100% True Facts About Dan Kellner

[Beowulfman6]

When Dan Kellner's oponents score it's only becouse Kellner's attacks were too fast for the box to notice them.

Actualy, with the new timings even I can do this!

[the doc]

dan kellner's not as good as richard kruse.

(see athens 2004 for details)

don't want you getting carried away and all.

[Mr T]

In a bout between Dan Kellner and Richard Kruse, Dan Kellner stuck his foil into Richard's mouth, lifted him up with one arm, and said "You killed my people, forced them to pay big tea tax" and with that, he punctured Richards throat, and then scalped him Jew-Cherokee style, because everyone knows that Dan is jewish, and also a cherokee warrior. In fact, they are going to name a new ethnicity after him, "Jewokee".

[Black Jeebus]

dan kellner's not as good as richard kruse.

(see athens 2004 for details)

don't want you getting carried away and all.

Jeers for you buddy! Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[Mr T]

Dan Kellner is the reason we have FIE gear. Don't ask stupid questions.

Dan Kellner pities the fool!

Once, Dan Kellner took the 9 pm bus home. He hasn't given it back yet.

There is an element missing from the periodic table of the elements. Its the element of suprise, and its symbol is Dk.

Dan Kellner has a kid - every night for a snack.

Dan Kellner killed adolph hitler.

Parkay is made from Dan Kellners victims.

[Epee Scherma]

In a bout between Dan Kellner and Richard Kruse, Dan Kellner stuck his foil into Richard's mouth, lifted him up with one arm, and said "You killed my people, forced them to pay big tea tax" and with that, he punctured Richards throat, and then scalped him Jew-Cherokee style, because everyone knows that Dan is jewish, and also a cherokee warrior. In fact, they are going to name a new ethnicity after him, "Jewokee".

Wow. That one was awesome dude.


It's common knowledge that DK could have wrecked Richard Kruse in Athens, but DK gave Kruse pity touches since he hardly gets as much poontang.

[Mr T]

Dan Kellner uses 800n condoms. This is to protect the woman not from pregnancy, but from his phallus, which could level NYC if he took it out and did a 360 degree turn.

[MyrddinsPrecint]

Dan Kellner uses 800n condoms. This is to protect the woman not from pregnancy, but from his phallus, which could level NYC if he took it out and did a 360 degree turn.

i wonder how many newtons condoms are supposed to withstand........

[Mr T]

Dan Kellner is powerful enough to obliterate normal condoms by just holding the package. Now that is power!

[Epee Scherma]

i wonder how many newtons condoms are supposed to withstand........

Only 4 newtons. DK tested it himself a week ago. As for the woman... her body is reportedly in orbit around the Earth.

Here is a 100% true fact about DK that needs no exaggeration (and surprisingly no one has mentioned):

He and Jon Tiomkin has fenced the longest fencing bout recorded in the history of the world!

[KD5MDK]

i wonder how many newtons condoms are supposed to withstand........

Have you ever read Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex?

[Mr T]

In a fencing match between Dan Kellner and Superman, superman failed to report to strip, in fear, and was black carded. Being offended, Dan Kellner left the strip to go kick Supermans ***, and refused to go back to the strip, despite the referees orders. This is the REAL reason why Dan Kellner was black carded at NAC D.

[Black Jeebus]

All of the events depicted in the movie Predator are based on a trip Dan Kellner once made to Central America. The only thing they changed in the movie is how the Predator dies. In real life Dan Kellner fleched it so hard in the back that the Predator literally exploded.

[RebelFencer]

Metallica was at a fencing competition where DK was competing. After watching one of his bouts they went and wrote the song "Seek and Destroy."

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

Dan Kellner is the 5th horseman.

[sabreur]

Dan Kellner is actually a sabreur who is just playing around with foil.

[Beowulfman6]

Here is a 100% true fact about DK that needs no exaggeration (and surprisingly no one has mentioned):

He and Jon Tiomkin has fenced the longest fencing bout recorded in the history of the world!

I thought that was Dupree and Tiomkin?

[Schiavona]

Dan Kellner can't keep it up! The USFA website, that is, and during JO's to boot!

It'a up now. Thanks Dan, I wanted to check on the kids.

[RITFencing]

There is an errata on rule t.122 that reads "A referee may not appeal Dan Kellner's decision on a point of fact."

Lazarus rose from the dead because Dan Kellner touched him; he just let Jesus take the credit out of pity.

[Zilverzmurfen]

Who's Dan Kellner?