100% True Facts About Dan Kellner

[Dan H]

Dan Kellner once survived viewing every link in the "Silly URL of the Day" thread in quick succession.

[Redblade]

REMINDER:

See how many you can come up with without ripping off the "100 facts about chuck norris / vin diesel / mr t" sites.

[RebelFencer]

When forming his legendary punk band, Jello Biafra was originally going to call it the Dan Kellners. When Dan caught wind of this he proceeded to "dispatch" of the Kennedy family...Jello read between the lines.

[Mr Epee]

Chuck Norris would never submit himself to circumcision

Plus, Chuck Norris would never sign a recall petition

[Mr Epee]

Dan Kellner once survived viewing every link in the "Silly URL of the Day" thread in quick succession.

Because USFencing.org was never available to the general public

[fatfencer]

What occasioned this thread...did dan win something or was this all just a lark?

Anyhoo...


If Jesus wears a bracelet that says wwdkd then when He swears does He say "Dan Kellner!!!"??

Along those lines...when people take the Lords name in vain they often add a middle initial........ does Jesus say " Dan H. Kellner!!!"?

Dan Kellner is a Magrathean (sp?)(Adams-ism)

FatZorro

[Epee Scherma]

Nations argue at FIE congress because they say Dan Kellner broke the new foil timings.

[Epee Scherma]

DK doesn't know what the white light means. He's never had one.

[Redblade]

Screaming during a bout: Actually orgasms triggered by asking, "How Would Dan Kellner Fence?"

[pgepps]

Dan Kellner wasn't born like most babies -- he fleched.

That is *SO* choice.

[ChrisBrasel]

Dan Kellner invented fencing when he wanted to play with his morningwood all day

[Redblade]

Dan Kellner's sweat tops the banned performance-enhancing substances list.

[seak]

Dan Kellner can hit you while still standing on guard

You don't even have to be fencing Dan Kellner to lose to him; he can beat you from acroos the room

[Spike327]

Dan Kellner is the mysterious 'dark energy' that makes up 70% of our universe.

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

During the revolutionary war, Dan Kellner diguised himself as George Washington, and held all the Red Coats hostage in exchange for fencing gear. Upon recieving this fencing gear, he proceeded to execute them with a swift flick to the spinal cord. This is why the british hate the americans.

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

Contray to popular belief, it was Dan Kellner who drank from the holy grail, not jesus.

[jBirch]

Don't know the guy, but...

Once, Dan Kellner broke his blade due to the insufficiency of matter to handle the energy created during his flick. His opponent thought he had an advantage until Dan Kellner broke off the opponent's arms and fenced with the bloody stumps.

[Frank Pratt]

The force is strong in this one.

[jeff]

Dan Kellner can gesture at a computer screen and a website will magically form

(I had to change the context... )

[Morion]

1.3 Billion Chinese want to fence Dan Kellner. Sounds like a fair fight.

(OK I ripped it off but it is the best I can come up with! )