Dating among club members

[dilznik]

When she wants to practice, I tend to focus on that more then trying to make a move on her. And I'm still trying to decide how to go about the latter in between bouts..

I could tell you but... I move a lot. I might end up in LA one day and need a date from your club. Booya.

I still think she has a boyfriend though.

Why don't you ask? "Do you have a boyfriend? Yes? Lucky guy." Then thrash her 15-0. Or if not... see above (my posts, not the fools who insist on winning).

[Larrison]

Er, I thought that's what fencing was all about...

Okay so I tried the tactics of a few of the other people. The "don't throw the matches" theories. I figured what the heck, second day at a new club, I'll fence the cutest girl in here. And I frikkin' flattened her in foil. So we fenced epee. And I frikkin' flattened her there, too. And you know what the outcome was? Well I'll give you a hint. It's 1.10am and I'm sitting here at my computer. That "other" technique sucks. I shoulda let her win. At least then she might've talked to me after that. Let that be a lesson to the rest of you.

Err... how did you "flatten" her? Did you not say anything but just fence full out until it was 15-2 and then celebrated? (I assume you didn't -- at least I hope you didn't...) Or did you fence well, but also make time a bit to talk to her after the bout about what she was doing that worked, and didn't work -- or what you were doing that worked on her, and what she might have done to counter that? And then invite her back on the strip, not as a bout but to just practice on what worked and didn't work?

[JackOfHearts]

I could tell you but... I move a lot. I might end up in LA one day and need a date from your club. Booya.



Why don't you ask? "Do you have a boyfriend? Yes? Lucky guy." Then thrash her 15-0. Or if not... see above (my posts, not the fools who insist on winning).

I'll ask her when I see her next. I didn't have a chance to talk with her much at the last club meeting, but we'll see. And even if she did, well... 'Cest La Vie...

...

And if you are ever in town, It would be nice to cross swords with you. Just keep in mind that if I should have a girlfriend by then, I won't take kindly to you trying anything with her. This IS a sport with swords afterall...

[dilznik]

Err... how did you "flatten" her? Did you not say anything but just fence full out until it was 15-2 and then celebrated? (I assume you didn't -- at least I hope you didn't...) Or did you fence well, but also make time a bit to talk to her after the bout about what she was doing that worked, and didn't work -- or what you were doing that worked on her, and what she might have done to counter that? And then invite her back on the strip, not as a bout but to just practice on what worked and didn't work?

Nope, made short work of her with her coach watching, and then when he told her that she was totally screwing everything up I pointed out "clearly she was just being nice and letting the new guy win so that I'd come back." That was after the epee bout (she's an epee fencer). It was pretty clear what she was doing wrong in foil. The stabbing me in the face and the arm was an oh-so-subtle giveaway. And at 15-4 (see? I'm a nice guy) there wasn't much to discuss. And as far as working the problems out... 1. the coach was there to berate her for losing to an American and 2. no one should ever fence like me. Ever. Under any circumstances.

I didn't celebrate, though. Although in the foil match, I think that mentioning "wow, eight flicks in a row. I didn't think I'd be able to do that with the new timings" was probably something that I should've kept to myself.

[dilznik]

And if you are ever in town, It would be nice to cross swords with you. Just keep in mind that if I should have a girlfriend by then, I won't take kindly to you trying anything. This IS a sport with swords afterall...

Dude, no offense, and I'm all about 2005 and PC and stuff but, I don't want to date you. Ergo, I see no reason to let you win. Feel free to point me towards that girl though...

[JackOfHearts]

Dude, no offense, and I'm all about 2005 and PC and stuff but, I don't want to date you. Ergo, I see no reason to let you win. Feel free to point me towards that girl though...

Dude, that is so wrong. Just so there's no confusion, I'm straight, and I don't need anyone to 'let' me win.

And find your own girl.

*orginal post edited for clarification* God I love the english language.

[myhero]

My coach likes it when I start dating guys from other clubs so they will start coming to our club and then dump them when they become a regular. I think my coach is using me....

[MyrddinsPrecint]

Nope, made short work of her with her coach watching, and then when he told her that she was totally screwing everything up I pointed out "clearly she was just being nice and letting the new guy win so that I'd come back." That was after the epee bout (she's an epee fencer). It was pretty clear what she was doing wrong in foil. The stabbing me in the face and the arm was an oh-so-subtle giveaway. And at 15-4 (see? I'm a nice guy) there wasn't much to discuss. And as far as working the problems out... 1. the coach was there to berate her for losing to an American and 2. no one should ever fence like me. Ever. Under any circumstances.

