02-22-2006, 05:05 AM
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#21 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: UK
Posts: 100
| /me does about 4 feints and gets hit during process
Coach: What the hell are you doing?
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Welcome to the desert of the real.
Peace! | 
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02-22-2006, 05:27 AM
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#22 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 376
| During a lesson on the fleche, the other night...
"REACH, you sonofab1tch, REACH!"
I had never heard my coach use anything ... that serious, in terms of swearing. I mean, I know he knows all the words - he's from ... somewhere in New York, and if I put the wrong borough he'll kill me, but still, never heard him use them!
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Sabre chicks are cutting edge  | |
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02-22-2006, 06:26 PM
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#23 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: 40D 34' 7.046" N by 74D 26' 23.503" W
Posts: 766
| I get to hear plenty of coaches from the side of the strip....
"What are you thinking..... THINK HARDER"
"Don't lose...."
"Where is your mind? Certainly not here..."
(In the Middle of an Action during competition)
C: "Take to 4 and riposte..."
S: "Huh?" *BEEEEEEP*
(Gets hit by opponent while looking at his coach)
C: "Why aren't you CONCENTRATING????"
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Don't take life so seriously... You'll never live through it.
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02-22-2006, 06:59 PM
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#24 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: near Boston
Posts: 3,334
| Sometimes it is non-verbal.
My first coach, Lejos Csiszar, was merciless in teaching a closed line on guard.
He would turn his hand thumb down so his (old, flexible) blade would whip over and just keep making flank cuts.
When it stopped hurting, that was the on guard he wanted.
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It is now after July 4th. My avatar with the Xmas hat is no longer late.
It is now officially early.
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02-22-2006, 11:03 PM
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#25 | | Incorruptible
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NJ
Posts: 2,758
| Casually: "Nice shot to the floor."
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Fencing T-shirts available at Off-The-Piste Wear **New designs** including f.net themed designs for easy recognition of fellow f.netters at tournaments!
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02-22-2006, 11:11 PM
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#26 | | Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 89
| "No, the pointy end."
Oh and:
Me: "I'm probobly gunna be 30 minutes late to check in. Can i still fence if i pre-register?"
Coach: "Not a chance in hell" | |
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02-23-2006, 12:17 PM
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#27 | | the dark one
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: MA/NH line
Posts: 3,825
| "You think too much. Stop thinking." 
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"Let's see... take responsibility for my own life, or blame YOU? Ding ding ding ding ding! Blame you wins hands-down!" - Bowler Hat Guy, Meet the Robinsons | |
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02-23-2006, 05:56 PM
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#28 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 436
| Coach to Fencer: "If you do that again, I'll kill you."
Fencer doesn't move and stands completely still.
Coach: "Why aren't you moving?"
Fencer: "You didn't tell me what 'that' was and I don't want you to kill me." | |
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02-23-2006, 10:49 PM
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#29 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 1999 Location: Australia - various
Posts: 2,756
| Out of my mouth the other night to one of my new juniors....
"Are you a duellist or a fencer? I dont want duellists in my classes"
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You may love me but you dont accept me. I dont want your love without your acceptance. | |
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02-23-2006, 11:00 PM
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#30 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: USA
Posts: 869
| Intense, but not TEENNNSSEEE (coach starts gets a spazzy "tense" look)
another one:
Student asks a question
"DON'T ASK QUESTION, JUST DO ACTION"
Student does wrong action later again
"WHY YOU DO WRONG?"
"because i didn't understand your directions.."
"NEVER DO WITHOUT DIRECTION, ALWAYS ASK!"
Student looks forlorn
"you must have 3 boyfriend. One home, one here, one for extra. Very rich, where you can ask and he will give nice things. You must no have do anything, just have nice man take care of you. Look beautiful, have nice house." after about 10 minutes of things like this pauses, turns to the boys and says: "Men. You must WORK!" and walks away
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-Sabresque
"Those whippernsapper Be-Bop Bohemians!"
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03-22-2006, 03:43 PM
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#31 | | Just Joined
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Kasshyyk
Posts: 4
| If you parry they must be punished
(said in thick Russian/Hungarian/random, eastern European language)
Student: Why do the girls get to were a plate over thier chest?
Coach: If you had balls on your chest you'd wear one too.
$.02
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We few, we happy few, we band of monkeys;
For he to-day that loses his tip with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so spastic,
This day shall gentle his point control;
And gentlemen in USFA HQ now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us at Nationals.
