The how to get a guy thread

[RITFencing]

RIT: I understand completely. I have no idea how it feels from the guys side. I would imagine it would have a lot more pressure considering that you guys tend to have the weight of responsibility of asking the girls out. I don't really know what to say. I just haven't had many venues work for me, so I'm just venting.

Yeah, it's hard to know what the other gender goes through. We're all on the outside looking in. Unless you have Turner's Syndrome or something.

[Rapier_wit]

Turner's syndrome? That's just be scary...

So, RIT, any suggestions?

[RITFencing]

Yeah, I shouldn't have brought it up. My apologies.

[RITFencing]

Turner's syndrome? That's just be scary...

So, RIT, any suggestions?

Suggestions on what, how to pick up guys? I still stand by my earlier suggestion of inviting them out for coffee or a meal and engaging in witty banter and flirtation. If the guy is attached and has half a brain, he'll work his girlfirend into the conversation somehow, or drop a different sort of hint. I've seen both men and women use that as a subtle reminder that while they enjoy someone's company, they're currently spoken for.

[achilleus]

Howtobrew - That it's not a good idea to ask a guy out, especially when he has a girlfriend. I understand what you're saying, but unfortunately I've gotten in one too many fist fights and broken friendships because of it, so I tend to not initiate the romantic side of things. I tried doing that recently and not only did he have a girlfriend, but he severed his entire friendship with me, so I tend to be a little pessimistic.

Here's a question, why do you guys flirt with us and lead us on like you have an interest? I don't get that. (I'm sorry if I'm sounding like an uber guber over here, I just have been burned a little too much lately.)

I'm coming from the odd angle of a girl trying to get out of being a tomboy and that makes for a really weird transition period. I've tried the flirting, not flirting, asking, not asking, etc. But nothing seems to be working. The more I try, the more I get hurt. Yet the less I try, nothing happens.

Maybe I should try moving to Sweden...

You ever had a girlfriend? I'm guessing not...

Well, let me tell you they are strange creatures...

First off, not only do they need to eat and drink your food (one of many ways of marking territory), but they tend to to be possessive. As a result, as soon as another girl throws her name in the hat, the guys in trouble just for associating with said girl. This isn't all, but a good majority, especially the younger ones. So if you happened upon a clueless guy, with a young girlfriend, he was probably just protecting himself, so out you go.

As to why guys flirt, same as some girls, cause it's fun.

Seriously though, there could be a ton of reasons...

Such as, some guys are truly clueless and don't realize what's going on.

Sometimes it's just a game. There's this girl at the fencing club that I flirt with. It's raunchy and entertaining, but nothing will ever happen. We both wouldn't date each other for a variety of reasons, but we still flirt...

And sometimes, we are still trying to make up our minds.

[RITFencing]

You ever had a girlfriend? I'm guessing not...

Dude... RW isn't a dude, and to my knowledge is hetero.

[Fencergrl]

I agree... getting to know someone casually or with a group of people is a good way to go. It allows you to get to know them a little, and it weeds out the people who are not right for you.

Either you will "click" with someone or you won't.

I like watching how someone behaves with others, rather than when they are on their best behaviour/ picking up women mode.

[achilleus]

Dude... RW isn't a dude, and to my knowledge is hetero.

Yup, I'm aware, she's a tomboy looking for a boy. Got it.

That's why I'm assuming she's never had a girlfriend...

[RITFencing]

Yup, I'm aware, she's a tomboy looking for a boy. Got it.

That's why I'm assuming she's never had a girlfriend...

Oh. Duh. My brain doesn't function at full capacity at work, sorry.

[Fencergrl]

Sometimes it's just a game. There's this girl at the fencing club that I flirt with. It's raunchy and entertaining, but nothing will ever happen. We both wouldn't date each other for a variety of reasons, but we still flirt...

I think flirting is much easier as you get older. Men & women over 25 just know how to flirt for fun or out of interest. It is wayyyy more fun being a flirtatious 40-something than an uncertain 20- something.

Hang in there Rapier_wit, we've all been there. It does get easier and more fun.

