Top ten signs you are in a poorly-run fencing club.
10 Your coach refers to the conductive vest as a "lame" not a lame '
9 Your club issued foil comes in a roll and says "Reynolds" on the box.
8 The ends of the strip butt up against the door to the outside fire escape and an overzealous retreat could result in "plummeting". (based on actual situation - the setup, not the plummeting)
7 When someone calls the club telephone, the scoring machines ring and flash.
6 Club dues can be paid in grocery coupons, bus transfers, livestock, or bags of hickory nuts. (To Kill A Mockingbird)
5 You enter the building and have to maneuver past rolls of barbed wire, chain link and wooden posts.
4 The inside of your club-issued jacket has "US Mail" stenciled on it.
3 Your "fencing mask" looks strangely like Casper the Ghost and is held on with a rubber band.
2 Footwork drills involve pushing your coaches car so he can start it to drive home.
1 Rather than practice, you write up "top ten" lists.
I had to do it....
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