Dinner *****

[Epee_Pox]

Today's New York Post has an article (http://www.nypost.com/living/61368.htm) on the "Dinner Wh*re" phenomenon, about women who go out for dinner dates with zero intention of ever sleeping with or having any kind of relationship with the man who takes them out. Just getting free meals from dates.

As a happily married man, this phenomenon doesn't affect me. But I am entertained by the notion, and by the fact that the Post thought it was newsworthy. I wonder what others out there think about it.

And as a corollary question, isn't the phrase "dinner wh*re" somewhat a misnomer? After all, a prostitute is someone who gives sex in exchange for something. So I can see how a woman who provides sexual gratification in return for a free meal could be accurately termed a prostitute. But this phenomenon appears to refer to someone who makes an implied contract to act as a prostitute, but then reneges on the deal.

Anyway, your thoughts?

[mrbiggs]

slow news day?

[cornflower]

That sounds like a good idea. I'm a fan of food, and you know, it keeps me alive. I think I'd definitely do something like that.

[Dmitrivna]

yeah - they were def lacking material that day... I dont think I'd do it though, I'd just be uncomfortable with it.

[JackOfHearts]

Heh, kinda reminds me of this one lady friend I had in highschool. We wouldn't normally hang out outside of cutting our second period class, though she would let me buy her lunch on occasion.

[The Mormegil]

That sounds like a good idea. I'm a fan of food, and you know, it keeps me alive. I think I'd definitely do something like that.

When would you like to do dinner?

[Zelda]

Hey if all that is required is to enjoy food and look good where do I go to find these men???

[MyrddinsPrecint]

i think that it depends......

i think that any guy who seriously thinks he will get sex for buying a woman dinner SHOULD have something like this happen to him.

i also, however, think that any date that is in the "i'm still trying to decide if i like him in a romantic way" should at least be offered to be split by the woman. .... in fact, i'm personally more comfortable with things being split even past the "yes i do like him" phase, but i know that's not universal.....


not every first date concludes with the two people liking each other...... but when you BEGIN the date already not liking someone......

but, of course, if a nice meal is worth spending that time with someone you already know you don't like...............

but then again, it could be seen as giving someone a second chance you wouldn't ordinarily think about...........


all in all, i guess it would be fine in a "once per person" kind of thing. but i think that if you do it several times, where the guy thinks that he's getting somewhere, but the woman never intends for him to get anywhere..... then it's just Not Nice.

[latenight]

Hey if all that is required is to enjoy food and look good where do I go to find these men???

Well I'm in Chicago this week......heh

[Louweasel]

On the one hand, the idea that buying dinner for a woman somehow entitles a man to sex is rather repulsive.
However on the other hand, the idea tha a woman would make a calculated decision before a date that she wasn't going to see the guy ever again but would still go out with him to get a nice meal, is also repellent.
I agree that if a relationship is still in the trial a stages i.e. having a date or two to see how you get on, it would be proper for the lady to offer to go halves.

Bit of a slow news day though, clearly. Today's Evening Standard (a London newspaper) informs us that David Hasselhoff's 16-year marriage is over. Well, that's very sad, but is it news? I think not. Save it for the celeb gossip magazines.

[swordwench]

On the one hand, the idea that buying dinner for a woman somehow entitles a man to sex is rather repulsive.

Repulsive, maybe, but also a gamble. A male friend of mine in college insisted that you never take a woman out to dinner with the hope of her sleeping with you. You have sex with her, THEN take her out to dinner to REWARD her. Ironically, the guy was exteremely popular with the ladies. I never understood that (though he was super-hot...).

[JackOfHearts]

Repulsive, maybe, but also a gamble. A male friend of mine in college insisted that you never take a woman out to dinner with the hope of her sleeping with you. You have sex with her, THEN take her out to dinner to REWARD her. Ironically, the guy was exteremely popular with the ladies. I never understood that (though he was super-hot...).

Apparently, you understand more then you may realize.

[Larrison]

Today's New York Post has an article (http://www.nypost.com/living/61368.htm) on the "Dinner Wh*re" phenomenon, about women who go out for dinner dates with zero intention of ever sleeping with or having any kind of relationship with the man who takes them out. Just getting free meals from dates. [ ... ]

Dude... we used to call these "Saturday Night Girls"... They're the ones if you're dating who sort of insist that you take them out every week. Not just to go hang out, but somewhere nice and entertain them. Good meal in a classy place, plus a show plus coffee at least. Movies are class B to them -- they prefer the theatre or concerts or highlevel clubs or the like. But, other than that one night a week, or just going out somewhere to hang out? Forget it.... They want to be taken out, treated like a princess, and not be bothered during the rest of the week.

As a rule of thumb, they're usually very in shape (gym 3-4 nights a week), very well turned out (full make up, dress etc...), a working professional in a fairly high level and demanding job, and in general a nice dinner and theatre companion. Very much an ornament on your arm -- so if you're into that, they might be cool for you. Also usually quite skilled in the interpersonal arts that might occur at her place after the 2 of you return -- but you'll be out at first light. (So I might disagree with part of the description above..)

But there's not much future in that relationship -- they don't hang out with you just to be with you. You're there to be an ornament for them, and to provide them the setting they think they deserve, but only in social situations they approve of. Don't ever ask them to go hang out with your friends, or to watch a movie at your place while you order out something, or ghod-forbid, that you might want to go camping with them....

[fencergal33]

[QUOTE=Louweasel]On the one hand, the idea that buying dinner for a woman somehow entitles a man to sex is rather repulsive.
QUOTE]



Yes, but most men being the pigs that they are think that if a woman shows some cleavage, that entitles them to sex.......they don't really need a reason.

[achilleus]

On the one hand, the idea that buying dinner for a woman somehow entitles a man to sex is rather repulsive.

It is repulsive, and the only guys I've ever met that think that tend to be young, inexperienced, don't get dates often, and seem to be in the minority.

As for the article, did they do a companion piece on men who sleep with women, even though they don't want a relationship, or aren't interested in the woman.

Talk about stating the obvious...

[MyrddinsPrecint]

Dude... we used to call these "Saturday Night Girls"...

actually, i would call them geishas.......... but.... to each, his own.....

[Black Jeebus]

That sounds like a good idea. I'm a fan of food, and you know, it keeps me alive. I think I'd definitely do something like that.

Oh you just lost so many cool points in my book.

It's the "they have no interests at all in the guy" that bugs me though.

[Larrison]

actually, i would call them geishas.......... but.... to each, his own.....

Eh! Good point.. but hmm... I'd say no. Geishas are entertainers, and the perspective of these girls is not to entertain you, but that you are there to enhance their social life, not the other way around.. So .. not geishas.

[Gav]

So .. not geishas.

Yes.

Geishas were entertainers. You hired them to provide entertainment and, because of their expense, they were hired for important functions. You would not hire a Geisha with the specific aim to take to dinner and then to sex - that is a prostitute; probably a courtesan.

[PeterGustafsson]

Hi!


[QUOTE=fencergal33]

On the one hand, the idea that buying dinner for a woman somehow entitles a man to sex is rather repulsive.
QUOTE]

Yes, but most men being the pigs that they are think that if a woman shows some cleavage, that entitles them to sex.......they don't really need a reason.

As a blanket statement - yes, I do take offence at what you write there, Fencergal33. (where is that :somewhat offended: smilie?)

I like to look at cleavage, but I do not assume that any woman showing it is entitling me, or any other man than her spouse, to sex.

I know that there are some, not that many, men who think that way, but I do not want to bunched together with that minority without compelling incriminating evidence against me.