Things overheard

[Moses]

Here's a couple things I've overheard other people say in the last few weeks:

(someone reading one of those Chinese zodiac placemats you find at cheap buffets):

Hey, Sean, it says here you're the opposite of a (alternative word for a rooster). Do you know what that makes you?

and...

You think you've got problems? I like to pretend I'm a portly Southern woman who always calls people things like "darlin'" and "hon" and always smell like bread.

and...

Some guy: So, what do you want for Christmas?
Some girl: A giant piece of strawberry Pez. That thing will be SO gargantuan I could hollow it out and host a reality show inside.

and, finally, one involving me, after my buddy Sean's car died and we were rescued by his mechanic. The mechanic guy drove me home.

Mechanic: There's a bunch of junk on the floor. My car's real messy.

Me: That's ok, mine car is like that, too.

Mechanic: Yeah, but I'm willing to bet yours has a speedometer.

~~~~

Anyone have anything interesting to add?

-Da Mose

[Krazyhades]

I could go on forever about the things that my friends say. Especially things that can be interpreted in a way not intended...

[cornflower]

I lived in a residence for a while in HS, and I happened to look upon a conversation between three house parents (care counsellors), one was saying to the others:
"... and my hand flew to her breast and I was pretty much fondling it... oh crap, Victoria's watching us!"

[Aqua_volans]

my class being real lame went into sesame street in the middle of history lesson and someone went "big bird" and the teacher went like "you people are a lost cause! I really cannot believe how you can turn an innocents kid's show into a lewd topic?!"

[Black Jeebus]

I was walking around one of the universities nearby with a friend of mine, and we overheard this:

"Well, he was pretty good though. I mean he was British and telling us the joke in American and it was still funny. Although I'm sure it would have been funnier if he had told it in his native language!"

[Moses]

Something posted on inpassing.org (a great website, by the way, to while away the office hours) long, long ago:

A graffito carved into a desk:

I have the strength of a bear that has the strength of two bears!

-Da Mose

[latenight]

On a flight back from Boston. My thoughts in parenthesis.

Business Guy one: So I got these two lobsters at the airport to take home (holds up lobster travel pack) They are so much cheaper here (not really, the cost a ton at the airport)

Business Guy two: So what are you going to do with them at the hotel? Put them in the bathtub?

Business Guy one: No way man, the chlorine will kill them.

(I think the FRESH water would get them first, dumb%ss)

[Tazz]

Girl 1 - How do farmers mark their cows?

Girl 2 - They put a tag in their ear...

Girl 1 - WHAT!?! Cows have ears?

[Fencergrl]

Not overheard… a cranky old customer calls today demanding “What's wrong with my fax machine?” I said Nothing, what problem are you having?” He said “Every time he tries it call it’s busy”. I ask him what number he was calling... He said "The one on my paperwork!" So I ask him to read it out.... it was his fax number….

The same customer the other day complained about the price I quoted when I told him how many lineal feet it was. So I gave him the same price but told him the number of square feet in the roll… He replied “That’s much better, that other roll was too much”… This was after I told him it was the same roll…

My last conversation with a customer (the customer’s voice is in italics).

“Sales Department”
“Sales please”
“This is sales, can I help you?”… long pause… “Hello can I help you?”…
“Ah yeah I wanted to talk to someone in sales”…
“Yes, this is sales”.
“Are you sure????”

Ah... the fun of working in a non-traditional industry for women….. I really don't get paid enough some days...

[Black Jeebus]

I dunno, I worked in Gulfstream's purchasing dept for a while and my favorite suppliers were the ones with saleswomen instead of men.