I didn't celebrate, though. Although in the foil match, I think that mentioning "wow, eight flicks in a row. I didn't think I'd be able to do that with the new timings" was probably something that I should've kept to myself.

have you ever considered that perhaps the girl doesnt like you for reasons that have nothing to do with you beating her?

[RebelFencer]

Dude, that is so wrong. Just so there's no confusion, I'm straight, and I don't need anyone to 'let' me win.

And find your own girl.

*orginal post edited for clarification* God I love the english language.

Me thinks thou dost protest too much. I mean...if you look at all your posts your like, "Hey guys! Look, there's a girl posting, and I'm flirting with her! I am sooo way hetero...don't bother asking me if I'm not...cause I am!"

The girl at the club doesn't exist, does she?

[JackOfHearts]

Me thinks thou dost protest too much. I mean...if you look at all your posts your like, "Hey guys! Look, there's a girl posting, and I'm flirting with her! I am sooo way hetero...don't bother asking me if I'm not...cause I am!"

The girl at the club doesn't exist, does she?

All of my posts? Meh, maybe a few. And yes, she does exist.

[skermulo]

Of course it happens. If fencing is a large part of your social life, then it's a great place to meet people for both friendship and dating.

It just gets annoying when said couple can't be away from each other for five minutes. No, you really don't need to speak to one another between every touch. Being in seperate pools during a practice won't kill you. We're here to fence, not hold hands.

Then again, any obnoxious public display of affection is annoying.

[I_luv_saber]

Of course it happens. If fencing is a large part of your social life, then it's a great place to meet people for both friendship and dating.

It just gets annoying when said couple can't be away from each other for five minutes. No, you really don't need to speak to one another between every touch. Being in seperate pools during a practice won't kill you. We're here to fence, not hold hands.

Then again, any obnoxious public display of affection is annoying.

By and large, I agree with this statement. I feel fencing is a great way to meet people, but should not take place at the club itself. We're here to fence. The same apllies for friends. You're friends, that's great, talking in between bouts a bit, fine; but when your wasting fencing time talking for more than 10 or 15 minutes, you need to meet outside fencing. But yes, I think it's perfectly natural and okay to meet with people who share your interests.

[dilznik]

have you ever considered that perhaps the girl doesnt like you for reasons that have nothing to do with you beating her?

No. I have absolutely never considered that. And I will not start now. It's not possible. Lies. Blasphemy. I guess we'll never know since I didn't let her win.

Me thinks thou dost protest too much. I mean...if you look at all your posts your like, "Hey guys! Look, there's a girl posting, and I'm flirting with her! I am sooo way hetero...don't bother asking me if I'm not...cause I am!"

The girl at the club doesn't exist, does she?

Hahahahahahahaha that's hilarious. You know what they say about the people that deny things the most...

but when your wasting fencing time talking for more than 10 or 15 minutes, you need to meet outside fencing.

I'm 31 years old. I usually spend the first 10 minutes after a good bout with my face attached to some oxygen. After that the banter starts. And if it goes longer than 15 minutes, then it goes longer than 15 minutes. Then again, I started fencing because I thought it would be a good way to meet chicks. It was purely accidental that I actually ended up liking the sport. And it is indeed a great place to meet chicks. Or guys, right JackOfHearts?

[cherubknight]

I like being in a club with little to no interteamate dating I know plenty of clubs this is not a problem for, but any avoided drama is drama of the best kind.

I like not dealing with that kind of tension when I go to practice. No squabbling exes, no mushy couples. Just friends, and fencing. I enjoy socializing, but its still practice and Im not there to pay attention to social dynamics. Im there to train so I can compete at a high level.

On the other hand, I dont think that dating and unfocused practice necessarily go hand in hand. I know plenty of folks capable of leaving coupleness or grudges at the door and having a solid workout despite romantic involvement (or lack thereof ). Even so, I still prefer the way things are at my club

[JackOfHearts]

I'm 31 years old. I usually spend the first 10 minutes after a good bout with my face attached to some oxygen. After that the banter starts. And if it goes longer than 15 minutes, then it goes longer than 15 minutes. Then again, I started fencing because I thought it would be a good way to meet chicks. It was purely accidental that I actually ended up liking the sport. And it is indeed a great place to meet chicks. Or guys, right JackOfHearts?

