How will I die? (game)

[Westley]

PK42 is shot by me for killing this thread, and then tarred and feathered, cuz once a bostonian, always a bostonian, and we know how to kill people. And tar and feather them.

Don't mess with Boston.

[OROD]

The year is 2009. The place, just outside a movie theater playing the new Watchmen movie. After getting his hopes up for years, Westley is severely disappointed with the movie and in a fit of depression proceeds to take out his trusty Mac-10, aim it at his head, and unload a 30 round clip. Unfortunately, due to Westley's tragicaly bad aim, all bullets miss his head. However, he does succeed in killing 19 other moviegoers and wounding 5.

After the trial, the jury returns a guilty verdict in record time and subsequently all appeals are denied. He is sent to death row, awaiting the electric chair (which is re-instated for just this case, the judge having deemed lethal injection too humane for Westley). Finally, in a last twist of irony, on the day of the execution Westley falls in his cell hitting his head on the toilet and accidentally kills himself. The only thing that remains to mark his passing... a splatter of blood which, if you look at it long enough, looks like a butterfly.

"A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned?"

RIP

[Rabid Monk]

OROD will die in a tragic and indescribably horrid accident (atleast, we hope the situation arose by accident...) involving a spoon, two ducks, and an old, battered copy of War and Peace.

Please don't ask me to explain more. It'd give you nightmares.

[Tazz]

Ha! This was the first thread I ever made. Funny.

Ummm... Rabid Monk will be riding his donkey through the Saharah when a skydiver (who was blown off course) will fall on his head, resulting in massive internal bleeding... and death.

[Epee_Pox]

Inside a windowless room, with only one door, which was locked and bolted from the inside, Tazz's lifeless body will be found with a single gunshot wound to the head. There will be no gun in the room. The only contents of the room will be Tazz's body, clad only in an oversized T-shirt reading "Life Sucks and then you... Bye" and distinctive spattering from the gunshot. The wound will have no indicia of being fired at close range.

However, due to a complete lack of fictional consulting detectives in her town, the police will remain baffled and will quickly lose interest. Her remains, being unidentified, will be cremated and buried in an unmarked spot in the old municipal cemetery.

[Westley]

Epee Pox will, one day, decide that he needs to go to France. He will not know why this thought crosses his mind, but is sure as sure can be that he has to do this. He uses up the last of his savings and takes one ticket to the armpit of the world, France. While there he realizes how much France sucks, and soon goes to the nearest pub, a nasty old place that smells of body odor and old person sex, and there he will meet the girl of his dreams. She will be the most beautiful person not in the world- but to him- to him there will be no one more attractive in the whole wide world. He'll look at her for maybe half an hour, drinking only ginger beer, because she was only drinking ginger beer and if she wasn't drinking he didn't want to. He'll slide along the bar, ask her if she hates this place as much as he does. She'll say yes. She's an American too, and they soon end up at her hotel, her clothes quickly coming off, his still on, (Because that's the way he rolls) and for twenty minutes all the nearby guests can hear is the wooden bed slamming violently against the wall and screaming. Twenty minutes after that the women leaves the room, which is completely empty, including furniture, and completely covered in blood over every inch of the wall. There will be no body.

[matt9476]

After seven hours of vigorous "massaging," Westley drops dead of a heart attack in an adult movie theatre. Pee Wee Herman gives the eulogy at his funeral.

[Epee_Pox]

Matt will die in bed, at home, surrounded by his loved ones. They will then wash the blood off their daggers and throw a big party.