[ReverseLunge]

I dont see the oint of this thread. If a girl wants to get a guy all she has to do is nothing except be a girl. What's the point in teaching a fish how to swim?

[Rapier_wit]

RIT: Oh no problem, you don't need to apologize. As far as the coffee suggestion goes, that's actually what I normally do. I've been trying the whole flirting deal, but since I'm new to it, I guess I'm not any good at it. Thanks for the help though.

Achilleus: Umm, I'm a girl...so, no I've never had girlfriend. As far as the food goes, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm usually having to stave off you guys from stealing my mom's homemade bread!

Fencergrl: Good point. I tend to get to know the guys through one of my groups (usually my ROTC pals. There's nothing like having 20 older brothers who just happen to be drill sergeants. ) Maybe it's the fact that I'm underage that's the problem. Being a 17 year old in college kinda sucks. Thanks for the encouragment though!

Reverselunge: Because it doesn't work.

[achilleus]

Achilleus: Umm, I'm a girl...so, no I've never had girlfriend. As far as the food goes, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm usually having to stave off you guys from stealing my mom's homemade bread!

Well, I'll explain the food bit...

It goes like this:

Me: Honey, I'm really thirsty. I'm gonna grab a drink, would you like me to get you something?
Her: No thanks. I'm good.
Me: You sure? Cause if you want anything, just let me know, I'll get it right now.
Her: No, really I'm good.
Me: OK...
[Goes gets drink, comes back}
Her: Hey can I have a sip of that?
Me: I thought you didn't want anything?!?!?
[reluctantly hands over drink]
Her: I just want a taste, that's all I don't want a whole drink...
[proceeds to drink much more than a taste]
Me: Oh...Well, I wouldn't have minded just grabbing you a drink that you wouldn't finish.
Her: No. This is fine.
[Hands drink back considerably lighter]
Me [After finishing drink]: Well, I'm still thirsty so I'm gonna get another...
Her: Wow, you're still thirsty?!?
Me: Yes, that's why I ordered the drink that I didn't get to drink all of. I'll probably get some food to snack on cause I'm hungry. Would you like something?
Her: No. I'm good.
[Fade to black...]

[latenight]

Hmm.......girl getting a guy, huh?


Well, a girl has boobs...the rest should be easy. Either that or your hanging around entirely the wrong kinda guys......

[Fencergrl]

Well, I'll explain the food bit...

LOL... that is soooo true... my husband doesn't get it either, he just knows to order extra of anything I'll like.

[Fencergrl]

Hmm.......girl getting a guy, huh?

Well, a girl has boobs...the rest should be easy. Either that or your hanging around entirely the wrong kinda guys......

Late, Late, Late.... she's 17... your gender is hopeless at picking up girls at that age. It's nothing that time won't cure.

[RITFencing]

Late, Late, Late.... she's 17... your gender is hopeless at picking up girls at that age. It's nothing that time won't cure.

Nah, when I was 17 it was easy. Still is. The trick is to lift with your legs.

*rimshot*

[RITFencing]

LOL... that is soooo true... my husband doesn't get it either, he just knows to order extra of anything I'll like.

It's because you don't realize how much you want something until it's right in front of you. Also, when dieting, things eaten off of someone else's plate don't count.

[bmcfencer]

Hmm.......girl getting a guy, huh?


Well, a girl has boobs...the rest should be easy. Either that or your hanging around entirely the wrong kinda guys......

It's funny, before I was openly interested in women I would have disagreed, and said that it's terribly difficult to get a guy (or at least, a guy I wanted to get). Now I'm convinced getting MEN is easy. It's all relative, I suppose.

[Fencergrl]

It's because you don't realize how much you want something until it's right in front of you. Also, when dieting, things eaten off of someone else's plate don't count.

Plus it's a bonding thing... I do it to people I feel comfortable with.... my sisters, my best friends, my husband etc...

My husband loves taking my sister and I out for dinner because it amuses him that we negotiate what we're going to share off of each other's plates and I leave his alone.