Chicks, definetly. Guys, I dunno. Oi, the trouble one missed word can cause!

[bmcfencer]

Thanks for the pep talk, bmcfencer. I knew it would be worthwhile to join this forum.

I didn't get a chance to speak with her at the last club meeting, but perhaps I'll get my chance at the next one. I still think she has a boyfriend though. She's intelligent, decent sense of humor, a gorgeous smile, beautiful brown eyes, and despite only being in the sport for a couple of weeks she shows a lot of promise. It would be inconcieveable for a girl like that to be single. Though wether she is or isn't, I'm still going to try and get to know her better. At worst, I may get a new friend. And that isn't bad at all, is it? Though bmc, I know for a fact that beauty can be intimidating (case in point, look above). If you ever change your mind about dating fencers, take a look around. If your friend is any indication, a good fraction of the guys around you are perhaps worshiping you from afar. And thanks for the luck. I'm probably going to need it.

You are most welcome!

For goodness sakes ask her. About having a boyfriend, I mean, and if she doesn't... well, ask her then if she'd like to get coffee or something and try to work in the reasons that you like her. As in, "I'd love a chance to talk to you more because it's so nice to meet such an intelligent person with such a great sense of humor" and maybe somehow let it slip that she has amazing eyes too. If you can't work yourself up to do that, at least compliment her on her fencing. Don't be afraid to tell her you think she's beautiful. NO ONE hears that enough, trust me, and worst case scenario if you do it casually enough it will just make her day a lot brighter. More friends is always good!

I very much doubt anyone is "worshipping me from afar", though I thank you. At the moment I'm.... courting a rugby player. We'll see how THAT goes.

[JackOfHearts]

You are most welcome!

For goodness sakes ask her. About having a boyfriend, I mean, and if she doesn't... well, ask her then if she'd like to get coffee or something and try to work in the reasons that you like her. As in, "I'd love a chance to talk to you more because it's so nice to meet such an intelligent person with such a great sense of humor" and maybe somehow let it slip that she has amazing eyes too. If you can't work yourself up to do that, at least compliment her on her fencing. Don't be afraid to tell her you think she's beautiful. NO ONE hears that enough, trust me, and worst case scenario if you do it casually enough it will just make her day a lot brighter. More friends is always good!

I very much doubt anyone is "worshipping me from afar", though I thank you. At the moment I'm.... courting a rugby player. We'll see how THAT goes.

We'll see. Hopefully I'll get a chance to talk with her this friday. Her foil work is definetly getting better, so that'll be something to start a convo with. We'll see...

Good luck with your rugby player. I never did get that sport though. So its just football without the pads? From what i've gathered about you so far, I don't think he'd be able to resist.

[KD5MDK]

I wouldn't lay it on too think. At least, not in one sentence. Just say she's (cute, pretty, attractive, but just say one) and interesting, and you'd like to get to know her better.

Also, good luck with the rugby player, bmc. Does she do league or union style? (Do women ever play Rugby Union?)

[dilznik]

Also, good luck with the rugby player, bmc. Does she do league or union style? (Do women ever play Rugby Union?)

I think you'll find bmc is a chick, and the rugby player is a guy...

For goodness sakes ask her. About having a boyfriend, I mean, and if she doesn't... well, ask her then if she'd like to get coffee or something and try to work in the reasons that you like her

Amen. And if she does have a boyfriend, go out for coffee anyway. The only reason she has a boyfriend is because she doesn't know you well enough yet and she clearly settled for hanging out for some non-fencing wanker rather than hanging out with the studly, unstoppable, potentially sexual orientation confused but nonetheless knows what he wants this time, fencing machine: JackofHearts. She's just sitting there waiting for someone that doesn't suck to come and rescue her from that dead end relationship.
Or she's single and you're set. Chin up, chest out, back straight, cuz you're the best thing that's ever happened to her and if she blows it, it's her loss. And don't come back without positive news!

[bmcfencer]

I don't know what type of rugby..... I'm still trying to get a basic grasp of what's going on during games. Also I spend a lot of time resisting the urge to run onto the field to stop them from hurting each other.

Thanks for the good wishes! I certainly need them. Much easier to give advise about this sort of thing than to follow it.