Funny things coaches say

[counter riposte]

Coach: "Take the blade and hit her Marie!"
Fencer: -looks back at coach- "I'm not Marie!"....
BEEP.
Distracted fencer hit by opponent.
Coach: "Oh man, I'm gonna pay for that one."

[KShan5[PrFC]]

When trying to get a young sabre fencer to loosen up on strip my coach has yelled "Fence Like a Noodle!"

[Got_Fenced_In]

Well, my coach speaks english.


But he is one HELL of a funny guy and constantly cracking us up...

I have a lot of stories

[Warrior Princess]

The best (not funniest) thing that my coach has ever said is in my sig. "Don't trick yourself into thinking you suck". I wrote a college essay on it (along with some other things he's said). He calls the varsity women's foil team his "candy mountain rangers", and he likes to give his fencers individual nicknames. I am Warrior Princess/Princess Godzilla/Princess Stumbalina of the Candy Mountain Rangers. Other people that are/were on my team are Princess Mothra, Princess Fruitmeat/Princess Butterhead, Princess Unicorn Face, Princess Candy Pants and Princess Sardine. Some of the guys are/were Wookie, Walrus, Mr Bubbles, Mr Groovie, Sponge Head, Gumball, Mr Peacock, and many more.

[Allen Evans]

Once, while giving a lesson to me, Maestro Stawicki made a trap that I clumsily fell for, and he parried my counter-attack and hit me in the head.

He said loudly: "Is Christmas? It must be, you give me a present!"

Last year, at a NAC, I watched a saber fencer struggle in his pool. He came forward to make an attack, changed his mind, and got hit in prep as he restarted. His coach, standing by the side of the strip, yelled: "What is this?! What is your plan!? You must have plan!"

On the next action, the fencer attacked so strongly that he lost his balance and fell over.

"This is not a plan!" said his coach, shaking his head and walking away.

Allen Evans

[bruisedfleche]

I had a lesson with new coach from Europe. She said "en garde". She then looked at me and said "What's this? Why you do this? Did someone teach you this or you make this up on your own? OY!"

My old coach was with me during a DE. My point kept falling short time and time again. He was getting frustrated and after one hit fell horribly short, he yelled "RUN HER THROUGH!!!".

I also had a non-fencing instructor who passed on a handy tidbit. I said "yeah, but doen't that hurt?" and he replied "yeah, but it's not my pain".

[TBean]

When we cannot seem to grasp what Coach is trying to teach, he will start giving instructions in one of the four other languages he speaks. If he makes it to Arabic you may as well salute and call it a night.

[Warrior Princess]

My primary coach, the one I talked about above, also uses non-verbals. His favorite, when he wants me to concentrate better, is to pull his lower eyelid down with his index finger and look over his glasses at me. He started doing it to other students too. I didn't know it untill recently, but none of them knew what it meant untill I told them. This was about a week ago, he's been doing it for about a year.

[Rin]

Coach #3- When speaking of an attempted parry from too far away;

"You might as well be trying to hit them with a wet noodle. But at least the noodle would be better because you could throw it at them. Get stuck in their mask and all ... "



Coach #2- Coach to me in a kindly voice: "It's okay to be a foilist."
Me to Coach in a kindly voice: "It's okay to be an epeeist."
Like therapy or something.




Coach #1- My head coach, who I imagine as a large, growly lion that could eat you but is also quite caring;

"There she is, the killer."

He makes me sound so ferocious. I'm not sure what kind of fencer I'd turn out to be without him.

[Zilverzmurfen]

Hungarian coach explaining (in choppy english) that her foot went before her arm in lunges:

"You have a shoe problem."