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03-22-2006, 03:57 PM
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#32 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Cougar Country
Posts: 9,003
| Scene: 2 fencers and coach discussing women’s national team members
Coach with thick Eastern European accent: “I’m happy A is doing well, but B has always been my favourite, so I’m glad she did well also…. Even though she doesn’t have the right body for a fencer, I like her”
Fencer 1: “Right body?”
Coach: “Yeah her shoulders are larger than her butt” Coach walks away to his fencing bag.
Fencer 1 turns to fencer 2 and says, “Does that mean he thinks we need bigger butts to compensate for our shoulders”
Coach returns with a huge bar of chocolate and starts insisting we take some.
Both fencers look at each other and burst out laughing.
__________________
With special thanks to Mr. E...
“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.” - George Bernard Shaw | |
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03-22-2006, 03:57 PM
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#33 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 594
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by FencingKitten During a lesson on the fleche, the other night...
"REACH, you sonofab1tch, REACH!"
I had never heard my coach use anything ... that serious, in terms of swearing. I mean, I know he knows all the words - he's from ... somewhere in New York, and if I put the wrong borough he'll kill me, but still, never heard him use them! | That wasn't... PAUL, was it!?
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The pen may be mightier than the sword, but why pick just one?
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03-22-2006, 04:39 PM
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#34 | | Épéeist Hive Queen
Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Sweden
Posts: 12,772
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Fencergrl Scene: 2 fencers and coach discussing women’s national team members
Coach with thick Eastern European accent: “I’m happy A is doing well, but B has always been my favourite, so I’m glad she did well also…. Even though she doesn’t have the right body for a fencer, I like her”
Fencer 1: “Right body?”
Coach: “Yeah her shoulders are larger than her butt” Coach walks away to his fencing bag.
Fencer 1 turns to fencer 2 and says, “Does that mean he thinks we need bigger butts to compensate for our shoulders”
Coach returns with a huge bar of chocolate and starts insisting we take some.
Both fencers look at each other and burst out laughing. | So...what the coach means is that most men do not have the 'right bodies for fencing'..?
Interesting theory as it might be I think he's "out biking"...
(Swedish saying meaning "he's completely lost".)
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Fencing is my only PvP. | 
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03-22-2006, 05:26 PM
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#35 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Cougar Country
Posts: 9,003
| LOL... he had a horrible cold... it might have been the cold medication talking! It was funny....
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With special thanks to Mr. E...
“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.” - George Bernard Shaw | |
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03-22-2006, 09:27 PM
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#36 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Carlsbad, CA
Posts: 619
| My college sabre coach (Jim Carter) started me off in sabre with the "30-second sabre lesson":
"These are the parries: 3, 4, 5" (he demonstrates). "You don't know them, so don't use them. Just attack."
Then he turned me loose in my first-ever sabre tournament! | |
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03-22-2006, 10:22 PM
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#37 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: RPI (Troy, NY)
Posts: 928
| Rod: "I don't know if you've noticed yet, but you're a lefty."
Me: "I have, but it takes a while for my opponents sometimes."
Rod: "Well, I had trouble with that for years."
and
Rod: "You go beat up the epees with those moves, I need to yell at the foils."
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Sword-Chucks Yo!
The ref ALWAYS has right of way.
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03-22-2006, 11:53 PM
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#38 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: south of the (metro) tracks
Posts: 1,457
| Well, now that the floor is good and dead....aim higher!
Run, the Zombies are chasing you
Kill her till she's dead
GRRRR!
Why are you just standing here, that's your enemy right there. Let's go make friends. (walks over, dragging me by my jacket) Hi, we're here to make friends.
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I want to be remembered when I'm dead. I want books written about me. I want songs sung about me. And then, hundreds of years from now, I want episodes of my life to be played out weekly at half past nine by some great heroic actor of the age.
~Blackadder
Last edited by AndrastVitesse; 03-22-2006 at 11:58 PM.
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03-23-2006, 07:16 AM
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#39 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Amherst, MA and Franklin, MA
Posts: 2,514
| During an epee lesson, a clubmate missed the coaches hand and hit his big (very big) belly. Coach: Why'd you hit stomach? Student: It was closer target!! | |
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03-23-2006, 07:32 AM
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#40 | | Immortal
Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Heidelberg, GE
Posts: 5,488
| "Bout until your nose bleeds."
"How nice for you!" delivered in a heavily ironic tone after brain/body lock event in a lesson.
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Why sabre? Because you don't take heads with the point.
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