The how to get a guy thread

[RITFencing]

I'm afraid I have to disagree. By risking, I've only become that more lonely, that more hurt, and that more abused. I prefer not taking the risks. I know it's a bad strategy, but I'd rather be lonely then go through some of the ****I've been through.

RW, you're 17 years old. Believe me when I say that life will get better and men will get more mature. You may feel that way now, but what about when you're 40 years old? Will you want to never have had a relationship? Unfortunately, not taking any risks will all but guarantee that things will end up poorly. It's not easy, but neither is life.

You're pretty young now, so there's no need to rush these things. Keep it in mind, though, and if you see the opportunity and you feel ready, you go for it. You can't win if you don't play.

[Rapier_wit]

I know, I just...shoot, just let me have my pity party, will ya?!

But anyways, I will eventually discard my pessimistic attitudes and embark on the risk taking, but right now it just seems like for every guy I meet now it just turns for the worst. As far as the age goes, I keep forgetting that. I'm used to socializing with people much older than myself, so I tend to forget that I'm young and especially underage! Most of my good friends are teachers/ instructors of some sort, I have very few friends anywhere near my age. So you'll have to forgive me for forgetting the obvious.

[RITFencing]

I know, I just...shoot, just let me have my pity party, will ya?!

But anyways, I will eventually discard my pessimistic attitudes and embark on the risk taking, but right now it just seems like for every guy I meet now it just turns for the worst. As far as the age goes, I keep forgetting that. I'm used to socializing with people much older than myself, so I tend to forget that I'm young and especially underage! Most of my good friends are teachers/ instructors of some sort, I have very few friends anywhere near my age. So you'll have to forgive me for forgetting the obvious.

Have you thought of hanging around guys your own age sometimes? I know you're in college, which means there's no meeting them at school, but there must be some youth oriented junk around at your church, or YMCA, or something.

[Rapier_wit]

Oh trust me, I do! But for some reason, they never stick around long enough to talk to me, well minus a few, but they're very few an far between. The way I see it, I'm kind of like the girl at those parties you hear about where she comes in, chills with a few friends, the suddenly becomes the life of the party, but at the end of the night, everyone goes home, and even her friends leave her to clean up. It's my role in life, I'm just accepting it. There's not really much I can do to change it.

[melihop]

Her point exactly.

yes.. but i asked beacuse it seemed like this was a personal observation/mistake made at some point in time....

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

Back on topic...I had an interesting turn of events at the Scenic City tournament on Sunday as far as the "How to get a guy thread" goes. Apparently, my own coach and some members of his fencing club (who I don't even know!) were trying to matchmake against me with a fencer at the tournament. How sad is that?

Do you know whats even more sad? I had no idea what rebel was up to until I found out later, post tournament.

[bmcfencer]

yes.. but i asked beacuse it seemed like this was a personal observation/mistake made at some point in time....

Yep. See Dating among Club Members thread. I didn't want to put this person on the spot so told her and ran away. She is INCREDIBLY busy, and, I assume, uninterested in me or dating- it's been almost a month and I haven't heard from her and have given up on trying to contact her about it. At least if I'd waited I could have been rejected instead of... well, agonizing over the whole thing for as long as I have. Oh pathos, pathos.

Then again, maybe she wouldn't have rejected me... or would have said something along the lines of "you're cute but I'm too busy"..... anyway, in retrospect fleeing wasn't a good option.

And I was getting some signals that she was attracted to me, or I wouldn't have had the courage to tell her I liked her at all.

She once BIT ME ON THE SHOULDER.

Maybe rebel's right, and she was just hungry.

[Rapier_wit]

Do you know whats even more sad? I had no idea what rebel was up to until I found out later, post tournament.

Yeah, same here. Though you have to admit, it is kind of amusing, nonetheless.

[RITFencing]

yes.. but i asked beacuse it seemed like this was a personal observation/mistake made at some point in time....

I know, she was trying to get people to ask the question you did.

[The Mormegil]

I've been thinking of just telling the girl(Katie) that i'm just a guy standing here asking her to love me, but i'm not to sure how that would go over. I think the worst would be having her say "I know, but..."

[bmcfencer]

I know, she was trying to get people to ask the question you did.

YOu're a smart one. I'm an obnoxiously manipulative female, it's true.

[Araznal]

I've been in that situation with this girl I didn't really like. I felt absolutely terrible. She said, "Dan, I really like you and I was wondering if you like me." I think I said the worst this possible at that point: "I used to think I liked you, but... (long pause) we can still be friends." I actually wanted that since we got along pretty well, and she said sure. We haven't spoken ever since. That was 4 years ago.

I feel like such a schmuck for doing that to her.

[D+F+P=Hadouken!]

I've been in that situation with this girl I didn't really like. I felt absolutely terrible. She said, "Dan, I really like you and I was wondering if you like me." I think I said the worst this possible at that point: "I used to think I liked you, but... (long pause) we can still be friends." I actually wanted that since we got along pretty well, and she said sure. We haven't spoken ever since. That was 4 years ago.

I feel like such a schmuck for doing that to her.

Nice. You turned her to **** man, congrats.

[RITFencing]

YOu're a smart one. I'm an obnoxiously manipulative female, it's true.

Actually I'm a fraud. Don't tell anyone, but it's much easier to fake intelligence and skill than to have them.

[Rapier_wit]

Actually I'm a fraud. Don't tell anyone, but it's much easier to fake intelligence and skill than to have them.

Aha! You've been exposed! Now we know your dirty little secret.

[RITFencing]

Aha! You've been exposed! Now we know your dirty little secret.

No, now you know one secret. You still haven't heard my dirty little one. And you don't want to.

[bmcfencer]

I've been in that situation with this girl I didn't really like. I felt absolutely terrible. She said, "Dan, I really like you and I was wondering if you like me." I think I said the worst this possible at that point: "I used to think I liked you, but... (long pause) we can still be friends." I actually wanted that since we got along pretty well, and she said sure. We haven't spoken ever since. That was 4 years ago.

I feel like such a schmuck for doing that to her.

That stinks. I've been in situations sortof like that, or rather situations where things with one of my guy friends got romantical, he realized he didn't like me after all and then the friendship ended as well as the romanticallness (I'm sleep deprived, can you tell?). I've always sortof wondered if some of those friendships weren't just the guy figuring out if he liked me or not.

Worst ever was the time things got romantic between me and my best friend and then he dumped me so I lost my best friend and my boyfriend at the same time. "I just want us to go back to being friends" turned out to mean "I never want to talk to you again". Or something. I still miss him.

In some ways I think losing friends is a lot worse than being dumped by a romantic interest. Because relationships are supposed to end, but friends are supposed to still be there, you know?

[RITFencing]

In some ways I think losing friends is a lot worse than being dumped by a romantic interest. Because relationships are supposed to end, but friends are supposed to still be there, you know?

I think that's why some of the best relationships are between people who are friends as well as partners.

[Rapier_wit]

RIT -

As far as partners go, I think in any relationship, your significant other should be your best friend. It would only make sense that that be the case as communication could get lost otherwise.

[RITFencing]

RIT -

As far as partners go, I think in any relationship, your significant other should be your best friend. It would only make sense that that be the case as communication could get lost otherwise.

That's my point exactly, m'dear.