The how to get a guy thread

[Mr Epee]

Sometimes it's important to remember that some people are merely statistics in the great scheme of natural selection.

Don't take it personally.

[akaiyuki]

Boys who fence tend to like girls who fence. And a lot of boys who don't fence like girls who fence. So basically, we're all already ahead a few points.

Does that mean all boys are masochists?

[RITFencing]

Alright, here is the number 1 way to get a guy to go out with you:

ASK.

It's really that simple. We have no idea what's going on in your heads, so we rarely know when a girl is interested in us without some sort of overt hint. It makes things so much easier on us if you guys make the first move once in a while, too, and to the devil with traditional intergender relationships.

If there is a guy you like, please, for the love of god, ask him out. Even if it turns out he's got a girlfriend or something, he'll be really flattered.

[Rapier_wit]

RIT: Coming from the girl's point of view, that's a really risky venture, especially if the guy has a girlfriend. Not only does it usually put you at odds with the guy (since he now knows you like him and tends to view your actions in that light), but now you've got the girlfriend to worry about. There's nothing like a little anamosity between two girls. Besides, things can turn really nasty in a friendship if the girl develops a crush on the guy, tells him her feelings, only to find out he's already hitched and vice versa. It's not a pretty picture.

[glowstix]

Another thing (in Sweden, at least) is that there are significant immigration minority groups which on a regular basis pair up with Swedish girls, but their girls very rarely pair up with Swedish guys. This makes the stats game that much harder to play for the (Swedish) guy.

sounds like i need to move to sweden.. can i get by on just english alone???

[achilleus]

Girls, not all boys are clueless when it comes to women.

I personally love a good flirt, and can read most, if not all, the signs from the hair flipping, to the leaning in to talk, to avoiding direct eye contact, etc...

Sure the direct approach cuts out a lot of crap, but where's the fun in that?

The problem for the girls, is that I am the boy your mother warned you about, as are most guys who can read the signals. After all there is a reason we can read your subtle (and not so subtle) signals. It's because of all the extensive field work we've done, and are most likely still conducting...

[howtobrew]

RIT: Coming from the girl's point of view, that's a really risky venture, especially if the guy has a girlfriend. Not only does it usually put you at odds with the guy (since he now knows you like him and tends to view your actions in that light), but now you've got the girlfriend to worry about. There's nothing like a little anamosity between two girls. Besides, things can turn really nasty in a friendship if the girl develops a crush on the guy, tells him her feelings, only to find out he's already hitched and vice versa. It's not a pretty picture.

And your point would be...?
Seriously, this is exactly what guys have to deal with all the time. I went to Michigan Tech were there were twice as many men as women. You asked and you moved on, or kept in touch in case she became available. Be cool about it.
Take your lumps. Faint hearts never won fair maidens, especially the really hot ones.

[Gav]

Girls, not all boys are clueless when it comes to women.

I personally love a good flirt, and can read most, if not all, the signs from the hair flipping, to the leaning in to talk, to avoiding direct eye contact, etc...

Good post.

I am also not clueless about women. If a guy shows disinterest, it's not necessarily because he's an amateur woman finder - he may just be not interested.

[glowstix]

I am also not clueless about women. If a guy shows disinterest, it's not necessarily because he's an amateur woman finder - he may just be not interested.

wow!! i too am not clueless!! i thought i was the only one!! i'm sooo not clueless that i know all the signs that chicks are interested because i don't get any of them!! lol!!

[RITFencing]

Ok, several good points were made at the expense of my post

To rephrase: my point was to make sure to show some interest so that it's not completely guesswork. Achellius is right in that it gets boring without some flirting and quick witted wordplay, and Gav is right that if a guy shows disinterest, it may be because he's not interested.

However, there are men out there who are either shy or worry too much about offending women. It's very nice when girls take a little of the guesswork out of it and do some flirting, or invite a guy to have coffee or a meal with them, or just hang around that guy.

[Mr Epee]

Girls, not all boys are clueless when it comes to women.

I personally love a good flirt, and can read most, if not all, the signs from the hair flipping, to the leaning in to talk, to avoiding direct eye contact, etc...

Sure the direct approach cuts out a lot of crap, but where's the fun in that?

The problem for the girls, is that I am the boy your mother warned you about, as are most guys who can read the signals. After all there is a reason we can read your subtle (and not so subtle) signals. It's because of all the extensive field work we've done, and are most likely still conducting...

