100% True Facts About Dan Kellner

[MyrddinsPrecint]

Who's Dan Kellner?

Was a graphic designer for the “Rosie O’Donnell Show” and received two Daytime Emmy Award nominations for “Achievement in Main Title Design.”


Is a New York Yankees fan {tsk tsk, Dan Kellner.....}



http://www.usolympicteam.com/26_19524.htm

[D'Art]

Who's Dan Kellner?

*Stands up*
I'm Dan Kellner!

[RebelFencer]

No! I am Dan Kellner!

[KD5MDK]

Will the Real Dan Kellner please take Gold?

[MyrddinsPrecint]

Will the Real Dan Kellner please take Gold?

Y'all act like you've never seen an Olympian before.......

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

I..... am dan kellner.

[needle]

I..... am dan kellner.

hear me roar ...

[ThatReallyHurt]

... could Spartacus flick?

[Frank Pratt]

The real Dan Kellner would never stand up and identify himself. The sound of his voice would kill us all.

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

Q: When doing barbell squats, what rep/weight does Dan Kellner fail at?

A: TRICK QUESTION! Dan Kellner NEVER fails.

[mrbiggs]

Even Dan Kellner's foils pass shim. Not because they have to, but because...I can't think of anything funny to put here.

Dan Kellner doesn't own a die for unthreaded tangs, because he can thread them with his teeth.

One time between pool bouts, Dan Kellner ran out of tip screws, so he made a new one out of an empty soda can using only a plastic spoon. This tip screw lasted for 4,000 years, and is now an exhibit at the Smithsonian.

Dan Kellner doesn't get touches, he gets kills.

Webster Dictionary invented a letter called "fleeb," which is before A in alphabetical order, simply to prerank Dan Kellner more accurately in tournaments. Dan Kellner is currently a Fleeb 07, because let's face it, we all know he'll earn it next year.

The book of Revelations is now suspected to be loosely based on a tournament Dan Kellner attended, though this is unverified, as none of the witnesses are still alive.

Dan Kellner knows why we have a monkey emoticon.

[MyrddinsPrecint]

Dan Kellner owns Mandelorian Armor.

[Black Jeebus]

Luke Skywalker didn't destroy the Death Star with a proton torpedo, he actually shot Dan Kellner at it. Dan Kellner used the power of the flick to make the Death Star explode. To date Dan Kellner is the only man strong enough in the force to be able to flick a lightsaber.

[Zilverzmurfen]

When Dan Kellner is in a bad mood, even the milk goes sour...

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

Wow, some of these are pretty awesome. Alot of them are better than the chuck norris jokes actually.

[stealingophelia]

I thought that was Dupree and Tiomkin?

i was fairly certain they didnt beat the 7+ hour bout back in the day, in terms of length. This was at camp last summer i've been hearing about it everyday haah

[Beowulfman6]

To date Dan Kellner is the only man strong enough in the force to be able to flick a lightsaber.

Wow, this one takes the cake!

[Grasshopper]

The massive mud slide in the Philippines was actually caused by Dan Kellner farting while flying back from a world cup.

[pigeonmeister]

Cliff Bayer was better!

[sjpfencer220]

I'm not a comedian or anything but these are pretty funny, make more please!