to intimidate lawyers who appear before me.

[neevel]

Nah--

For lawyers something like a Del Tin 2161 two-hander would be much more satisfying.



(I don't know if Craig has the UBB image tag enabled, figured I'd give it a try)

-Dave Neevel

[neevel]

Cool, it worked! This may be the start of something...

Oh, and I mistyped the model number, it's the 2162. Still, just the thing for a big, fat trial attorney in an Armani suit stepping out of a gold-trimmed LS400 (ever heard the one about the priest, the cab driver and the lawyer...? ).

-Dave

[SteveMcDonough]

What's this about the cabbie priest etc??

[neevel]

Ok, spinning this thread totally off topic
(and b.t.w., I got this from a lawyer-- they're often the biggest collectors of lawyer jokes):

There's this cab driver whose one and true passion in life is running down lawyers with his cab. He can spot them from half a mile away, and has already filled up one fender with little stencils of briefcases to mark each kill. One fine afternoon he's shuttling a priest to a hospital visitation with a parishoner when he spots it: a bronze colored Lexus with gold trim pieces and a vanity license plate that says LAW pulling into a parking space along the street. His pulse quickens and the killer instinct takes over. He moves into the right lane and begins gathering speed. The door of the Lexus swings open-- out steps a big, juicy target in an Armani suit. Our cab driver is pressing in for the kill when he remembers who's in the back seat. As much as he wants to, he just can't do this in the presence of a man of the cloth. He swerves to the left, but still feels the loud, squishy thud of well-fed flesh against sheet metal. He comes to a stop. With a trembling voice, he says "Father, I tried to swerve out of the way, but it was just too late." The priest answers "Don't worry. You did just miss him, but I was able to swing the back door open and nail him anyway."


-Dave

[SteveMcDonough]

Funny! haha

I'm after one of those del-tins..
Either that one, or one of the other two handed claymores. The new Braveheart's nice.

Anyway.

You could use a broken foil blade to scratch limbs in plaster..


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Lunge... Get back up... Lunge... Turn round and face opponent... Need practise!

[neevel]

Actually, I've read a number of reviews of the Braveheart that say it's bit point-heavy and rather vibration-prone. Go with the 2162 and catch the next flight to Florida-- I hear there's good lawyer huntin' down there roundabouts now .

-Dave

[eternal109]

being point heavy and having bad vibrations is fairly typical of claymores.

Foils make great hotdog/marshmellow roasters, and if they're complete the bell protects your hand from the heat a bit.

[SteveMcDonough]

The thread seems to have stopped!

Sabre Guards mounted to bycicle handlebars protect fingers from insects/grit/crashes.

2 crossed sabres in a prominent place make for a damn good burglar deterrent. (No-one messes with a sabrist).

Keep it up!



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I stink of sweat,& I Like getting stabbed.
I LOVE IT!

[neevel]

Actually, the 'Braveheart' is not a really a claymore. The classic two-handed claymore would also post-date the time of Wallace by 2-3 centuries, and the movie sword is also of a style that's post-period. The filmmakers basically asked Fulvio Del Tin to engage in a bit of imagination as to what a 'pre-claymore' might look like, and not worry too much about making it jibe with what would've actually been in use at the time. Just one of the many, many factual faults you can find with 'Mad McMax: Beyond Sporrandom' (such as Scots wearing kilts at a time before kilts actually existed, or the bridge-free 'Battle of Sterling Bridge').

Being vibration prone wouldn't have been a common feature of any real sword meant for use. Bad harmonic balance is bad harmonic balance, and someone purchasing a weapon wouldn't have accepted it. It _is_ a common feature of many lower end repro or wall-hanger swords.

Back on topic, another use for Sabre guards: emergency replacement for a cup when a guy finds that he's left his at home (yes, I did see someone do this at a tournament once).

-Dave Neevel

[ReticMaster]

I can make daggers from broken sabers.

[Mr_Foilist]

Back on topic, another use for Sabre guards: emergency replacement for a cup when a guy finds that he's left his at home (yes, I did see someone do this at a tournament once).

Ewwwwwwwwwwww. What did he do with the narrow, curvy part of the guard? There's only one place where that could've gone (disgusting description will be left out). I think that people that don't like wearing cups for the comfort issue would readily wear one if the sabre guard was the alternative. Ouch, and eww, and eww again.