Are you a victim?

[Slim]

From the NY Daily News. True stories of victims:

Poor babies: The top victims of 2005


Nobody is responsible for anything anymore, since almost everyone is a victim. Here are the top victim stories of 2005:

Children of witches are victimized by Halloween. Coming to class dressed as a witch on Halloween is a violation of "equitable schools' policies," according to the Toronto district school board. The board said it feared "traumatic shock" if children treat "the Christian sexist demonization of pagan religious beliefs as 'fun.'"

British Muslims are victimized by Piglet and piggy banks. Novelty pig calendars, toys and even a tissue box featuring Winnie the Pooh and Piglet have been banned in the benefits department at Dudley Council, West Midlands, out of deference to Muslim sensibilities.

Students are victimized by the disappearance of low weekend prices in bars. Pressured by the University of Wisconsin and a federal campaign against binge drinking, 24 bars near the Madison campus agreed to end cut-rate weekend prices. Three students and a Minneapolis law firm failed to convince a Wisconsin circuit judge that this represented conspiracy and price fixing. But they are suing again in federal court.

Fired CBS employee is victimized by Viacom, CBS, vicious bloggers and the panel that investigated her, including a "McCarthyite" who asked if she is a liberal. Mary Mapes complained last week that people were saying mean things about her and the discredited "60 Minutes II" segment she produced about President Bush's military service. No apology, though. For unknown reasons, Mapes' new book is titled "Truth and Duty" rather than "I Messed Up Big Time and I'm Sorry."

Atheists are victimized by religious people. The Los Angeles Times said nonbelievers feel stress when a major leaguer points skyward after a hit or when an actor thanks God after winning an Oscar. Some join atheist groups anonymously to avoid harassment. Still, atheist organizations hope at least one presidential candidate will court their votes in 2008. Thank God.

New Orleans school-bus failure was Bush's fault - maybe Bill Clinton's too. Why didn't the city use all those empty buses to drive poor people to safety as Hurricane Katrina approached? Louisiana Sen. Mary Landrieu explained on Fox News: "It's because this administration and administrations before them do not understand the difficulties .... . .[the Bush] administration did not believe in mass transit."

[YankeeRebel]

ho-hum

Funny how the article doesn't mention how conservative religious fundamentalists are "victims" of the teaching evolution in science class. It also doesn't mention how conservatives are so often the "victims" of "activist" courts. It also forgets to mention how conservative religious fundamentalists are "victims" of "persecution" even though they seem to be firmly entrenched in all the positions of power. Not to mention all those good upstanding conservative politicians who are "victims" of the "liberal" media.

So where exactly is the big news here? There are people of every persuasion who claim to be the "victim" of something.

[YankeeRebel]

I guess the "news" here is that these are the so-called "top victims of 2005." Considering that this list isn't based on any empirical poll or study--that it's 100 percent opinion--it means that this person's "top victim list" is as valid as anybody's else's "top victim list." Why Joe Blow's personal "top victim list" is "newsworthy" defies explanation.

[lochinvar]

Why Joe Blow's personal "top victim list" is "newsworthy" defies explanation.

Because it's funny, twit.
Relax and have a beer. You'll feel better tomorrow. (Oh, by the way...I just victimized you, if you didn't notice.)

[PalmFrond]

Slim appears to feel that he is being victimised by victims - an embarrassing situation if there ever was one. It's a bit like being savaged by a goldfish.

[annacattiva]

PalmFrond, although I find your phrase "savaged by a goldfish" extremely funny, I'm sure that there is someone out there who identifies as a goldfish and resents your implication that he or she is incapable of doing bodily harm to someone else or to another goldfish.

[Slim]

Slim appears to feel that he is being victimised by victims - an embarrassing situation if there ever was one. It's a bit like being savaged by a goldfish.

Please refer to lochinvar's post.

[PalmFrond]

Please refer to lochinvar's post.

Being savaged by a goldfish is funny? It's obviously never happened to you! You don't understand the unique pain of being tormented by a small piscine monster...I feel victimised. Compensate me now!

[Gav]

If anyone needs a reminder of how dangerous goldfish are I would recommend reading "Pisces ya bass" a short story about a goldfish living in a Glasgow municipal pond.

[annacattiva]

If anyone needs a reminder of how dangerous goldfish are I would recommend reading "Pisces ya bass" a short story about a goldfish living in a Glasgow municipal pond.

And where might we find a copy of this example of Scottish literature? Who is the author? I want to see it!

Anna

[Gav]

There's an anothology of 'speculative fiction' called Nova Scotia. It's quite good and the story in question features in that.

The author is Gavin Inglis.

[jBirch]

There's an anothology of 'speculative fiction' called Nova Scotia. It's quite good and the story in question features in that.

The author is Gavin Inglis.

Nova Scotian literature is uniquely Canadian. Not Scottish.

James.

[Inquartata]

What?! but it's got the word "Scot" right in its name!

[jBirch]

Yeah, but it's new Scot. The old scots, "Scotia Arcanus" have their own literature resplendent in odes to drams and ruptured hagii. No need to go poaching ours.

*grin*

James.

[jBirch]

Oh yeah, and if it truly was "Nova Scotian" literature, it would have a cod and not a goldfish. Everyone knows that cod are WAY more scary then goldfish. Even psychotic Scottish ones.

James.

[Inquartata]

I was of course kidding...but I've a writer friend who penned a cycle of short stories, in the magical-realism school, which were set in Nova Scotia. He claims that the place is steeped in Scots culture and tradition...

[Valerio Versace]

1'm 4 v1kt1m 0f th1s thr34d!

[Gav]

Nova Scotian literature is uniquely Canadian. Not Scottish.

James.

Are you always so literal? Where did I say "Nova Scotian literature"?

Nova Scotia just means "New Scotland". Whether it's used as the title for a book about speculative modern scottish fiction or not. It's a witticism ...

And if you think that a Weegie goldfish isn't scary you clearly haven't been to Glasgow...

I didn't write the thing.

I'll see if I can dig out an email address for the editor and you can complain to him.

[jBirch]

Are you always so literal? Where did I say "Nova Scotian literature"?

When you penned the phrase, "There's an anothology of 'speculative fiction' called Nova Scotia". I interpreted it as a pun, for fun, though a ton less fun then getting irate at having my home referred to as "speculative fiction". Surely you too can see the irony in referring to Islay as a gothic novella?

Nova Scotia just means "New Scotland". Whether it's used as the title for a book about speculative modern scottish fiction or not. It's a witticism ...

Quite right, though certainly not a wicanism, witch would be just plain mean.

And if you think that a Weegie goldfish isn't scary you clearly haven't been to Glasgow...

I admit, alas, that I have no bin to Glasgee. What a weegie (wedgie???) goldfish is, I'm uncertain. Though, I'm equally certain you've never seen a squeegi cod either.

I didn't write the thing.

I'm sorry to hear that. It certainly seemed a very wicked, wiccan witicism.

I'll see if I can dig out an email address for the editor and you can complain to him.

Please. Perhaps I can at least get the local bookstore to re-shelve "Nova Scotia" in the non-fiction geography section out of respect. I'm not a fan of people victimising my home province.

James.