01-16-2006, 09:46 PM
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#1 | | Din Älskling
Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Somewhere inside your head. Or am I?
Posts: 4,196
| If you think all politicians are blood-sucking parasites
This may be the candidate for you, if you live in Minnesota... http://articles.news.aol.com/news/ar...13091809990024
"Politics is a cut-throat business," said Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor Friday on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.
"I'm a satanist who doesn't hate Jesus," Sharkey told Reuters. "I just hate God the Father."
However, he claims to respect all religions and if elected, will post "everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed" in government buildings.
Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol.
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"Since when does being a patriot in America mean shutting your mouth?"
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zz,zz,zz,zz,zz,zz! | 
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01-16-2006, 11:09 PM
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#2 | | Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Somewhere in your nightmares!
Posts: 23,203
| Does he have a running mate by the name of Tarquin Fintimlinbinwhinbimlim Bus Stop Poontang Poontang Ole Biscuit-Barrel, by any chance? | |
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01-16-2006, 11:18 PM
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#3 | | Boom!
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Canada
Posts: 5,925
| And is represented in court by the lawfirm of Mousebat, Follicle, Goosecreature, Ampersand, Spong, Whapcapplet, Looseliver, Vendetta & Prang? 
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Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth. | |
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01-17-2006, 11:50 AM
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#4 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Birmingham UK
Posts: 849
| Any one found committing an act of terrorism in Minnesota will be IMPALED by me at the State Capital. If the US DOJ wants to prosecute me for it, then I will take my chances in Court, for I do not believe an American Jury will convict me of brutally killing a terrorist!
Sensible policies for a happier Minnesota? (although I think he might have misjudged the DOJ's stance on impalement)
But then what is this lefty stuff about Medical insurance and benefits for Veterans? 
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“Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.”
Adam Sandler
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01-17-2006, 12:50 PM
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#5 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Philly
Posts: 660
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by ThatReallyHurt And is represented in court by the lawfirm of Mousebat, Follicle, Goosecreature, Ampersand, Spong, Whapcapplet, Looseliver, Vendetta & Prang? | I thought they were an ad agency... I have some string I need to sell... | 
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01-17-2006, 02:37 PM
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#6 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: ---->
Posts: 2,087
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by pigeonmeister
Sensible policies for a happier Minnesota?
| You mean, "flogging servants, shooting poor people, and the extension of slavery to anyone who hasn't got a knighthood"?
Vote Adder Party.
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Just because you have the right, that doesn't mean it is right.
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01-18-2006, 05:24 AM
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#7 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Birmingham UK
Posts: 849
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Epee_Pox You mean, "flogging servants, shooting poor people, and the extension of slavery to anyone who hasn't got a knighthood"?
Vote Adder Party. | I'm very impressed!!
Black Adder- the 2nd best comedy series of all time (Fawlty Towers- number 1)
__________________
“Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.”
Adam Sandler
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