That's it young man...

I'm cancelling your X-mas subscription to Maxim Magazine.

It's back to National Geographic for you.

[PeterGustafsson]

Hi!

sounds like i need to move to sweden.. can i get by on just english alone???

In the big cities or in an academic setting, yes. You can get by, but not knowing the language does still put you at a competive disadvantage.

I live in the extreme south, and it is below freezing now. Further up north, one can expect -20 to -30 Celcius for weeks on end, and snow cover for 220 days/year in the central north. The winter in ZZ´s hometown is 3-4 months of no sun, snow sludge on the streets, 0-5 Celcius below zero, howling salt winds from the ocean, and a sky that goes from gray to black. I grew up there.

(The town where I did the practical work for my mining PhD. thesis experiences sunset at December 8th, and it is pitch black until the sun rises again in January 2nd. Good market for the state alcohol shop, and sun tanning booths. It also has a male/female ratio among singles of 1.5/1, or so.)

For someone from the carribean, that is something to remember when considering relocation.


Have a nice time!

Peter Gustafsson

[ReverseLunge]

sounds like i need to move to sweden.. can i get by on just english alone???

Are you kidding me? You don't have to say anything or speak any language if you move to Sweden. You have no idea how much Swedish women love black men. I'm being totally serious here. If you go to Sweden you can live off the women for the whole time you are there. They will treat you like a prince.

[Mr Epee]

Are you kidding me? You don't have to say anything or speak any language if you move to Sweden. You have no idea how much Swedish women love black men. I'm being totally serious here. If you go to Sweden you can live off the women for the whole time you are there. They will treat you like a prince.

Just tell 'em you know Tony

This will work... I promise you.

[Rapier_wit]

Howtobrew - That it's not a good idea to ask a guy out, especially when he has a girlfriend. I understand what you're saying, but unfortunately I've gotten in one too many fist fights and broken friendships because of it, so I tend to not initiate the romantic side of things. I tried doing that recently and not only did he have a girlfriend, but he severed his entire friendship with me, so I tend to be a little pessimistic.

Here's a question, why do you guys flirt with us and lead us on like you have an interest? I don't get that. (I'm sorry if I'm sounding like an uber guber over here, I just have been burned a little too much lately.)

I'm coming from the odd angle of a girl trying to get out of being a tomboy and that makes for a really weird transition period. I've tried the flirting, not flirting, asking, not asking, etc. But nothing seems to be working. The more I try, the more I get hurt. Yet the less I try, nothing happens.

Maybe I should try moving to Sweden...

[glowstix]

For someone from the carribean, that is something to remember when considering relocation.

i'm pretty good at adjusting.. my biggest problem would be the language barrier.

[RITFencing]

RIT: Coming from the girl's point of view, that's a really risky venture, especially if the guy has a girlfriend. Not only does it usually put you at odds with the guy (since he now knows you like him and tends to view your actions in that light), but now you've got the girlfriend to worry about. There's nothing like a little anamosity between two girls. Besides, things can turn really nasty in a friendship if the girl develops a crush on the guy, tells him her feelings, only to find out he's already hitched and vice versa. It's not a pretty picture.

By the same token, though, what's to say that a girl we ask out doesn't have a boyfriend? Or a girlfirend, for that matter? I've seen the results of animosity between girls, and while it tends to be more drawn out and nasty than the stuff between boys, it doesn't end in broken bones as often.

As far as ruining a friendship, if a guy tells a female friend about a crush, it's still possible to ruin things there, depending on prior relationships and the possible lack of mutual feelings.

All I'm saying is that it's a risk either way, and that either gender should be free to initiate these things. Gender equality, you know?

[Rapier_wit]

RIT: I understand completely. I have no idea how it feels from the guys side. I would imagine it would have a lot more pressure considering that you guys tend to have the weight of responsibility of asking the girls out. I don't really know what to say. I just haven't had many venues work for me, so I'm just venting.

[bmcfencer]

On a totally random note, the girl who lives next to us has the most fabulous tee-shirt taped to her door.

"MIT men.... the odds are good, but the goods are odd"

[RITFencing]

A friend fo mine who goes to Stevens once made a shirt that said: "Stevens Institute of Technology: 70% Male, 30% Female, 100% Masturbation"